


Like Mother, Like Daughter (Season 4)

by originella



Series: Like Mother, Like Daughter [4]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-06 17:42:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 78,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19067482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/originella/pseuds/originella
Summary: Eighteen-year-old Iana Milkovich is contending with a broken heart, along with her brother's arrest, and two different men in her life that just won't let go. Not to mention the notion that Yev's arrest just seems off, and secret are being kept, so Iana must consider if she'll throw herself into detective work, she deals with attending college and raising her daughter as well.





	1. It’s All Coming Back To Me Now

Courtrooms and Milkovich’s are not friends; this is one of the first lessons I learned from Pops when he came back into my life. Although I had yet to take on that moniker, he was sure to tell me that fact. Courtrooms scared the shit out of me, and why wouldn’t they? When you’re suddenly shoved out of the way after being found not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect, only to have your attorney be gunned down, right before your eyes?

Almost as if he sensed my anxiety, Axel reached out and took my hand. He smiled slightly then as I turned to look at him, and he pressed his lips to my forehead. “Don’t worry,” he whispered out the side of his mouth. “It’s going to be fine.”

“We’ve been stuck in here for two months, ever since I came back from Los Angeles,” I said back to him, the anxiety filling my voice. “I’m sorry if this has been such a pain in the ass to you, Axel, really, but Yev’s my brother…”

“You don’t have to explain it to be, Iana. I get it,” he said, squeezing my hand. “We took the three months that you were gone to take a step back, and I’m relieved to have you back in my life again.”

I smiled then, the unexpectedness of the gesture catching him momentarily off-guard. “I’m glad to have you back in my life, too, Axel,” I said then.

A door opened off the side of the courtroom then, and I launched to my feet as Yev was led out of the back room. Garbed from head to toe in a yellow jumpsuit, his wrists and ankles shackled in place, my heart went out to him as he was led forward. I threw my arms around him once he was close enough, and Dad, as his lawyer, was able to get the shackles in his wrists undone so that he could hug me back.

“Are you okay?” I whispered, trying to keep the tears from my eyes as I clutched onto him, my arms wound tight around his frame.

“I’m fine, Iana, really,” he said, his voice quiet and subdued as he squeezed me back for a moment, before his eyes looked around the courtroom. “No Desmond today?”

I sighed, pulling back. “No, sorry. Most of his texts to me are asking me to take Penny and Lacey’s phone calls, but today something came up with the company. He’s sorry.”

Yev nodded. “It’s cool,” he replied. “And Pops?”

“Trying to prevent Mom from killing Terry,” I replied. “Uncle Ian is serving as back-up. As for the rest of them, they’re working.”

“We’ll make do with what we’ve got, then,” he said, turning to Axel.

“How’re you doing, man?” Axel asked, and the pair gave each other one-armed hugs. “They treating you all right in there?”

He shrugged. “Best of a bad situation all around, I guess.” He hesitated for a moment then before he looked up at Axel. “Listen, I’m sorry about all this. I didn’t want to run…”

“It’s okay, Yev,” Axel said, cutting him off, squeezing his shoulder. “Although Iana had to explain to me what happened, I’ve come to understand her way of thinking.” Axel turned to me and smiled. “She just didn’t want to lose her brother. I can accept that.”

Yev smiled. “You’re good for my sister, Richland,” he said, chuckling.

“Hey,” I said, playfully shoving him back. “Not up to you.”

It was the movement of the bailiff stepping forward that freaked me out slightly, and my heart thundered in my chest as Axel never let go of my hand. “All rise for Judge Vincent,” said the bailiff, before returning to stand in his original position.

Yev sighed, smiling at us both before he moved back to stand with Dad.

Judge Vincent swept out from his chambers, moving to his chair and shuffling the paperwork he held before him. “Be seated,” he said, and waited until everyone was sitting. “Today we begin sentencing for Yevgeny Milkovich. Mr. Milkovich, you’ve pled no contest to the charge of assault and battery towards Terry Milkovich, your grandfather, a crime that was originally pinned on that of your sister, Iana Milkovich. Miss Milkovich has previously testified that she took the blame for the crime, not only due to her brother’s record, but because she believed that she had instigated the crime itself, and because she didn’t want to lose another member of her family. I am prepared to make a ruling on sentencing today. Will the defendant please rise?”

Yev got to his feet, and Dad stood beside him, squeezing onto his shoulder.

“The sentencing for the accused, Yevgeny Milkovich, will be as follows…”

. . .

The temperature change as I stepped through the airport at O’Hare was drastically different than it had been in Los Angeles the summer before. With Uncle Liam’s work taking him temporarily to New York, I had been trusted to stay at his apartment and use his car with Hailey for the duration of the summer. It didn’t matter to me that we were alone; in fact, it gave me ample opportunity to think things over, and good ways to go about presenting a certain someone with the paperwork that was wearing a hole in my carry-on bag.

I held tightly onto Hailey as we stepped outside into the cool, mid-September air, adjusting her jacket around her shoulders. Her head was placed in the space between my neck and chin, and I was reminded of myself doing so with Pops for so many years. I looked down at my phone, relief flowing through me when the text I’d been waiting for arrived and, looking up, saw my own car pulling into the pick up area.

“Hey, kiddo,” Pops said, pulling up curbside and getting out, letting my car idle for a moment as he embraced the both of us. “How was LA? You doing okay? Hailey okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah, napped for most of the plane trip both ways, thank god,” I joked, allowing him to take my suitcase and put it into the trunk of the car. I approached the back door, which I opened, and set Hailey in her carseat, relieved that she still fit after many months of being without it. I strapped her in and made sure she was comfortable before I kissed her forehead and shut the door, before climbing into the passenger seat and passaging my temples.

“Flight give you a headache?” Pops asked, getting in driver’s side and pulling the car along, easily filing into the line of traffic wishing to leave airport property.

I scoffed. “The last three months have given me a headache,” I replied. “Thought I was getting away from all the drama in South Side. Guess I was wrong.”

“It’s still early,” Pops replied, and I gazed at my dashboard clock, revealing the time to be just after six a.m. “Maybe the day’ll turn better.”

I rolled my eyes, leaning back against my seat. “I guess the main takeaway here is my hope that Hailey won’t remember this trip.”

Pops raised his eyebrows. “All of it?”

I laughed, shaking my head and turning to look at him. “Well, some of it I hope she remembers. I mean, I _had_ to take her to Disneyland, even though she really couldn’t do much out of my arms during the trip. I didn’t want to be one of those parents who walks around their kid like a goddamned pet…”

“How’d the paperwork go?”

I shrugged. “Can’t complain. Cost me a pretty penny to get the signature I wanted. But Andy’s a son of a bitch anyway. I had enough set aside from being COO at Nell’s Rags to pay the lump sum he wanted.”

“It was two years of tuition,” Pops said, shaking his head. “I’d say if he comes knocking after that, send Murphy or Nicholas after him.”

I smirked. “Not you?”

He shook his head. “Nah. I’m done with all that. Last thing you need is a father _and_ a brother locked up in the joint.”

My smirk was wiped off my face then, as I felt my entire body tense up. “How’s Yev been doing?” I asked. “I haven’t been as in touch. Wanted to be off the radar as much as possible, especially since Penny wouldn’t leave me alone about why I quit like that…”

“He understands that, Iana, don’t worry,” Pops said. “Things have been pretty quiet with him for the most part. All he does is sleep, eat, do his job at the diner, and spends as much time with Desmond as possible, who’s been very supportive. Thankfully, Murphy hasn’t made him disclose, since she owns the joint, and she’s promoted him to head waiter.”

I smiled. “Nepotism,” I muttered.

Pops sighed. “Look, Iana, I know you think you were doing the right thing by taking the rap for Yev last year, but…”

“I _did_ do the right thing, Pops,” I told him, my voice firm. “I’m not going to discuss this with you guys, Mom and Dad, or Uncle Ian again. I love you all, and I respect your opinion, but I did what I had to do. I provoked the damned situation, and I’m not proud of it, but, in the moment, I thought Yev needed to know the truth. That was the lack of meds talking, I know that now, but I hate that I let it get that far, I really do.”

“Still taking your meds?”

I nodded. “Haven’t stopped since the stint I had to do in the psych ward,” I said. “I’m not going to stop taking them again, unless there’s a better alternative out there. I’m bipolar, and I need my meds to keep me in check. I get it now.”

“Well, I’m just glad that Nicholas was willing to take Yev on as a client,” Pops said as we got onto the freeway. “He’s one of the best lawyers the State of Illinois has ever seen. If he doesn’t get Yev the deal of a lifetime, I don’t know who will.”

I felt my phone vibrate then and, upon taking it out, saw that I had a text from Axel. I found myself smiling and quickly replied to it, letting him know that I’d landed safely and would try to come by and see him later. “He’ll get him a good deal,” I assured Pops.

“Who are you texting?”

“What?” I asked, quickly putting my phone back into my pocket. “No one.”

“Iana.”

I sighed. “Fine. It’s Axel, okay?”

Pops raised his eyebrows. “Axel?”

I nodded. “Yeah. We’ve been talking.”

“Since when?”

“Since after I got to LA,” I replied, shrugging. “I needed someone to talk to who understood drama but wasn’t part of the family unit. Told him everything…”

His eyes widened. “Everything?”

I sighed. “Yeah. Even about Franny kicking Clark out a few weeks after the wedding,” I said, my voice soft. “Can’t believe that he could’ve been in on Yev’s arrest like that…”

Pops sighed. “I hope they can work it out. Ezra started calling him ‘Dad’.”

I rolled my eyes. “Hailey called Liam ‘Dad’,” I said bitterly, “or a baby’s equivalent of that, and look what happened.”

Pop’s hands tightened on my steering wheel. “You say the word, kiddo, and if you want that son of a bitch put through a wall…”

“Pops, no,” I said, my voice firm. “Like you said, the last thing I need is _both_ my father and my brother locked up in the joint.”

“This is different,” Pops said firmly. “This is about my daughter…”

I shook my head at him. “It’s not different,” I told him. “It doesn’t matter, because whatever Liam and I had is gone and done with. Not gonna happen again. Ever.”

. . .

Once I’d gotten Hailey settled back home, Mom, who was overwhelmed with seeing her only grandchild again after three months, pretty much told me to carry on with my dad. I raised my eyebrows at that; I’d carried on with no help with my daughter for several weeks, and it had been absolutely fine. However, Mom was quick to insist.

“Mom, really,” I said as I followed her downstairs, “it’s fine…”

Mom rolled her eyes at me. “Franny’s taking over at the diner today, so I’m free to watch my granddaughter,” she said, kissing my cheek as she walked into the kitchen.

I stammered, moving after her. “But, Mom…”

She turned around and looked at me with a smile. “Look, sweetheart, I’m not blind. I know that there must be a few things that you want to do today.”

I bit my lip, leaning back against the pillar beside the kitchen counter. “Well, I’ll need to go to Yev’s arraignment this afternoon. I’m driving him over.”

“Nicholas isn’t doing that?”

I shook my head, rolling my shoulders as I hopped up onto the counter, ignoring my mother’s slight look of disapproval. “No,” I replied. “Told him earlier that I’d be happy to do it. I’ve missed him over the summer, so…”

“You wouldn’t have had to miss him if you didn’t just suddenly disappear to LA for three months,” Mom said, shaking her head as she walked over to the fruit bowl, and tossed me a honeycrisp apple, my favorite.

I sighed, biting into the apple and savoring the taste. “Mom, it was just something I had to do,” I tell her, my mouth full.

“I had to hear from Penny of all people, after you took off from Franny’s wedding, that you’d quit your job as COO,” she replied, throwing her hands up in the air. “That was such a great job you had there, baby. Why’d you quit?”

I rolled my eyes. “Because I wasn’t qualified,” I replied.

“Well, are you going to do something about it?” she asked.

I grumbled under my breath, lifting up my ass so that I could take the envelope I’d put in my pocket just yesterday afternoon, and handed it over. “Does this look like I’m doing something about it?” I asked, watching as she unfolded it.

Mom gasped as she took in the first line of text on the page. “You applied to the business school at the University of Chicago?” she cried.

I laughed. “And got in,” I replied. “They accessed my SAT scores, plus they took my acceptance into Northwestern into account. They apparently got access to my essay, stating that my pregnancy with Hailey prevented me from attending. That, plus the SAT scores and transcripts from high school, helped. But what really sealed the deal was my three-month stint as COO of Nell’s Rags.”

Mom raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

I nodded. “I completed three successful deals while there, and of course I had to use it in my work history. Despite everything that we’ve been through, Penny gave me a glowing recommendation, so the school is taking me on. Since I’ve got Hailey, though, and have to work, they’ve created a special program for me to be online-based. The only times I have to go in are meetings with my professors, if necessary, as well as academic advisors. And then there’s certain exams I’ll have to take on campus and so forth, plus graduation, when the time comes but, other than that, I can take classes at home.”

“So, you’re going to college, then?”

I smiled. “Yeah, I am,” I replied.

“And Hailey?” she asked. “I’m happy to help however I can, but I still have my obligation to certain cases, and Patsy’s…”

“Actually, that’s the thing,” I replied. “Penny actually got in touch with this really great daycare on my behalf, back when I was working for her. I was able to communicate enough with the people who work there that she made sure my spot hadn’t been given away over the summer. I will be putting Hailey there for a few hours during the week. She’ll get social time with other children her age, plus it’s an advanced program that prepares the child for preschool. I took a virtual tour online and it’s amazing.”

“So, Hailey’s enrolled in the program?”

I nodded. “Yeah, she is. And Penny paid for the entire thing, up until she’s three, by which time she’ll likely move onto a preschool. I got in touch with Lacey, and although she was annoyed at first at being used as a go-between, she was happy to fill in the blanks for me.”

Mom sighed, leaning back up against the counter. “I just want to understand what went wrong with the entire thing, baby,” she said softly. “I mean, I know you’re eighteen and allowed to live life how you see fit, but I worry. You gave up a great-paying job and you haven’t given anyone a reason for it yet, much less why you ran off over the summer.”

I sighed, crossing my arms. “It’s complicated.”

She nodded. “Try me.”

“Axel and I broke up just before the wedding,” I replied, and she sighed, but otherwise didn’t comment overtly about my relationship status. “He told me that he knew that there was something between me and Liam, but the way he said it… I don’t know, it was different this time around. He didn’t try to accuse me of anything; he just laid out the cards and explained it from his point of view. And I realized he was right.”

She blinked. “You did?”

I nodded. “I did,” I said quietly.

“What did you do then?”

“Went to see Liam,” I told her, bringing up one foot so that it rested on the counter, and collided with my chest. “I went to see Liam, but there wasn’t much talking involved. I said my brief piece and then we slept together.”

Mom looked confused. “So, are you with Liam now?” she asked. “I’m sorry, I’m just lost. Is that why you quit Nell’s Rags? Because Penny has a thing about you dating Liam? Does she think you’re not good enough or something, or is it a conflict of interest because he’s her brother? Is there a no dating family members policy?”

I shook my head. “No. No, it was nothing like that.”

“Well, then I’m lost, honey,” she replied, and I slowly raised my eyes to hers. “I think you’re going to have to spell it out for it.”

I sighed, looking away from her then. “He sent me away,” I replied, my voice hitching a little bit at the end. “Look, I thought I was over it, but I guess I’m not…” My eyes flooded with tears then as I covered up my face. “Fuck, I really thought we had something. All these hints over the past year that he’s been dropping about me not being with Axel, and alluding to the fact that he wanted me with him…”

“Oh, honey,” Mom said, moving forward then and putting her arms carefully around me. “It’s all okay, baby…”

Instead of pushing her away, or reacting with fright as I normally would’ve done at being caught unawares by a touch of any kind, I found myself clinging to her. “I don’t understand it. He kept saying all these things, but maybe Liam just didn’t want me with Axel because he didn’t want me to be with anyone, not even him…”

“Did he give you any specific reason?” she asked.

“Why?” I demanded then, pulling back. “You mean, before he threw me out of his penthouse like I was a piece of trash?”

Her eyes flashed then. “He didn’t.”

I nodded. “He did.”

“Son of a bitch,” she whispered, her hands curling into fists. “I’ll kill him.”

“Don’t,” I replied, my voice breaking then as I managed to form the word. “Don’t. Let’s just forget about it. That’s what I’ve been trying to do all summer, forget. Forget about the drama that I’ve successfully managed to constantly put myself in. Of course, my reasons for going to LA didn’t include taking Hailey to Disneyland.”

Mom raised an eyebrow. “You did take her, though, right?”

I nodded. “Of course I took her.”

“Then, what was the real purpose of the trip? Was it just to get away? I know you stayed at my brother’s place, Iana, and don’t even try to hide it. Your uncle Liam may be married to his work, sweetheart, but we still talk, because we’re family.”

I dragged my hand over my face. “I did stay at his place. He left me the car, too,” I said, and felt a chuckle escaping my lips. “But I had some business to attend to over there. Dad helped me draw up the paperwork.”

She blinked. “Wait. So it was a legal thing?”

I nodded. “Exactly.”

“What kind of legal thing?”

I raised my eyes to hers. “A termination of parental rights,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders. “I just wanted to keep all my ducks in a row, to make sure Andy and his family couldn’t claim rights over Hailey, because she’s mine.”

“Oh, jesus,” she replied, shaking her head. “Are you okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah. He met Hailey, said she was cute, but there didn’t seem to be any kind of bond between them. So, he signed on the dotted line.”

“He must’ve wanted something in return…”

I scoffed then, laughing bitterly. “Yeah. Costed me a few thousand dollars to pay for the final two years of his college, so that he could get his Bachelor’s Degree without going into debt. But it was worth it, in the end,” I replied. “Now, none of his family and come after what’s mine. The document’s legal, and I gave it to Dad before he left for work this morning. He’s likely filing it as we speak.”

“Wait. What about during the summer, before it was filed?”

“I lied and said I filed it immediately,” I replied, shrugging. “What Andy doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Besides, he’s got no claim to Hailey. As far as I know, it was just a donation. Hailey’s my daughter, and nobody else’s.”

. . .

I stepped outside a few hours later, the September sun warm on my arms as I walked down the stairs and made my way towards my car. I looked up and saw Yev coming out of the house, and smiled at his outfit choice that day. I’d bought him a suit the spring before, when I was flush with cash, and he’d decided to wear it for his arraignment that day. I myself wore a blouse and suit pants, and as I approached him then, there was little hesitation as I threw my arms around him as we stood in the middle of the street.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” I replied. “How are you doing? Okay?”

“Can’t complain,” he replied, pulling back and looking down at me. “You?”

I sighed. “Told Mom about the acceptance, and my plans about Hailey.”

“Did you ask her to give you your old job back?”

I shook my head. “No. I told her about what happened with Liam, though, and why I needed to quit Nell’s Rags. Let’s just say it’s enough now.”

Yev nodded. “I can understand that,” he replied, looking past me to my car. “We’d better get to the courthouse, then.”

“No problem. Dad should already be waiting,” I said, smiling at him.

We got into my car and headed directly to the courthouse, parking in the lot and going towards the staircase. I hesitated for a moment, remembering Mom telling me that she had, many years ago now, told Uncle Ian that he was her brother on that very spot. I smiled to myself, thinking about how far we’d come as a family, and even though Mom hadn’t known yet, I was there for the entire conversation. I pushed the thought from my mind as we stepped through the main doors, and stopped for a moment.

“What’s wrong?” Yev asked.

“That’s where we stood, right there,” I said, pointing to the doors far off down the hallway, leading into one of the courtrooms, “when Mom was Pops’s lawyer, and she was going to defend him to get the charges dropped.”

Yev smiled. “You were nine then, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah.” I smiled then as I leaned back, and Yev put an arm around my shoulders. “Her and Pops wanted a moment alone, and so Uncle Ian took me into the courtroom. I just remember sitting there, until they came in. That’s before I hated courtrooms…”

“Too much shit has happened to you, Iana,” Yev said, and I turned and looked up at him. “I’m sorry I couldn’t have been there to help.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry, too. But I think we came into each other’s lives when we needed the other the most. You didn’t have a direction, and I was feeling overwhelmed with new motherhood. All I know is, I wouldn’t change it for anything, and I’m glad I’ve got my brother back.”

Yev sighed. “We never know. You said yourself that Judge Whitmore hung up his robes last spring, before my arrest. How do we know the verdict will be in our favor, now that we don’t have the judge in our back pockets?”

“You don’t,” Dad said, and we turned around at the same time as he stepped forward. “Just got word that the judge in your case is Bob Vincent. Between you and me, Yev, he’s a hard-ass, but maybe he’ll take mitigating circumstances into account.”

Yev’s brow puckered as he lowered his eyes to mine. “In English?” he asked.

I smirked up at him, and gently swatted his arm. “Essentially, Yev, it means that Dad is hoping that Judge Vincent will think about your lifestyle and upbringing to the point in time that the assault was committed.”

“In a nutshell, yes,” Dad said, as Yev turned back to look at him. “Basically, we’re going to tell Judge Vincent that, based on your mother’s rejection of you, you were predisposed to enter a life of crime, because you didn’t have any kind of family structure to speak off. In an essence, you were left to fend for yourself, without any form of guidance whatsoever.”

Yev raised his eyebrows. “That’s actually true,” he said, crossing his arms. “Man, I thought lawyers were supposed to make up sob stories about their clients, but one look in my files, and you’ll see pretty much everything you just said.”

“That’s why I’m good at my job, Yev,” Dad says, clapping Yev on the shoulder. “Plus, you mean a lot to Iana, and you’re family. I think of you like one of my own,” he said, and Yev smiled at that notion. “All I know is that we have to go in there and tell the truth. And even though you’re going to be arraigned today, it doesn’t mean you’ll go to jail. You’ve kept up responsibilities since Iana bailed you out in June, by keeping your job and not breaking any laws. As far as I can tell, son, we’re in the clear for your bail to continue.”

“Not like your a flight risk,” I joked. “Besides, all the countries that don’t extradite you back here, you need a passport for.”

Yev grinned. “I don’t even have a passport.”

Dad snapped his fingers. “Okay, so you’re officially not a flight risk,” he said, and we all looked up as a door opened, and the bailiff stood on the threshold of the courtroom, and nodded to the three of us, and we all stood there, for maybe half a moment, wondering who was going to make the first move.

. . .

I was relieved that Judge Vincent permitted Yev’s bail to continue, now that the arraignment was complete, and we said goodbye to Dad so that he could return to the firm. I drove back in the direction of our neighborhood, slapping my palms against the steering wheel to pass the time, with Yev just laughing beside me. I caught him staring at me more than once throughout the drive, to the point where I finally just turned and looked at him.

“What?” I asked.

“So, you’ve been talking to Axel all summer?”

I nodded, coming to a stop in front of a red light. “That’s right,” I replied.

Yev mulled that over for a minute. “How’s that going?”

I shrugged. “Can’t complain.”

“Think you’re going to get back together?”

“Eh,” I replied. “There’s something there still, I think, but that could all change once I see him again,” I said, my voice quiet as I pulled through the intersection as the light turned green. “I mean, I’m still attracted to him, sure, but…”

“But what?”

I sighed. “I know Liam’s an impossibility, okay?” I said, pulling down our street. “Just don’t rub it in. That’s all I ask.”

Yev sighed. “Stop the car.”

“What?” I asked, suddenly breaking to a halt in the middle of the street. “Why? Our houses are still four blocks from here…”

“I can walk back, thank you,” Yev said, squeezing my shoulder as he unbuckled his seatbelt. “I know the way, and you need to make up your mind.”

I blinked, watching as he opened the passenger door. “Make up my mind?”

He nodded, hopping out of the car and flashing me a grin. “Go get your man.”

I shook my head. “I don’t need a man.”

“No, of course you don’t _need_ a man,” he replied, “but you’re allowed to want one. Now, I’ve got to go and call my man because I’m still free. Go forth and get your man,” he went on, getting his phone out of his pocket, “while I get mine.”

I flipped him off as he slammed the door behind himself, and I worked double time to find the nearest driveway to turn around in. Once that feat was accomplished, I drove back up the street, somehow managing to make every light on the way to my destination. I swallowed then as I parked outside of it, straightening my shoulders as I got out of the car, and made my way towards the lobby area and the elevator.

Once I’d reached the correct floor, I suddenly realized that I had no idea if he was home, so I just decided to wing it. I walked down the hallway and knocked on the door, wondering if a scantily clad woman would be on the other side of it. However, I felt my breath hitch in my throat as it opened in front of me.

“Hey,” Axel said, slightly surprised. “So, you’re really back.”

I nodded. “Told you via text that I was.”

He nodded. “Right… Wanna come in?”

“Sure,” I said, walking past him and into his apartment. I hesitated for a moment before I turned around and faced him, just as he shut the door behind me. “Look, I’m just going to spell it out for you, okay?”

He crossed his arms. “Okay.”

“I don’t know what this is,” I said, gesturing between us, “but I still have feelings for you. And if you want to try and make it work, then I’d be open to that, because this summer was complete hell, and I need you in my life, Axel, I really do…”

Axel came forward then and yanked me into his arms, his mouth finding mine quickly, and I felt a small sigh escape my lips as they met. He smiled then, though the kiss, as he slowly pulled back and away from me, cupping my face in his hand. “I’m glad you’re back,” he said.

I laughed. “Back in Chicago?” I asked.

“Yeah, and no,” he said. “Back in my arms.”

I scoffed, shoving him away from me. “God, you’re so fucking cheesy!”

He grinned. “Just the way you like me.”

“You’re disgusting,” I said, laughter escaping my throat as he dragged me back, so that I was pressed full-length against him. “So disgusting…”

He smiled, putting his forehead against mine. “So, what does this mean?”

I wetted my lips then, considering it. “I think we just make it up as we go along, play by our own rules… Didn’t stop us before,” I said, shrugging.

He nodded. “I can live with that,” he said, leaning down and kissing me again.


	2. Poker Face

I took Yev with me in the car to drop off Hailey at her first day of her daycare program, and she was excited to get to know more children her own age. As I drove with Yev to the diner, I felt a little more at ease that I’d done the day before. Now that I was getting acquainted with Chicago time, I would do my best to do right by my daughter, and would continue to do so, now that I had a firmer plan in place.

“Talk to your mom yet?”

I sighed, pulling to a stop in front of a traffic light a few blocks from Patsy’s. “Yeah, I guess,” I replied, checking myself in the mirror, and grimacing slightly that the scar from my almost car accident, the one on my left cheek, was still there, and likely would remain there. “Just think that she’ll give it back to me…”

“Your job?”

I nodded, nibbling slightly on my lower lip. “Yeah.”

Yev grinned. “You haven’t discussed it with her, have you?”

I grumbled under my breath, both hating and loving that Yev knew me so well. “Maybe we haven’t touched on that subject, no…” I muttered, pulling through the intersection.

“Ah-ha!” Yev said, clapping his hands. “So, what were you up to yesterday, after I decided to call up Desmond?”

I shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Well, clearly Murphy was getting in some bonding time with Hailey, which left you to do the devil’s tango with Axel for hours on end…”

“Would you shut the fuck up?!” I cried out, pulling into the parking lot at Patsy’s and putting myself into my old space. “Nothing happened. Axel and I are keeping our distance…”

Yev cocked an eyebrow. “Meaning?”

“Meaning that our relationship is strictly PG-13 for the time being,” I said, switching off my car and moving to get out.

“So… No hand stuff then?”

“Jesus Christ, Yev!” I said, tossing my apron at him, which he caught expertly, laughing as he tossed it back to me. “You’re disgusting!”

“I’m a Milkovich,” Yev replied, opening the employee door of the diner, “just like you. Just because your panties are in a twist doesn’t mean mine have to be.”

“Hey, Franny,” I said, stepping inside the employee locker room area and tying my apron in place, before piling my hair on top of my head in a presentable ponytail. “How’s Mom this morning?”

Franny smirked at me, crossing her arms. “She knows you’re coming in, don’t worry,” she said, leaning back up against her locker. “She know about your tattoos yet?”

“Which one?” I asked, shrugging my shoulders.

“Well, I remember her blowing a gasket about the sleeve,” Franny said.

“Not to mention the fact that she was annoyed that you told me first about the heart on your left rib cage,” Yev put in.

“Yeah, I was annoyed, too,” Franny muttered.

“She knows about those,” I said softly.

Yev raised his eyebrows. “Oh, really?”

“So, she doesn’t know about the heart-shaped lock and the key on your upper legs?” Franny demanded of me then, looking from me to the direction of Mom’s office and back again. “That is four tattoos, Iana, and you’re not even twenty-one yet!”

“Hey, no judging my sister,” Yev said.

Franny sighed and turned back to Yev. “Clark keeps telling me he had nothing to do with your arrest at the wedding,” she said, obviously torn between Yev and her husband. “Can you please stop trying to bring it into any given situation? And we’re at work of all places, Yev! We have got to be professional here!”

“Me bring it up? You’re the one who…”

“Enough,” I said, moving to stand in between them before it got too heated. “That’s enough from both of you. I know this situation is fucking hard, but we’re fucking family. Families can’t go on like this. Yev, I know you’re angry and you’ve got every right to be, but the problem is, we have no definitive proof that Clark gave them the tip off.”

Yev crossed his arms. “Yeah, other than the fact that he’s a cop, who obviously didn’t trust me from the time I walked into all your lives…”

“Hey, now wait a minute…”

“Franny, no,” I said, turning to face my cousin. “I know that you love your husband, and nobody is asking you not to here. I know it’s a touchy subject; fuck, it would be for anyone. But let’s not try to lose our heads here.”

Franny lowered her eyes. “Clark accused me of fucking Yev,” she said quietly, and I whipped my head around to Yev, who looked decidedly horrified. “He thinks that’s why I wouldn’t just believe him when he said he didn’t have him arrested…”

“He knows about Desmond, right?” Yev asks. “I mean, he was my fucking date to your fucking wedding… What else does he take me for? He’s seen me make out with him plenty of times. I mean, what does he want me to do? Fuck Desmond in front of him?”

“Okay, this isn’t work appropriate,” Mom says, breezing into the room. “Hi, sweetheart,” she says briefly to me before looking from Franny to Yev. “Look, you two, I know shit’s been fucking hard over this last summer. It has been for all of us. But I suggest the two of you leave it outside Patsy’s, and focus on work. Then, after your shifts, if you want to kill each other, be my guest, but make it look like an accident. All right?”

Franny sighs. “Got it.”

Yev nods. “Loud and clear, boss.”

“Great,” Mom says, looking back at me. “Let’s go and talk for a minute, okay?”

I nodded. “Sure,” I said, giving both Franny and Yev looks as I walked by, walking after Mom and back into her office. “I was trying to referee them…”

“Gallagher’s and Milkovich’s are impossible together,” Mom says, shutting the office door behind me and smiling. “Luckily you got both genes. You’re the only one that can really speak both their languages.”

I laughed. “Don’t know about that, but thank you.”

She nodded. “So, I see your hair is in place and your apron is on. I take it that means you’d like to come back to work?”

I sighed. “Yeah,” I replied. “Tips are amazing, to be honest, and I need something to buy everything Hailey needs. And I don’t expect you to just rehire me at my old position. I’m sure someone else has come in who…”

“We still haven’t found the right person yet,” Mom said gently, and I raised my eyebrows. “The assistant manager position is still yours, honey.”

I sighed, filled with relief. “Thanks,” I replied.

She nodded. “You’re welcome. Now, get your ass out there and start taking orders,” she tells me, a grin on her face.

I salute her. “You got it, boss,” I said, and walked out of her office with more of a spring to my step than I’d had in a long time.

. . .

Despite the notion that I could easily run into Penny, Liam, Lacey, or anyone else associated with the Kennedy family or Nell’s Rags, I knew that cutting Hailey off from Uncle Lip, Aunt Mandy, and Baby Ronan wouldn’t be a good course of action. The next time we all had days off, I drove over to the apartment building and rode up o the correct floor, relieved that I didn’t run into anyone from my past. I knocked on the door and Uncle Lip promptly let the two of us inside, giving us a big hug before gesturing that we were free to walk into the living room where Aunt Mandy was sitting on the couch with Ronan.

“Hey,” I said, sitting beside them and moving Hailey so that she could sit on the couch and inspect Ronan to her liking. “How’s everything going?”

Aunt Mandy grinned. “Well, we’re actually sleeping.”

“Yeah?” I asked, turning to Uncle Lip, who stepped into the living room and sat down on the arm of the couch behind Aunt Mandy.

“Oh, yeah,” Uncle Lip said, leaning down and kissing Aunt Mandy on the cheek. “Hopefully we’ve still got it in us to give Ronan a sister.”

“Hey!” Aunt Mandy said, playfully swatting him on the arm. “Not in front of Hailey!”

“Ronan sister!” Hailey chanted, clapping her hands.

Aunt Mandy glared at Uncle Lip. “Now you’ve done it,” she said.

“Well, you look great,” I told her, smiling when she handed over Ronan to me without hesitation, who stared up at me with those dark eyes of his. “Hello, my sweet little man,” I said, pressing a kiss on his forehead. “Are you happy that Cousin Iana brought Hailey to see you? Yeah, I’m sure you are!” I gushed.

“Why do women turn into puddles whenever there’s a baby around?” Uncle Lip asked, visibly smirking in amusement as Hailey crawled into Aunt Mandy’s lap. “I just don’t get it…”

“Oh, really?” Aunt Mandy said, scooping up Hailey and turning around, whereupon she positioned her right in front of Uncle Lip’s face. “Say hi to your niece, Lip!”

Uncle Lip, who had crossed his arms, quickly turned to jelly as soon as Hailey reached out her arms to him, and promptly took up Hailey into them. “Hi there,” he said, obviously trying to keep it cool around her.

“Lip, Lip, Lip!” Hailey cried out, clapping her hands. “Hailey loves Lip!”

Uncle Lip smiled down at Hailey, only to feel our eyes on him, whereupon he looked up, and quickly spotted the lovey-dovey looks that Aunt Mandy and I were giving him. “You can both fuck yourselves,” he said quickly, but thankfully, Hailey was plenty distracted.

Aunt Mandy rolled her eyes, turning back to me. “Wanna feed him?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” I replied.

Aunt Mandy grinned, getting to her feet. “I’ll go warm up his bottle. Mind holding him while I go and do that?”

I shook my head. “No, of course not.”

After Aunt Mandy stepped into the kitchen, Uncle Lip turned and looked down at me, still keeping a good grip on Hailey. “How’s Yev holding up?”

I sighed. “He says he’s fine,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “Part of me is glad that Mom let us have matching schedules while the trial is going on, but…”

Uncle Lip surveyed my expression. “But?”

I shrugged, bringing a slightly squirming Ronan close to me so that I could kiss his forehead again, and he immediately soothed in my arms. “I just feel like he’s keeping his emotions in check, like we all have to do,” I said quietly.

“Was it really your idea?”

I raised my eyes to his. “What?”

“When Terry got that beat-down, which was plenty deserved, because I know that it was done for Mandy, too,” Uncle Lip said quickly. “But… Did you tell Yev to run, or did he just beg you to take the blame…?”

I gritted my teeth, doing my best to hold my temper with him. “I know what it looks like, him having a felony record, and me just having that insanity defense on my record,” I said. “But it was really me, Uncle Lip. It was a snap decision, all of it, but I really told Yev to run, because I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. I knew that since I was still seventeen, and since my dad is who he is, and I had being bipolar on my side…” I sighed, leaning back up against the couch and shaking my head. “Guess it just seemed like the right thing to do. I’ve had a lot of shit happen to me, which you know, and so I guess you could say I didn’t want some other member of my family taken away from me…”

“Nobody’s going anywhere, Iana.”

I shook my head at him. “You don’t know that.”

“I know that Nicholas will fight tooth and nail to keep Yev from going to prison. He loves your brother, too, Iana, and he’s family. They’re all family. Fuck, he’s my nephew, Iana, screw the ‘by marriage’ part of it. He’s my fucking nephew. He’ll need all of us right now, but he’ll especially need you, because the two of you, and Mickey, too, you’re all something special together. You just understand the two of them better than anyone.”

“Except Ian,” Aunt Mandy said quietly, stepping back into the living room and handing over the warmed bottle, and a towel, which I placed in Ronan’s mouth and over my shoulder respectively as she returned to the couch. Aunt Mandy put an arm around my shoulders, watching me as I fed her son. “You’re special, too, Iana. You’re family. Don’t forget that.”

I nodded, turning and looking up at her with a smile. “I won’t,” I replied.

. . .

It was such a pleasant visit with Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy, so much so that I didn’t want any of it to end. However, after we’d eaten dinner there, I thought we’d more than overstayed our welcome, as Hailey was clearly tired after the eventful afternoon. I wrapped her up in the pink blanket that I’d brought with us, and waved goodbye to my aunt and uncle as we stepped out into the hallway, my daughter’s head resting on my shoulder. As I walked over to the elevator and pressed the button, I took a moment to look down at her, and felt myself warm automatically when I saw how her dark lashes swept her pale cheeks. I pressed a kiss to her forehead as the doors dinged open, and I stepped inside, pressing the ground floor button to take us both back to my car, and towards home.

Once the doors opened and I was free to move out of there, I stepped into the lobby of the building and very nearly stopped dead in my tracks. My mouth went dry then as I spotted Liam walking towards me, and his expression was one of shock as well. I swallowed then, not knowing what to do or what to say, but that was again decided for me, all by Liam, who always seemed to think that he knew best.

“Iana,” he said then, as he stepped closer to me, his silvery eyes taking me in fully. In the three months since everything had happened, he looked no different, but I knew just how different I truly was. “How are you?”

“Fine,” I replied, my tone clipped. I was different, completely; inexplicably, I’d grown two inches taller over the summer, putting me at five-feet-seven inches, and, since I’d stopped breastfeeding, my breasts had gone up an entire cup size. My hair was longer, and my hips had changed ever since Hailey’s birth. I wasn’t just different on the outside; no, on the inside, my wall had returned, and everything was different.

“How was your summer?” he asked.

I swallowed, doing my best to keep my responses to a minimum. “Eventful,” I said, knowing that he’d be annoyed if I used the same word time after time.

“Heard you were in California,” he said.

I shrugged. “How’d you know that?”

“Yev told me, before he called me a ‘fucking asshole’ and to leave you alone,” he said, and I did my best to hold my smirk at bay, pleased that he’d gone to bat for me. “I’m sorry about his arrest at Clark and Franny’s wedding. He doesn’t deserve that.”

I blinked. “What do you know about what my brother deserves?”

“I know that, even though he may have committed the crime they’re accusing him of, doesn’t mean he has to be locked up for twenty years because of it. I know how close the two of you are, Iana, I’m not blind. You’d both do anything for family, and it’s good that he’s got all of you in his corner to help out.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, well, we do that in my family, help each other out. Another thing we do is listen to one another, and listening means you don’t have one-sided conversations. One-sided conversations mean that the other person automatically holds all the cards. That’s not how I want to live my life, Liam,” I said, and moved to walk away from him.

“You’re right,” he said, and I shut my eyes, his words effectively rendering me to stop walking, but I made no move to turn back around to face him. “That day… Everything was all over the place, Iana. You’ve got to believe that. One minute you’re trying to make shit work with Axel, and the next minute, you’re throwing yourself at me. What was I supposed to think?”

I scoffed, turning around then and facing him. “You’re not supposed to think you can pin the entire situation on me,” I shot back, doing my best to keep my voice down, lest Hailey wake up and see who I was talking to.

Liam sighed. “You’re right, I’m sorry…”

“Sorry for what?” I demanded, staring up at him. “Sorry for running into me here tonight? Sorry for blaming every little thing between us on me? Or sorry for ruining everything between us forever, because I can never trust myself around you again because of what you said to me that day that I walked out of your life?!” I cried out.

Liam’s mouth fell open then to defend himself. “All of it,” he said quietly then. “All of it, Iana, but there are things in life, in my life, that you can’t even begin to understand…”

“I think you made it very, very clear,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “You just don’t do relationships, and it was very stupid of me to try and change that. I’m sorry,” I said, my tone bitter, so that he knew just how not sorry I was.

He shook his head. “Iana, you don’t…”

“Liam,” said a lyrical voice from behind me then, and I turned, just in time to see a woman about an inch and a half taller than me, with breasts that were double my size, curves to die for, and legs that never ended come forward. She wore a casual gold wrap dress with matching heels, which clicked on the highly-polished tile floor as smiled with delight at Liam, her chocolate brown eyes quite a shock to her rosy skin and her flowing blonde hair, her lips a perfect pout as she moved to stand beside Liam, circling her arm around his waist before turning to me, her smile meeting her eyes when she saw me. “Oh, hello!” she said, her accent thick, and I knew straight away that it was Italian. “I’m Illiana,” she said, putting out a perfectly manicured hand and a genuine air of politeness. “Illiana Valeria Spencer. I haven’t met many of Liam’s friends yet. Pleased to meet you.”

I knew that reaching out automatically and taking her hand would have been expected of me, had I still worked at Nell’s Rags but it was clear that I no longer owed the Kennedy family a thing, so I ignored her hand and attempted to also ignore her beauty, which was like an unexpected punch to the face. “Iana Milkovich,” I replied, my tone thick and heavy, due to the fact that I was caught unawares.

“Oh, is this your daughter?” Illiana gushed, stepping closer, but not touching, me or Hailey, but did her best to peer around the blanket at my daughter. “She’s beautiful! You must be so proud to have such a lovely daughter like that!”

I smiled tightly. “I’m much more concerned about her happiness, as well as her intelligence, Illiana, for those attributes will take her further than just beauty.”

Illiana nodded. “Oh, yes, of course,” she said quickly. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Iana. I’ve heard much about you from Penny.”

I nodded. “I’m sure you have.”

“Liam said you were one of her closest friends, and were COO of Nell’s Rags for a few months, and even visited my native Italy on one occasion,” she went on.

I gritted my teeth, knowing that Illiana gave me no just cause not to be polite towards her. “I did visit Italy, yeah,” I said. “It was beautiful.”

“Which is probably why Liam visited there over the summer,” she went on. “My father and Liam are business associates, so when I had to oversee one of my father’s meetings on his behalf, Liam was very pleased to meet me.”

I did my best not to sway on my feet then as Illiana tucked a stray blonde hair behind her ear with her left hand, a giant, pink diamond glowing on her ring finger. “Um… That’s a lovely ring you’ve got there, Illiana,” I said, and Liam shut his eyes on a wave of what I thought just had to be discomfort.

“This?” Illiana asked, flashing her perfectly white teeth as she gazed at the ring for a moment. “It was quite a shock when Liam presented it to me a week ago, before he left Italy. He said he couldn’t stand not to bring me back to America with him, and so of course I said I would go, once he asked me to be his wife.”

I found I was struggling not to vomit then, due to the fact that I was holding onto Hailey, and would likely wake her with my retching. “Congratulations,” I managed to get out. “When will the big day be?”

“June, in New York, at The Plaza,” she replied, and I did my best not to roll my eyes at the notion that her father and the Kennedy family likely had connections to pull off such a quick date for their wedding.

I nodded, my eyes sliding over to Liam. “Glad you’ve found happiness, Liam Kennedy,” I said then, doing my best to keep right on smiling. “Have a nice life.”

I turned on my heel then, walking out of the apartment building and directly towards my car at a fast pace, unknowing if Liam would disengage himself from Illiana in an effort to speak to me. I strapped Hailey into her car seat, my tears blinding me slightly then as I felt my entire body shaking as I got myself into the car. I drove directly home then, my muffled sobs thankfully not waking up Hailey then as I drove back across town. Instead of going inside the house and throwing myself onto my bed and crying, I held it together long enough to grab Hailey and walk across the street, merely stepping inside the house and spotting Yev and Desmond.

“Where’s Pops? I need him,” I said, my voice a monotone as I handed over Hailey to Yev without much explanation.

“Kitchen,” Yev replied, pointing.

“Right,” I said, walking through to the kitchen, spotting that the back door was open, and walked outside to see Pops with a cigarette. I stepped towards him then, and he swiveled his head to look at me, before I reached out and took the cigarette from him and puffed on it myself.

“Jesus. What happened to you, kid?”

I sighed, taking the cigarette out of my mouth. “Everything.”

“Yeah?” he asked. “Wanna talk about it?”

I bit my lip then, knowing that, no matter how much I loved Pops, and no matter how much he loved me, I knew there was only one person that could truly understand my pain. “I do, but I think I need Uncle Ian for this one…”

Pops nodded. “He’s upstairs.”

I smiled, handing back the cigarette and kissing him on the cheek. “Thanks,” I said, stepping back inside and heading for the stairs. As I walked up, I sighed, knowing that Uncle Ian was the best person to talk to about this. “Uncle Ian?” I called, getting to the top of the stairs and felt relieved when he stepped out of the master bedroom, already changed back into his street clothes after getting off work.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, stepping forward. “Everything okay?”

I shook my head, the tears threatening to bubble up again. “No.”

He nodded. “Okay,” he said, walking up to me and placing his hands on my shoulders. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

I gritted my teeth then, spotting the baseball bat just a few feet away, and turned back to look up at him. “Can I slam that into the wall a few times?”

Uncle Ian nodded. “Go ahead.”

I sighed, crossing over to it and making a grab for it, a guttural scream cutting through my lips then as I swung it over and over into the wall, splintering the wood beneath what was left of the crummy wallpaper. I dropped the bat after a solid two minutes, my entire body shaking with a combination of devastation and rage. “Fuck,” I whispered.

“Ready to talk?”

I turned and looked at him over my shoulder again, sighing as tears escaped my eyes and flowed down my face, no longer making an effort to stop them. “Liam’s getting married,” I said then, and Uncle Ian looked shocked. “She’s a millionaire’s daughter from Italy and she’s beautiful and perfect and doesn’t come with a kid…” I bit my lip then, leaning up against the wall that I’d successfully managed to damage so that it resembled my soul. “Fuck… I am tired of feeling this way… Life was so much better when I could just shut off…”

“No, it wasn’t,” Uncle Ian said, his tone gentle as I looked up at him. “No, it wasn’t. And do you know why? Because you miss out on a lot of shit that way, Iana.”

I shook my head. “But I didn’t get hurt.”

“Getting hurt’s part of the process.”

Pops came up the stairs then, and took a good look at the wall. “Jesus Christ. What happened up here?” he asked, surveying the damage and spotting the bat was very close to one of my hands before he looked up at Uncle Ian. “She okay?”

Uncle Ian sighed. “She’s having a moment,” he replied.

Pops eyes snapped to mine before he turned back to Uncle Ian. “Somebody wanna tell me what’s going on here?” he asked. “Is my husband going to tell me, or is my daughter?”

I bit my lip then, lowering my eyes. “Liam’s engaged,” I said quietly.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Pops demanded.

“Mick,” Uncle Ian said, his tone firm.

“Why would she go to you with this, Ian? She’s my kid!” he shouted, and I placed my head into my hands at that.

“I never said she wasn’t your kid, Mick!” Uncle Ian said, growing annoyed. “Iana clearly felt that I was more equipped to handle this!”

“Why? She’s _my_ daughter, Ian! She tells me everything—!”

“It’s because Uncle Ian is better equipped to understand this shit, Pops!” I screamed then, turning to look over at him, and he looked shocked at my fiery attitude. “He was absolutely destroyed when you married Svetlana, but I hope to Christ you know that already. Uncle Ian knows what it’s like to have someone close to you potentially being happy with someone else. I don’t understand this feeling as much as the next guy, but having the person you care about just being torn away from you forever… It’s so fucked,” I whispered. “So fucked that I’m officially at the point where I can’t see straight.”

Pops fixed his eyes on me then. “Can you literally not see, or…?”

I bit my lip then, knowing that I had to say something about it. “It comes in waves,” I admitted then, feeling terrible that I hadn’t addressed the problem. “But I’ve been getting these headaches and I just can’t… My vision is going or something,” I said with a shrug.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Uncle Ian asked.

I sighed, my shoulders deflating then. “I mean that, I think, without an optometrist in my future, I could stand to go blind, worst case scenario,” I reply, and turn from Pops to Uncle Ian, and found that, for once, I was unaware of what I was supposed to do.


	3. Third Time’s The Charm

The fact that my vision had been spotty at best had begun to plague me just after Yev’s arrest, and after I’d bailed him out. I’d gotten on the plane with Hailey to Los Angeles as scheduled, and, once my daughter fell asleep, the pounding in my head began as we took off. I did my best to ignore it throughout the summer, as Andy signed the documentation, and initially chalked it up to the family drama I’d left behind, plus the legality of issues I’d likely find myself in if Andy was aware of the full truth behind the paperwork, and that I hadn’t filed it until returning home. I knew that it was dangerous to keep going on like I’d been, given that I had a job and a daughter to take care of, both of which needed me to see, so I did what I did best and headed out to an optometrist, the same one that Dad saw.

“What seems to be the problem, Iana?” Dr. Schumann asked, smiling at me as she came into the exam room.

“Honesty? My vision seems to be failing,” I replied, as she stepped forward and pulled the looking glass thing towards me.

“Well, let’s see what happens when you look through this,” she said, gently pushing it towards my face so that it fit. “Read the smallest row you can.”

“V, C, J, P, B, M, U, T, X,” I said without hesitation.

“Very good,” Dr. Schumann replied. “I think it must do with the stress you’ve been having recently in your life,” she said, pulling back the looking glass, and when I stared at her, she gave me a smile. “My wife and I are clients and old friends of your father’s. Trust me when I say this, Iana, that we know your full story.”

I leaned back against the seat. “So, you know that I have a baby?”

She nodded. “Of course. Hailey will be two in January.”

My brows knit together then. “And you know that Nicholas Blomqvist is not my biological father?” I asked.

Dr. Schumann smiled. “Yes, I am aware that he adopted you when you were three, after he married your mother, shortly before the birth of your younger brothers. I also happen to know that your biological father is married to your mother’s twin brother.”

I scoffed, rubbing my temples. “Yeah, we tend to keep it in the family…”

“Not to mention that your older brother is in some significant trouble with the law, and that you’ve been a direct support system for him,” she said, and I slowly picked my head up to stare at her. “I know stress when I see it, Iana. And then there’s the notion that you signed a custody agreement with your daughter’s biological father last summer. You’ve got a lot on your plate, so I think my diagnosis is stress.”

I nodded. “So, what can we do?”

“Glasses or contacts, whatever you prefer,” she replied.

“I’ll take the contacts,” I replied.

She blinked. “Don’t have an aversion to touching your eye?”

I scoffed. “Please. Someone I care a lot about is marrying someone else in less than a year. I don’t have an aversion to much of anything anymore.”

. . .

After dropping off Hailey at daycare the following Monday, I returned home to login to the website of the University of Chicago, where I would formally begin my classwork. As a college freshman, several things had changed since the first time I was going to be taking that title. I remembered my plans, and big dreams, I’d had in the years leading up to my high school graduation, and how many things had been derailed since that. Even though I was starting college two years behind most of my graduating class, I knew I’d done the best thing for me in my life, because now Hailey was here, and I wouldn’t change that for anything.

I’d replied to Axel’s text about an hour into my work, letting him know that I was busy writing an essay for my Business 101 class. This assignment was about our foray into the business world, and why we’d selected it for a major in the first place. Another component of the essay was why we found ourselves in college right now, if at all, and I was able to inform my professor that I’d had a surprise pregnancy, and now, at eighteen, the typical age for a college freshman, I was officially two years behind in my learning. I further explained that Hailey was the light of my life and, combined with my supportive family, I’d made the right choice for me.

I picked up my phone again, when I was about three-fourths of the way done with my essay, and found I was smiling at another text from Axel. He was asking me if I’d be available for dinner two nights from now; I had the closing shift tonight, the opening and lunch rush the following day, and off on Wednesday. I told him that I would of course be available for dinner, as Mom was handing over the reins of the diner more and more to Franny, so she’d only be too glad to take Hailey for a couple of hours in the evening. I’d be able to finish my essay the following evening, or in the hours before my day off, before its Friday due date, and then I’d feel more comfortable going to dinner with Axel. I explained to him my plan, and saved my document, before heading out of my bedroom and getting in a shower before work.

“You’re still good to pick up Hailey from daycare later?” I asked Mom, tying my apron in place in the employee locker room, when she came to check up on me after I’d arrived.

“Of course, darling,” she replied, smiling at me. “How was the first day?”

I sighed. “Good. I’ve started writing an essay for my Business 101 class.”

“That’s amazing, sweetheart,” she said, grinning. “You taking any other classes this quarter, or is it just the one?”

“Algebra and English 101,” I replied, proud of myself for having placed into a college-level English class, which would make things easier for me in the long-run.

“Any assignments from them yet?”

“A simple math test of ten questions, which I took. Got a nine,” I said, pleased, although math and I had never been best friends. “And as for my English class, an essay due Friday after next about our favorite genre of literature.”

“Have you started the other essay yet?”

“The outline,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders slightly as I gathered up my hair into a ponytail, with a small smile. “I was focusing more on my business essay, because it’s due first. I got about three-fourths of the way done.”

Mom nodded. “That’s great, sweetheart. Seems like you’re keeping on top of things.” She hesitated for a moment, a knowing smile crossing her face. “What do you want?” she asked, in typical mom fashion.

I bit my lip, wanting to approach the subject delicately. “Well, you know that Axel and me are back together…”

She pursed her lips, clearly not pleased with that fact. “Yeah,” she replied.

“Well, he asked me if I could go to dinner on Wednesday night…”

She sighed, rolling her eyes. “And you need me to watch Hailey…”

“If it’s an imposition, I can take her with, but I’ve no idea where he’s taking me, plus it’s our first date back together, and I don’t know how long we’ll be…”

Mom stared up at the ceiling for a moment. “Fine,” she muttered.

I blinked; had it really been that easy? “What?” I asked stupidly.

She clicked her tongue, clearly growing impatient before she looked back down at me. “Fine, I will watch Hailey on Wednesday night,” she said, dragging her hands through her hair. “But honey, just so you know, none of us approve.”

I shook my head. “Wait. Don’t approve of what?”

She nibbled her bottom lip, turning around to go back to her office. “Of you, getting back together with Axel,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

I sighed. “It’s not your decision, Mom.”

She looked over her shoulder at me. “I know it isn’t, sweetheart. But I also know that you have feelings for someone else, and feelings can’t just be turned off.”

I crossed my arms. “Mine have.”

She smiled sadly then. “That’s where it gets really bad. When we think we’ve managed to erase something, which can never be erased. They don’t just go away, darling, they can’t. And the sooner you realize that, the better,” she told me, her voice gentle, as she continued down the hallway by the kitchen and into her office.

. . .

My jaw dropped when I saw we were going to the same steakhouse we’d gone to, back when our relationship was on solid ground. Well, not so solid; Axel just couldn’t get it out of his mind that there was something between me and Liam; I could see it in his eyes. Of course I knew, deep down, that he must still feel that way, especially when he did his best not to sneer when he saw me wearing the heart-shaped locket that I always wore. Why he thought someone like Liam would be so charming and get me something like that, I didn’t know, but I resolved to keep my mouth shut about it.

We were led inside and to our table, yet another private booth in the back, and I smiled at the hostess and thanked her, taking my menu after I sat. “This is nice,” I said casually to Axel, once the woman had left. I wasn’t even going to bring up the fact that she’d been blatantly checking him out in front of me.

“We’ve been here before,” came his reply, slightly clipped, and I grew increasingly annoyed that he was obviously obsessed about my necklace.

I decided to let it slide. “I know,” I replied. “It’s nice here.”

“Mmm-hmm,” he replied, staring into his menu and pretty much ignoring me. “Probably why I picked it in the first place.”

I swallowed then, staring at my own copy of the menu, and yet found that the items and their descriptions were merely swimming in front of me, as I was not making an effort to focus. My contacts still hadn’t arrived yet, but given the size of the text in front of me—not to mention the fact that it wasn’t on a screen which blared into my retinas with its powerful light—it was much easier for me to handle. I bit down on my bottom lip, contemplating why Axel was acting this way, given that he’d worked so hard all summer to get me back.

The waiter came by shortly thereafter, and took our drink and appetizer orders. Axel got a beer and I got a cranberry juice, and I barely heard what he ordered for our appetizers. I looked around the dining room, sizing up all the other patrons around us. I could sense several business meetings, given the attire of the diners and the monotones of their conversation. Then there were the several levels of couples around us—first dates; blind dates; seasoned couples; older ones; younger ones… I even saw a proposal going down on the other side of the dining room, and all the tables nearby applauded the groom-to-be’s efforts.

“You’re quiet.”

“Hmm,” I said, slowly picking up my water—which was in one of those short-stemmed wine glasses—and tipped it to my lips, the pieces of ice cube clanging against the sides. “Guess so. I mean, you’re the one who didn’t seem particularly talkative tonight.”

Axel sighed, and I did my best to appear interested in my menu again. “It’s been a hard week at the prison, Iana. Can you blame me?”

I sighed, rolling my shoulders. “I don’t know, Axel,” I replied, trying my best to keep my tone civil with him. “You’re finally getting a date with me—our first one since getting back together, mind you—and yet _you_ ’ _re_ the one giving _me_ the passive-aggressive treatment. You’ve barely said two words to me since we’ve got here, and you know it.”

“I’ve got a lot on my mind, Iana…”

“Well, so have I,” I said, finally deciding on a main course and shutting my menu. “I paid off my daughter’s biological father so that he wouldn’t come near her. My brother might be going to prison if the district attorney has his way. My cousin and best friend has a failing marriage. And I just started college after quitting a solid career, because of complexities regarding me and the family I work for. I’m essentially back to square one, Axel,” I said, shaking my head at him and feeling weakened. “I’m eighteen, I’m a mother, I have bills to pay… I don’t have the freedom I once did to just run around and do whatever the fuck I want. I feel like I’m drowning constantly, because I’m stretching myself so goddamn thin. I want to be enough for my daughter, for my family, and for you. I just don’t know how to do all that…”

Axel sighed, massaging his temples. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice quiet. “I’ve got to work on considering things from your mindset, Iana.”

I reached out then, taking one of his hands, which got his attention enough to raise his eyes slowly to mine. “Hey, we’ve all got shit going on in our respective lives,” I told him, my voice far more gentler this time. “I guess we just have to figure it out. Together.”

Axel smiled then, taking my hand and kissing it. “Together. I like that sound of that.”

I returned his smile. “Thought you might,” I replied.

. . .

“You okay?”

I turned briefly to Yev then, as we sat at the stoplight, and sighed. “I should be asking you the same question,” I replied, a nervous laugh escaping my lips. I turned back to the light, stepping on the gas once it turned green, and we were pulled through the intersection.

“Can’t complain,” Yev replied, shrugging his shoulders. “You manage to get your first essay done for your Business 101 class yet?”

I laughed aloud then, this second laugh far more convincing than my first one just now. “Yeah, I mean, sure…”

“Your mother won’t be happy if you didn’t,” Pops said from the backseat.

I peered up at him in my rearview mirror, and rolled my eyes, before turning my focus back to the road in front of us. “Stop texting Uncle Ian for two seconds and focus on your kids,” I said, turning the final corner before arriving at the courthouse.

“My husband wants to know the developments of the day, thank you,” Pops said, humor behind his tone as I drove up to the garage across the street from the courthouse, scanning Dad’s pass that he’d given us and pulling inside. “Why don’t you focus on finding us a halfway decent parking space?”

“Dear god, am I the only one completely calm here?” Yev asked, leaning back against the passenger seat as I began searching for a spot.

“You’re only calm because you told Desmond he didn’t have to come today,” I said, giving Yev a smirk as I finally found a good spot.

“I’ll have you know that Desmond doesn’t need me to tell him to—”

“Hey, hey,” Pops said, interrupting Yev’s words as I pulled into the parking space. “I’m happy that you’ve got a boyfriend, son, but I don’t need to hear the gorey details.”

I found I couldn’t stop laughing then as I finished parking, and thanked Yev when he tossed my bag to me. I pulled my keys from the ignition, watching as Yev and Pops got out of the car, and I hopped out myself, locking up behind me. “Least you’re getting some,” I muttered.

“You’re not?” Yev asked.

“Jesus,” Pops muttered, deliberately walking ahead of us in an effort to drown out our topic of conversation as he found the staircase that would lead us outside. “You kids take your time. I’m going to find Nicholas.”

“Fine, Pops!” Yev called after him, before turning back to look at me. “So, you and Axel. I mean, you’re not…?”

I shook my head, allowing Pops to go ahead before I spoke again. “Nope. I’ve only been out-out with Axel once since we started… Well, whatever this is, between us again,” I said, shrugging my shoulder as Yev and I trooped down the stairs after Pops. “I don’t exactly know what you’d call this thing…”

“Would you call Axel your boyfriend?”

I scoffed. “Maybe. I don’t know,” I replied, nearly tripping and falling down the final bit of stairs, and would’ve too, if Yev hadn’t grabbed onto me to prevent me from doing so. “Thanks,” I said, looking up at him, and putting my arms around him, standing on my toes so that I could put my head on his shoulder.

“Hey,” Yev said, pulling me into a hug, “it’s all right. You okay?”

I sighed, pulling back from him and dragging my hand across my face, relieved that I hadn’t succumbed to tears. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “Not really.”

“Yeah?” he asked, checking his phone. “I don’t have to be there for another twenty minutes, Iana, so talk to me. What’s going on?”

I bit my lip. “You sure?” I asked. “I mean, we’ve got your jury selection today and that’s really important in the build-up of a case…”

“I’m sure,” Yev said, his voice firm. “You’re my sister. I think, out of everyone in our family, I love you the most, Iana. So, come on. Come on and tell me what’s bothering you.”

“Yev, I don’t think…”

“Well, I think it’s a good thing,” he interrupted me.

I crossed my arms. “Yeah? How?”

“Well, let’s see, we’ve been separated for more years that we’ve been together, for one thing,” he said, smirking down at me, and I rolled my eyes, “so the whole little sister asking her big brother for favors is at play here.”

I scoffed. “Okay. That’s one reason. Got any more?”

“Uh, yeah,” Yev said, looking triumphant. “Even though I didn’t ask you to, you originally took the blame for this whole thing with Terry,” he said, spreading his hands. “If the police hadn’t caught on, it would’ve been buried.”

“Yeah,” I said. “So?”

“Well, I owe you a lot, Iana,” Yev said, and I looked away from him. “No, I mean it,” he said, and reached out then to squeeze my shoulder, which caused me to look at him again. “You saved my life, Iana, by seeking me out, and reuniting me with our family. If it hadn’t been for you, I would’ve probably gotten back on the needle again, and ended up dead in a ditch somewhere. I didn’t have the courage to go on for much longer, Iana, because I never knew what a support system even was. You saved my life, and I’ll always be grateful for that.”

I smiled slowly then. “All right, mister,” I said. “I guess I can say that a lot of the old issues that drove me and Axel apart the first time around are coming back up.”

Yev looked guarded then. “He hitting you?”

I shook my head. “No, no hitting involved.”

He nodded. “Okay. Did you bring your gun with you on your date?”

I raised my eyebrows. “Jesus, Yev. No. He just took me to that steakhouse he did last year, when I thought things were good, but, as it turns out…”

“They’re the same as before?”

I sighed. “Yeah, it feels that way…”

“Then, why’d you do it?” he asked, spreading his hands. “Why’d you get back together with Axel at all, Iana?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Yeah, you do know,” Yev said, his tone slightly annoyed.

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t want to do this.”

“Too late—we’re doing this,” Yev said, crossing his arms. “I’m pulling the big brother card on you, little sister.”

I shook my head at him. “The fucking what…?! That doesn’t exist, Yev!”

“I’m invoking it into existence now,” he replied.

I raised my eyebrows. “Did you just say ‘invoking’?”

“Don’t change the subject,” Yev snapped, clearly becoming more and more impatient with me by the minute. “Just spit it out. Why’d you get back together with Axel?”

I sighed. “It’s complicated.”

“Don’t give me that ‘it’s complicated’ bullshit, Iana. This is serious.”

I shook my head at him. “Not that serious.”

“It’s _very_ serious, Iana,” Yev shot back. “Last time around, Axel got violent with you, and it got so bad that you had to pull your fucking gun on him!”

“He triggered me,” I said quietly, wrapping my arms around myself, my nails digging into my arms as my mind went automatically back to the terror I’d felt that day. “He triggered me and I remembered Tommy…”

Yev sighed, dragging his hand down his face. “Jesus,” he whispered. “And you would actually go back to a man who made you feel that way?”

I shrugged. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I did…”

“And you honestly have no idea why you would do something like that?”

I swallowed, turning away from Yev as my eyes filled with tears. “I needed someone, Yev, and he was there for me,” I whispered, shuddering. “Not many people understand what I’ve been through, and not many people can, unless they’ve been there themselves…”

“What?” Yev asked, and I sighed then, attempting to stop myself from sobbing aloud. “What are you talking about, Iana?”

I sighed then, a sob escaping from my lips. “He went through hell, just like I did, when he was just a little boy,” I whispered then, covering my face with my hands. “He was just a little boy, Yev, and I was just a little girl, and then men in our lives—men who were supposed to love and protect us—they did just the opposite…”

“What are you saying?” Yev whispered.

“It was his stepdad, his mother’s husband,” I said, slowly dragging my hands off from my face so as I could look up at him. “He did terrible things to him growing up, on the same level of what Tommy did to me. That’s why,” I whispered then, my voice trembling. “That’s why it’s so easy to be with him, and to forgive him whenever he lashes out. He doesn’t do it to hurt me, Yev; he does it because, like me, he’s just unable to control it sometimes. All I want is for him to be happy and safe, and I think I can help him do that…”

Yev shook his head. “You sound more like a mother than a girlfriend.”

I scoffed. “Mothers shouldn’t mess with their children that way, Yev.”

Yev sighed. “Do you even love him, Iana?”

I swallowed again. “I don’t know.”

“Iana…”

“No, it’s different,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “It’s different than it was when I was fourteen and we first got together, and then when we got back together last year, after Pops got shot when Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy got married. But he’s done so much; he had the information that led me to you. I’m so thankful for him, Yev, more than you could ever realize, and our relationship… It’s different.”

“But do you love him?” he pressed.

I raised my eyes to his. “That’s not a simple answer, Yev,” I replied.

“And what about Liam?” he asked.

I shrugged. “What about Liam?”

“Do you love him?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I hate Liam,” I replied, my voice filled with loathing as I walked past him then, and towards the courthouse.

. . .

“How did jury selection go?”

“Hmmm? Jury selection?” I asked, picking my head up from where I’d been staring at my computer, writing up my second essay for my Business 101 class. “Fine, I guess…”

Axel nodded, his arm draped casually around my shoulders for the moment. He’d received a big promotion at the prison, and it was now his duty to do up the schedules within the ranks of the various employees. “I’m glad to hear it.”

I forced a smile to my face, before leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. “Thanks for asking me,” I said, turning back to my computer. “Thanks for being so considerate and letting our second date back together be at your place with pizza.”

“Hey, anything for a couple of hours alone with you,” Axel said, squeezing my shoulder as he went over the schedule on his own laptop. “How’s Hailey adjusting?”

“She loves her new daycare,” I said, flashing him a smile. “The employees are telling me she’s on the fast-track for preschool, which is amazing.”

“Yeah, of course,” Axel said. “She sensing shit’s up?”

I shrugged. “You know Hailey. Always questioning…”

“So, she gets it?” he asked.

“Well, I mean, Yev and I have discussed what we’ll tell her if, on the off-chance he goes to prison for a time,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “All I know is, it could destroy her if I don’t end up telling her right.”

“Why do you think so?”

I sighed, saving my document before turning to look at him. “Isn’t it obvious?” I asked, climbing into his lap, which made him chuckle, and move his laptop out of the way. “The last thing I want is for my daughter blaming herself that her uncle is in prison.”

Axel placed his hands on my shoulders. “You don’t really think that Hailey would think something like that, do you?”

I sighed, putting my forehead against Axel’s. “Just because she’s far more advanced than most children her age, Axel, doesn’t mean she doesn’t occasionally think like them.”

Axel cocked his head to one side. “Meaning?”

I sighed. “Meaning that she’ll become insecure, and think that every little thing she does has consequences,” I said simply.

Axel’s brow furrowed. “Well, it’s true…”

“Yeah, but not on such an extreme level,” I said quickly. “I don’t want my daughter turning into a fragile and timid creature…”

Axel grinned. “You know very well that the won’t happen.”

I sat back on my haunches then. “Yeah, well, how do you know?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

I shrugged. “No. I mean, not really.”

He smiled. “I think it’s obvious.”

“Well, then, enlighten me, good sir, so that I may be privy to this knowledge you suddenly have about my daughter’s future,” I said, a laugh escaping my lips.

Axel chuckled then, grabbing me by my waist then and pulling me lengthwise against him; this caught me off-guard to the point where I squealed. “Because she’s your daughter,” Axel said simply then, kissing me. “Any daughter of yours couldn’t be fragile and timid.”

I smiled down at him. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mr. Richland,” I said.

Axel smirked. “Anytime,” he replied.

. . .

Jury was picked a week after selection had begun, and, just two days later, I had some time free, so I went out with Axel again. We had a pleasant conversation, and that’s how our date went, at first, as we caught each other up on our professional and personal lives. I loved that Axel loved hearing about Hailey and the trial, and I would smirk behind my hand at the notion that Axel was giving himself the best schedules in the prison.

“Are you happy?”

I turned and looked at him from the Michigan Avenue Bridge, where we currently stood. “Do you mean generally, or right now?”

Axel smiled. “Let’s start with generally.”

I sighed. “Well, I’m still kind of freaking out about my academic and parental futures,” I said honestly, hunching my shoulders around my frame then; it was the final day of the first full week of October, and so cold and autumn weather had officially set in to the South Side. “Not to mention the fact that my brother might be going to prison…”

Axel sighed. “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head at him. “Don’t be,” I replied. “You didn’t force me to change my academic plans once I got pregnant. And then there’s the fact that you did not get me pregnant,” I said, and found myself laughing at that fact. “And you also didn’t ask me to take the blame for Yev’s sake when it came to Terry’s assault.” I sighed then, blowing out the air from my cheeks, which turned into a puff of hot air, which floated down from the bridge where we stood, and down onto the surface of the water below. “Although, personally, I think you would’ve tried to talk me out of doing that…”

Axel nodded. “Probably,” he admitted, “even though I understand your reasons for wanting to do something like that.”

“You ever take the heat for Cara doing something?” I asked, turning back and looking up at him in the sunset. “I mean…”

He sighed. “A few times,” he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Usually for parties and shit like that when we were growing up.”

I nodded. “I see.”

“Guess I’m just glad that I’ve got you back in my life,” he said, taking one of his hands out of his pockets and putting it around my shoulders.

I leaned back into him. “Thanks, Axel,” I said. “I’m glad, too.”

He hesitated for a moment. “I need you, Iana.”

I smiled, turning and looking out at the water. “It’s nice to be needed,” I said quietly.

“No, I mean…” Axel cut himself off then, allowing his hand to wander from where it was, just over my shoulder, before it moved to cup my breast.

“Axel, what are you…?”

Axel turned me around then, kissing me, just as he wrapped up the two of us in his coat, and continued to run his hand over my chest, effectively pawing at me. “Iana,” he moaned into my ear, and I found I wanted to break away from him. “Please,” he whispered.

“Axel, don’t,” I said softly.

“Why?” he whispered, pulling back and looking down at me. “I want you.”

I swallowed. “But…”

“We’re back together,” he said, his tone filled with desperation. “You’ve come up with excuses not to do it ever since we’ve gotten back together. Why?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know…”

His touch turned cold then, and he merely left his hands were they were, on my chest, and yet made no moves to flex his fingers to fondle me there even further. “Is it because you’re still not over Liam?” he asked.

I yanked back from him. “What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?!”

“It’s a simple question, Iana,” he shot back. “Are you over him or not?”

I crossed my arms. “You think that just because I’m not in the mood to fuck you right now that it means I’m not over Liam?!”

Axel shrugged. “If the shoe fits.”

I scoffed then, reaching out without hesitation and slapping him across the face. “Fuck you, Axel,” I said, stomping past him.

“Where are you going?” he demanded.

“Home,” I said firmly, not turning back to face him. “Alone.”

“Let me drive you,” he said. “It’s late.”

“I am not some damsel in distress in need of rescue by a knight in shining armor or a prince charming, Axel!” I yelled, turning around to face him again. “I’d rather walk than go anywhere with you and your false accusations! If you want to accuse me of shit like this, then I don’t know if we can ever really become a couple again!”

Axel sighed. “It has to be what you want, Iana.”

I shook my head at him. “Fuck you,” I said. “I think I’ve made it abundantly clear what I want from this, Axel.”

“If you’re not going to fuck me…”

“You’re being ridiculous!” I said, throwing up two middle fingers at him.

“I don’t think I’m being the ridiculous one here, Iana.”

I shook my head. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that the ball’s in your court,” he replied, turning around and walking in the opposite direction, towards his car.

“Axel!” I screamed, but he didn’t turn back to me. “Axel!” I yelled, one last time, but, seeing that his mind was made up, turned around and walked away on my own.


	4. Dark Horse

“It’s been two days,” Franny said, wiping off one of the menus and handing it over to me to put into its little wooden bin. “The last thing I need is you continuing to give me the silent treatment whilst we do the closing shift.”

I muttered under my breath, inspecting the latest cleaned menu for any offending stains of chili, avocado, or ice cream—among other things—before placing it in its proper place. “Didn’t know that ‘whilst’ was still a common word in the English language…”

Franny scoffed, tossing her red hair before she dropped the rag, putting her elbows down onto the counter, and stared at me with those blue eyes of hers, before at last I turned and looked over at her. “Iana, this is me you’re talking to,” she said, pouting at me. “Godmother to my son, my best friend since you were in diapers and I was in pull-ups, my secret-keeper and confident when I got pregnant with Ezra, and when shit went down with Colin. And ever since my marriage went on the rocks, you’ve been there for me constantly.”

I sighed. “And news on the Clark front?”

Franny sighed, knowing that, maybe if we talked about her for a little while, that I’d eventually allow myself to be opened up. “Not a whiff of anything fresh,” she replied, turning back to her task of menu-cleaning.

“Yeah?” I asked, swiveling around on my bar stool as I waited for her job as menu-cleaner to be over, whereupon my job of inspector would begin. “You sure? I know that you’re letting him get Ezra from school on some days when we’re slammed here.”

Franny sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “I want Ezra to have a relationship with Clark, because he’s the closest thing he’s ever had to a father,” she said quietly. “Plus, Clark and I agreed that if we allow him to continue seeing him, Ezra won’t think it’s his fault that the marriage didn’t last more than five fucking minutes.”

I blinked. “What?”

“Yeah, it’s a common trait with children,” Franny replied, shrugging it off, and I shook my head, never having heard this common occurrence more than I had these past several weeks. “I mean, I don’t want it damaging him…”

I shook my head. “No, of course not,” I said quietly. “How does Ezra react after these visits with Clark? Happy? Sad?”

“Worried, mostly,” Franny said softly, making a face as she smelled the rag, before tossing it into the employee locker room with that incredible arm of hers, and fetching another one from the bin below the counter. “The first thing he asks me whenever he comes in the door when he spends an afternoon with Clark is, ‘Mommy, when are you getting back together with him?’”

I sighed. “And, I take it, you don’t have an answer for him?”

She shook her head. “No, of course not,” she said. “The last thing I have time to think about is my husband, living in his childhood bedroom, back in his parent’s house. I mean… Do I still love him? Of course I do. Can I get over the notion that he could’ve sent my technical cousin to prison? I don’t know. I just don’t know. And that’s the problem. I don’t think my love could outweigh this lie. I already forgave him for a lie…”

“About him being undercover as Jay, an Italian restaurateur?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yeah. Too bad I didn’t see him for what he was at the beginning—a Chicago cop who came from the same kettle that we did.”

I sighed, smiling slightly then. “You do realize that he would’ve told you the truth, if he could, right?” I asked her. “And, if I remember correctly, he immediately told you that he was always in love with you, and kissed you in front of everyone?”

“I don’t need reminding of our courtship, Iana,” she said quietly. “I remember everything. Of course, I wouldn’t have said or done certain things if I knew he was a cop…”

I smirked. “You were being yourself.”

“Yeah,” she said, shrugging. “What of it?”

“That’s why he fell in love with you in the first place, Franny,” I said, my tone gentle. “Had you not acted like yourself, Clark likely wouldn’t have fallen for you.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe if I’d kept my legs closed a bit longer, he wouldn’t have thought of me as ghetto trash…”

My mouth fell open. “Hold up. Did he actually say that?”

Franny bit her lip. “Not in so many words…”

“Okay,” I said, crossing my arms. “What was said then?”

She looked away. “I shouldn’t say it…”

“You’ve already said too much already,” I said, leaning forward. “So, tell me right now what was said about our family, Franny. I won’t stand for trash-talk.”

She swallowed visibly then, flattening her hands before placing them on the countertop between us, in a deliberate effort to steady herself. “It was the last time we went over for dinner at his parent’s house, before I kicked him out,” she said quietly. “I got all the information I needed that night, to know what his family…well, his mother, really thought of me…”

“What happened, Franny?”

“I was out on the back patio with Ezra and Mason, and things were going amazing,” she went on then, her voice soft. “Mason was immediately accepting of both of us, and we’d never had a problem with him, ever. Ezra was eating the lemon ice for dessert, but I declined, because, like you, we’re the only members of the family who can’t stand lemon on anything other than some kind of chicken meal,” she said, her eyes meeting mine, and we smiled at one another. “So, I excused myself to use the bathroom, and Mason said he’d watch Ezra. I went inside, and I had to walk by the kitchen, which is when I heard them talking…”

“What’d Sarah say?” I asked.

“In short, Sarah said that Clark had made the biggest mistake ever by marrying into a ‘ghetto trash’ family,” she said quietly, lowering her eyes.

I gasped. “You’re kidding!”

“No,” Franny said, shaking her head. “Clark defended me, and that warmed me to him, of course, because, as his wife, he’s supposed to be on my side.”

I nodded. “Of course he did! He did well.”

“Not for long,” Franny informed me. “Sarah went on that the Gallagher’s were trash, and then said that Aunt Murphy had been a thirsty, homewrecking bitch, and that _she_ was the one who had gone after Mason, while they were separated, and while Uncle Nicholas was on the run from the law, while we know that it was Mason who…”

“Oh, fuck no!” I said, pushing up from my place at the counter, and marched into the employee locker room, getting my keys and other things from my locker, whereupon I walked over to the door, and let out an exasperated noise when Franny blocked my way. “Move!” I ordered her, and crossed my arms.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Franny demanded, searching my face. “Are you off your meds again, Iana?!”

I rolled my eyes. “No, I am not off my fucking meds, Franny!” I shot back. “Now, let me out so I can teach that bitch a lesson!”

“Stop it right now,” Franny said, taking ahold of my shoulders and propelling me back to the dining room, and sitting me down at the counter. “Don’t move,” she ordered, going behind the counter and getting me a glass of ice water, which she placed in front of me. She watched me as I lifted the glass to my lips, taking a drink. “There. Better?”

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms. “Whatever.”

Franny sighed. “Iana, fucking talk to me,” she said, doing her best to attempt to get me to meet her eyes, but I wasn’t budging. “You’ve gone full-silent on your life, except for Yev’s trial and any new developments about Hailey or college.”

I shrugged. “So what?”

“So what?” she cried out. “So what?! Iana, look at me!” she demanded then, and my eyes seemed to automatically snap to hers. “You can’t keep going on in this zombie state for the rest of your life!”

“Why not?”

“Why not…?” Franny sighed, shaking her head at me. “Because it’s not healthy!”

I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”

“It _does_ fucking matter, Iana! _You_ fucking matter!” she said, taking ahold of my shoulders, and my eyes looked up at her. “Ever since you got back this summer, you’ve been holding everyone by Yev at arm's’ length. I know you think that he really needs you right now because of the trial he’s going through, and that’s fine. But you’ve got to understand that the rest of us, we’re your fucking family, too, and we’ll do anything to make sure that you’re happy.”

I sighed. “I’m perfectly happy, Franny. See?” I said, forcing the smile onto my lips, but felt the tears enter my eyes simultaneously. “Happy as can be…”

“No,” Franny said, her grip on my shoulders suddenly turning gentle. “No, you’re not,” she went on then, circling the counter and sitting beside me. “Iana, please. Talk to me. I know I’ve got my own shit going on for me, but who gives a damn, at the end of the day? You are my best friend and I can’t stand to see you like this. Please… Tell me what’s going on.”

I looked away from her. “It’s hard,” I said, the words escaping my mouth before I could call them back, the tears suspended on my lashes.

“What’s hard? Being a mother with an important job? Of course it is. Having a brother who could go to prison? That’s damn hard, too. Not to mention the fact that your cousin and best friend keeps dumping her marriage drama on you, despite the fact that you yourself seem to have some crap going on, too,” she said, and I turned to look at her again. “I’m right, aren’t I? I mean, something has to be up here…”

I swallowed. “Yeah,” I said.

She nodded. “Talk to me, then. And don’t give me the, ‘Franny, it’s fucking complicated’ speech, because I’ve heard that over and over from you. It’s officially an unacceptable answer, Iana. I was there for you when you got arrested and put on trial at fourteen, when you got your heart broken that same year, and when you realized you were pregnant with Iana. I’ve always been there for you, Iana, because I’m your best friend, and your cousin. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you if it’s in my hands. Let me listen to you now. Please. I want to help.”

I sighed then, knowing that I had to give her something. “It’s fucking hard…”

She blinked. “What is?”

“All of it,” I whispered.

“All of what?” she wanted to know.

“On top of everything—motherhood, job, college—having to lie,” I whispered, the last word slipping out of my mouth, barely a whisper.

“Lie?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Lie.”

“Lie about what?”

“About my real motivation for getting back together with Axel,” I whispered, my voice shaking then, as I allowed these words to be spoken. “I’m a terrible person…”

“Iana…”

“No, I am,” I told her, the tears streaming down my face. “I acted like I was still in love with him and that I wanted him back, but I really just…”

“You didn’t want to be alone,” Franny said quietly, and I nodded, throwing my arms around her then, sobbing. “Liam… He really hurt you, didn’t he?”

I nodded. “Yeah,” I said, my voice muffled.

Franny held me to her. “I’m sure seeing that fiancée of his didn’t help,” she sneered.

I shook my head, pulling back from her and wiping my eyes with the backs of my hands. “I mean, it wasn’t easy…”

She shook her head. “I can’t imagine.”

I nodded. “Not many people can,” I whispered, raising my eyes to hers. “And while I don’t fully understand it, I think that’s why I got back with Axel.”

She blinked. “Because of your pasts?”

I sighed. “Yeah,” I said, hunching my shoulders. “He’s one of the few people who understands what I went through, on the level and all…”

“I’m sorry, Iana,” she said quietly. “I wish I’d known…”

I shook my head. “You couldn’t have known, Franny, and you couldn’t have done anything anyway. You were young, too. I don’t forget.”

She sighed, taking my hand in hers. “Just… Promise me something.”

“What?”

Her eyes locked with mine. “Don’t make compromises when it comes to love,” she said softly to me then, and I knew she was talking about Colin. “No matter what happens, just always be on the lookout for the right person. Don’t sacrifice your ideals for the love that might be an idealist thing; remember to always look for it.”

I nodded. “I will,” I replied, and we shared a smile.

. . .

I had the day off the following day, and took Hailey to the park, content on her skipping a day of daycare, and permitting myself to spend my day as a mother. I was ahead on my essay work for my classes, as well as the math assignments that were a daily ritual. I ignored Axel’s attempts at a reconciliation through phone calls, and instead took Hailey to Pops and Uncle Ian’s place after we’d finished at the park that afternoon.

“Things good?” Pops asked, taking Hailey automatically from me after I stepped inside.

I shrugged, making my way over to the kitchen and retrieving a bottle of beer from the fridge. I threw a smile in Uncle Ian’s direction, who looked concerned as I opened the beer and chugged it effortlessly, leaning up against the doorframe of the kitchen. “I should say that I can’t complain, but it’s more than that…”

“Axel still texting you?” Uncle Ian guessed.

I scoffed. “You don’t know the half of it,” I said, hunching my shoulders. “He called me three times while I was at the park with this one.”

“What’d you do at the park?” Pops asked, turning and looking at Hailey, and I smiled, pleased that the question was directed at her.

“Swings,” she replied, clapping her hands. “Swings Hailey’s favorite.”

“They’re your mother’s favorite, too,” Uncle Ian said, putting an arm around my shoulders, and I automatically leaned back and into him. “Grandma Murphy and I went to the park so much with her when she was little, and she loved the swings.”

I rolled my eyes, sipping at my beer. “Except this one had to grow up, and move on with her life eventually,” I said, kissing Uncle Ian on the cheek as I crossed the room, sitting next to Pops on the couch. “But, it’s a living.”

The front door opened then and Yev stepped inside, carrying a box. “Oh, good, you’re here,” he said, flashing my a smile as he kicked the door shut behind him.

“What’s that?” Pops asked, nodding at the box.

“It’s addressed to Iana,” Yev explained casually, crossing into the living room and handing it over to me. “I was just walking back from my shift at Patsy’s and saw the mailman across the street. I told him about my connection and he just handed it over to me without asking any questions, so, here we are.”

I smiled, turning the box over and over in my hands, just managing to make out the return address in the upper left corner of the package. “Oh, it’s from the optometrist!” I said, getting to my feet and dashing to the kitchen. I pulled a box cutter out of the junk drawer, slicing open the box effortlessly and taking out one of the smaller boxes from inside it. I let out a shriek, before opening the inner box I held and walked over to the bathroom. I opened the door, washing my hands in a frenzy before I took out one of the things inside the box. I leaned in closer to the mirror then, opening my contact lenses, and popping them both into my eyes. I let out a slight gasp then, as the outlines of things far away and close to me, became sharper, and the canvas painted in front of me consisted of no blurred lines.

“You okay?” Yev asked, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, and he automatically stepped backwards as I stepped towards him, but let out a chuckle as I threw my arms around him. “Hey, hey, what’s all this about?”

“I can see,” I said, my voice breathless as I pulled away from him. “I can fucking see again! My head isn’t pounding, and my eyes aren’t working double-time anymore…”

“Hold up, you can see?!” Uncle Ian demanded, crossing towards the two of us and getting a good look at me. “Wow! I don’t even detect a difference, other than the obvious.”

“The obvious?” I asked, cocking my head to one side. “What do you…?”

“He means you look happy, Iana,” Pops explained, stepping into the kitchen with Hailey still in his arms. “You haven’t looked that happy in a while.”

Yev turned and regarded me again. “He’s right,” he replied.

I laughed then, crossing my arms. “Well, let’s just hope this happiness sticks around for a while, then,” I said softly.

. . .

“Guess now that the jury’s been picked, we’ll finally see some action,” Yev said, rolling back on the balls of his feet, in his new pair of patent leather shoes that Dad had bought him. “Guess you could say I’m ready to get the story straight.”

I sighed, reaching up and smoothing his jacket and adjusting his tie. “Now, remember, Yev, you’ve got to appear professional and above suspicion at all times when in public,” I told him, my voice quiet. “The last thing you want is the judge, twelve jurors, witnesses to the trial, reporters, bailiffs, or the opposing side coming up with dirt against you. Dad’s good at his job, as you know, but you can’t risk anything.”

Yev nodded, rolling his shoulders and turning to look around the conference room that Dad had had reserved for him to be in before and during court proceedings. “What do you think the significance behind that painting is?”

I turned, following his eyes. “It’s The Water Lily Pond by Claude Monet,” I said, and Yev turned to look at me, his eyes wide. “What?” I asked him, shrugging. “A girl from the South Side can’t know about artwork?”

He shook his head. “No. I just didn’t know you did.”

I laughed. “We took a trip to the Chicago Museum of Art junior year,” I said. “It was the junior class trip, and it was amazing.”

“So, you like art?”

“Paintings, sure,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I guess you could say my favorite painters are probably Waterhouse, Vermeer, and Holbein.”

Yev grinned. “I’ll have to check them out,” he replied.

I nodded. “You should,” I told him.

“Hey, kids,” Dad said, coming to the room a moment later, his briefcase in hand as he shut the door behind him. “You all set for the opening arguments today?”

Yev sighed. “Yeah. I mean, I guess I am. Have to be, don’t I?”

Dad smiled at Yev. “You’re going to be just fine,” he assured him. “I’m sure you’re nervous, but anyone would be in this situation. And, not to worry, it’s just opening arguments. The opposing side is going to make you look bad, but they can’t say or ask you anything yet, as you are not on the stand. That won’t come for a while.”

Yev nodded. “Okay. I think I can handle that.”

The door opened then, and Desmond stood on the threshold, and Yev visibly relaxed when he saw him standing there. Dad squeezed Yev’s shoulder good-naturedly and gently pushed him towards Desmond, while he opened his briefcase on the table of the conference room and went over his notes for the opening arguments.

“I’ll give you two some time,” I said, smiling at Yev. “Hey, Desmond,” I said, walking past him and into the hallway.

“Hey, Iana,” he said back.

I stepped out into the hallway and made my way down it, heading outside to get some air. It was a cool October day, and I welcomed the cool air on my skin. I was wearing a skirt suit that day, always wanting to be appropriate, and as I lowered my eyes down the staircase, I very nearly lost my footing when I saw who was standing there. “Axel?” I asked.

“Hey,” he said, coming up the rest of the stairs and standing opposite me. “How are you?” he asked, handing me some flowers.

“I…” I cut myself off then, staring at the bouquet he’d given me, and found that I was unsure of this sudden turn of events. “Fine, I guess. Desmond just got here. He’s calming Yev down in the wake of preparation for opening arguments.”

He nodded. “That’s why I’m here,” he replied, his tone unsteady. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior the other night, Iana. Knowing what I know about your past, I shouldn’t have tried to push the issue. I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

I nodded. “You’re right, you shouldn’t have tried to push the issue.”

“It feels like I’m always apologizing to you,” he said, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. “I fucking hate it, even though you’ve deserved every apology.”

“You’re right. I have.” I hesitated for a moment, taking in his gesture of flowers, as well as the humble attitude he was presenting. “But it means a lot that you showed up here today.”

Axel smiled. “Thank you.”

“Are you staying?” I asked. “For opening arguments?”

He blinked. “Do you want me to?”

I smiled. “Yeah, I mean, if you want…”

“I’d like to, yeah.”

I reached out then and took his hand. “I’m glad,” I said, standing on my toes and kissing him on the cheek. “They should be calling Yev’s case any minute. Let’s get in there.”

As we stepped inside the courthouse, Axel hesitated in the foyer. “Iana…”

I turned and looked at him then, questioning of his motives. “Yeah?”

He sighed. “I really do feel bad about the other night…”

I nodded. “I know, Axel. You didn’t mean it.”

“I really want to make it up to you…”

I shook my head. “That’s really not necessary…”

“It is necessary,” he said firmly, “because you deserve it.”

I swallowed then. “What did you have in mind?”

“A do-over.”

I blinked. “A what now?”

“A do-over. Of our first date. I want to take you to dinner.”

I sighed, forcing a smile to my lips. “Okay, Axel. You can take me to dinner,” I said, and we walked towards the conference room together.

. . .

There couldn’t have been enough showers in the week that followed to absolve me of the guilt I felt, or how dirty I was feeling emotionally after my dinner date with Axel. I couldn’t tell you how many times I washed my mouth out, or my hands, in the days that went by. I kept my head down in my laptop, or my hands focused on my work at Patsy’s, just trying to keep my head out of the gutter, so to speak, even after what Axel and I had done after dinner, because I’d been so tired of the way he was looking at me. As the week carried on, all I could think about was that the end of the month was coming, and the trial went on.

“Iana.”

“Shit!” I said, very nearly spilling my bottle of water on my laptop, where I’d been working in the conference room at the courthouse on my latest essay. “Dad, sorry,” I said, saving my document and closing it up. “Just feeling a little on edge lately.”

Dad sighed, shutting the door behind him. “Well, what I need to say won’t help…”

“It won’t?” I asked, looking around him, but seeing no one. “Where’s Yev?”

“Desmond just showed up to take him to dinner,” he replied. “Want to grab a bite?”

I sighed. “Can’t,” I replied. “I had the day off today, and Hailey’s been at the daycare far too long for my liking. But I had to finish my latest Business 101 essay,” I said, shrugging my shoulders as I got to my feet.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“Yeah, but Franny’s working at the diner today, so Mom’ll probably be cooking,” I said, and gave him a small smile as I put on my coat. “So, what won’t help me?” I asked him, putting my hands on the table. “You seem to think that whatever you have to say likely won’t ease the tension I’m feeling, so let’s hear it.”

Dad sighed. “The opposing side and I talked about our proposed character witnesses and whatnot for Yev’s case, and I’m sorry, sweetheart, but your number’s up.”

I felt myself blanching white then. “I’m sorry. What?”

“I fought tooth and nail to keep you off the list, sweetheart, using every conflict of interest trick I had up my sleeve, but, unfortunately, it didn’t do any good. The judge is eager to hear from you, and the opposing side…”

“Will stop at nothing to find Yev guilty,” I said, putting my head in my hands. “I cannot go down on a perjury charge, Dad.”

He sighed. “I know, honey, I know.”

“What happens if they ask me if Yev did it?” I cried out then, lifting my head to meet his eyes. “I mean, unless I want to rot in jail for up to five years, I’ve gotta tell the truth. I’ve gotta say that Yev assaulted Terry, no matter if he deserved it or not. If I lie on the stand…”

“You can always not show up, or plead the fifth,” Dad joked.

I scoffed. “Yeah, hell of a lot good that’ll do me. They can subpoena me to court, and compel me to testify. They may not like us personally, but they’ll love seeing me squirm up there.”

“There’s one other thing…”

“What now?” I muttered.

“They DA says that, if you refuse to cooperate with them, then they’ll press charges against you for being an accessory to Yev’s crime.”

My mouth fell open then. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Dad sighed. “No, honey. I’m not kidding.”

I shook my head then, swallowing as I looked out the window. “How long?”

“What?”

I raised my eyes to his. “How long would I get? If I refuse to cooperate with the opposing side, and they take me to trial. Say they ignore my mental health, and want me sentenced to the maximum punishment allowed…”

“Iana, I don’t think talking about this will…”

“Don’t say what’ll help me and not help me,” I whispered, my voice shaking. “Just tell me what kind of sentence I can expect, Dad. Please.”

“A year,” he said, and I shut my eyes at the truth behind his words. “Maybe more, if they’re playing hardball with the charges. I mean, who’s to say they couldn’t air your dirty laundry in open court? Remember what happened with me? Who’s to say a rat couldn’t go in and get your charges as a minor brought up in court. I could object until the day I die, but the opposing side could have the judge in their pocket…”

“Shit,” I whispered. “When would I have to do this?”

“A week from today,” Dad replied.

I shook my head then. “Jesus Christ,” I whispered.

“Iana, it won’t be too bad…”

I shook my head then, feeling the hot tears escaping my eyes, before I at last turned and looked up at him. “I guess I have to cooperate then, no matter what. Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me god.”

Dad smiled tightly then. “I’ll do all I can to help you.”

I sighed, shaking my head and slipping my laptop into its case before I got to my feet. “Think it’s a little late for that, Dad,” I said, walking towards the door and leaving the room.

. . .

Pops had agreed to be there when I took the stand, and, even after Dad had questioned me, I knew that the worst of it was far from over. I lowered my eyes to my black trousers, my hands curled into fists upon my thighs. I’d sat through enough courtroom films and T.V. shows that I knew that the worst of it was yet to come. I raised my eyes upwards then as the D.A. got to his feet; he was a portly man, who frequently wore ill-fitting wool suits in an abysmal array of colors and patterns.

“Miss Milkovich, please tell the court your relationship to the defendant.”

I leaned forward then, towards the microphone, so that I would not be accused of speaking too quietly for anyone to hear. “He is my oldest brother.”

“For technicalities sake, he is your older paternal half-brother? You and Mr. Milkovich share the same biological father?”

I nodded at his words, hating that he was essentially mansplaining my answer. “Yes,” I replied, my tone clipped.

“Now, now, no need for ill-temperament,” said the D.A.

 _Fucking asshole_ , _treating me like I_ ’ _m some invalid from the nineteenth century_. _Get the fuck on with it while I_ ’ _m young_!

“And is it true, Miss Milkovich, that the day the assault took place, it was your first time ever meeting the defendant?”

I nodded. “Yes, that’s correct.”

“You and Mr. Milkovich, I take it, were not raised in the same household?”

 _No shit_ , _sherlock_ , I thought to myself. “No, sir. Custody of Yevgeny Milkovich was awarded to his biological mother, and I was raised by my own mother and adoptive father.”

“Custody, of course, being given to the defendant’s biological mother, because of the fact that the father you share was on the run in Mexico?”

“Objection!” Dad said, shooting to his feet. “Relevance?”

“Withdrawn,” said the D.A. “What prompted the visit to Terry Milkovich’s residence, Miss Milkovich?” he asked.

I swallowed then, lowering my eyes.

“Miss Milkovich, may I remind you that you are under oath?”

 _Sue me_ , _you fucking bastard_ , I thought to myself, before my eyes flashed upwards to meet his. “I suggested that the defendant and I pay a visit to Terry Milkovich’s residence in the wake of his questioning of his conception.”

“And how was Yevgeny Milkovich conceived, Miss Milkovich?”

“Your Honor!” Dad said, getting to his feet.

“I would like to hear this, Mr. Blomqvist,” Judge Vincent said levelly to Dad, before he turned to look over at me. “Answer the question, Miss Milkovich.”

I swallowed a second time, biting down hard on my lower lip, and forced the words to come out of my mouth before I could call them back. “Rape,” I said softly.

The D.A. stepped closer to me. “Repeat yourself, please, Miss Milkovich, so as all the members of the jury can hear you.”

I looked up at him. “Our biological father was raped,” I reply, feeling the tears suspended on my lashes as I stared at him then.

The D.A. looked shocked. “I’m sorry?”

“Our paternal grandfather, Terry Milkovich, is an extremely intolerant man,” I said quietly. “He did not approve of our father’s relationship with his then-boyfriend, now-husband, Ian Gallagher, and so, after walking in on them together, he immediately hired a Russian hand whore by the name of Svetlana Yevgenivna to quote, ‘fuck the gay out of’ our father, all the while keeping my uncle and his own son at gunpoint. He then forced my uncle to watch the attack,” I said, my voice hoarse from my attempts to hold it together. “After that, Svetlana was confirmed to be pregnant, and our biological father was forced into marriage with her.”

“And you told Mr. Milkovich all of this?”

“The short version,” I said softly.

The D.A. looked shocked at this sudden turn of events. “And it was after that that the assault took place?”

I sighed. “Yes.”

“Which you were a witness to?”

I averted my eyes. “Yes,” I managed to force myself to say.

“And did you or did you not originally take the blame for the assault?”

“I did what any good sister would do,” I replied, raising my eyes back to his. “But the short answer is, yes. I took the blame for the assault.”

The D.A. sighed. “It was your idea to take the blame?”

I nodded. “Yes. It was all my idea.”

The D.A. nodded. “No more questions for this witness,” he said.

“You may step down now, Miss Milkovich,” Judge Vincent said.

I nodded, the movement jerky. “Thank you, Your Honor,” I managed to get out, and slowly got to my feet, and made my way around the judge’s table, and back to the gallery, where I moved to sit, and collapsed in Pops’s arms.

. . .

I was relieved when Mom volunteered to watch Hailey after Patsy’s was closed on Saturday night, especially after Franny invited me out to cut loose, at it were, from the hard week we’d both been faced with. I allowed her to loan me one of her club outfits, and we used my car to drive to The Alibi Room. Uncle Kev was always sweet to us, giving us drinks by the time we were teenagers, and still to this day. As we trekked inside, but him and V were very excited to see the both of us, and we shot the breeze with them, over cold bottles of Old Style.

“How’re you holding up?” Franny asked.

I shrugged, tipping the beer down my throat. “Fine, I guess. Axel’s been calming down about the whole sex thing after I gave him head a week ago.”

Franny made a face. “How’d that go?”

I scoffed. “Least he’s not asking me to spread my legs,” I joked.

“Ah, my fellow intoxicated brethren!” came the booming voice of Frank as he walked into the bar like he owned the place, plopping himself down on one of the barstools. “Oh, lookie what we got here! My two beautiful granddaughters!”

“Shut up, Frank,” Franny and I said without hesitation.

I finished my bottle and sighed. “Want to get out of here?” I asked, wanting Franny to mull it over before it was ultimately decided. “Maybe find a club or something?”

She grinned. “Sure!” she said, and we left cash on the bar before heading out of there.

We got back into my car and drove into Downtown Chicago, where it was less of a ghetto area and far more trendy. We saw the flashing lights soon enough of the club district, and, when we parked my car in a joint-lot for the club hub, I allowed Franny to pick one at random. She flashed her real and I flashed my fake I.D. and we were let under the velvet rope and inside. There were flashing lights everywhere throughout the club, with a combination of upscale leather couches and those fuzzy ottomans littering various areas.

The bar was a sleek chrome monster of a thing, with expertly glass-cut bottles on the high shelves behind it. The seats actually had backs to them, and were bright silver with cushions sewn directly onto them, all in a stylish array of colors. As we approached the bartender, Franny winked at him, and soon we had some delicious-looking cocktails. We perched in our selected seats, sipping our drinks, and I was pleased to taste more fruit than alcohol, given that I would have to drive us both home later.

“What was this place called again?” I asked, speaking slightly louder so as Franny could hear me over the music.

“Verità,” she replied. “What is that, Latin?”

“Italian,” I replied. “It means ‘truth.” I turned and looked at the impressive DJ from across the way, who had an incredible mix, and all the dancing patrons kept throwing their hands in the air like they just didn’t care.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Franny said then, the venom in her voice palpable as I turned to regard her then, and followed her eyes to what must’ve been some VIP area. “Out of all the places…”

My heart sank like a stone in my stomach then, and I quickly brought my drink back to my lips, wanting desperately to numb the pain that I felt. “No problem here,” I said, fiddling with the little umbrella in my drink. “Let’s just get buzzed and get home, okay? Like we planned originally, right, Franny?”

“Why does _he_ have to be in _this_ club?!” Franny hissed, turning back to me, and I just shrugged my shoulders at her. “Isn’t this bothering you?”

“Nope,” I said, lying through my teeth. “Why would it?”

“Because, Liam is three yards away from us!” she cried out then. She turned back and regarded him then, shaking her head. “Is that Illiana sitting with him?”

I sighed; I didn’t even need to look, because once I saw that beautiful head of gorgeous hair, I knew exactly who he was sitting with. “Yeah,” I said quietly.

“You weren’t wrong,” Franny said, her tone bitter. “She is beautiful, with legs that go on forever, and a body to die for…”

“Don’t rub it in,” I said.

Franny turned back to me then, downing the rest of her drink. “Finish up,” she said then, and I was immediately filled with relief, thinking we’d be going home after this.

I finished my drink, and Franny and I left some cash on the bar before hopping down from our chairs. As we had to pass the VIP area before leaving, I thought nothing of it, but my stomach proceeded to flip-flop when Franny came to a full-stop in front of it. “Franny, what are you…?” I demanded then, but she pinched me, silencing me.

“Liam!” she gushed. “Is that you?!”

“Franny, hey!” Liam said, stepping down the stairs and giving her a hug. “Great to see you. And you, Iana,” he said, his beautiful, silvery eyes burning into me for a moment before they flickered back to Franny. “Please, join us.”

Franny accepted Liam’s offer and pulled me after her, and we sat in the small loveseat beside the couch that Liam and Illiana were sitting on. “I don’t believe we’ve met,” Franny said, extending her hand towards Illiana. “I’m Franny.”

“Oh, of course, Franny!” Illiana said, her voice just as polite as the time I’d met her. “It’s such a pleasure to meet Iana’s cousin,” she went on, taking Franny’s hand in her own. “I’m Illiana. It’s always so wonderful to meet friends of Liam’s.”

“I should say the same,” Franny replied, and looked over at Illiana’s ring. “I’d say that congratulations are in order.”

Illiana blushed, kissing Liam’s cheek. “I was so surprised and delighted when he pulled this out after her business ended in Italy last summer,” she said, moving her hand this way and that so as the obnoxious diamond could catch the light.

“It’s beautiful,” Franny assured her.

“Thank you!” Illiana replied, her voice filled with genuine appreciation. She turned to look at me then and smiled. “I hear all about your brother’s trial, Iana. It is all over the news outlets. I’m so sorry that they put you on the stand. It was highly inappropriate, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t,” I replied, snapping at her, before my face flushed. “Excuse me,” I said, getting to my feet and dashing out of there. I ran down the back hallway and into the ladies’ room, before splashing cold water on my face. Even the fucking bathrooms were beautiful… I shook my head, turning around and opening the door, and came face to face with Liam.

“Hi,” he said softly.

“Hey,” I said, and did my best to move past him.

“Iana, wait, please,” he said, catching my wrist as I walked by. “Can we just talk for a moment, please? Just a moment, I promise.”

“What about Illiana?” I sneered.

“Don’t worry, Franny’s entertaining her,” he replied. “Please.”

I sighed, and followed him up a set of stairs near the restrooms and we came to a series of doors, one of which he opened, which revealed a beautiful office. The room was complete with a finely-polished walnut desk, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a great number of paintings on its various walls. “La Belle Dame Sans Merci,” I said quietly then, my eyes coming to rest upon one of the paintings before me, depicting a beautiful woman looking imploringly up at a literal knight in shining armor.

“I see you’re familiar with Waterhouse.”

I shrugged. “He’s one of my favorites.”

“Mine, too,” Liam said, and, when I turned to look at him, he was smiling.

“I hardly came up here to discuss artwork, Liam,” I said, crossing my arms. “How in the hell do you have access to this room, anyway?”

He sighed. “This is my club.”

I scoffed. “Of course it is,” I muttered. “Ironic, the name.”

He blinked. “Ironic? Why?”

I shook my head at him. “Unbelievable. It’s because you’re a known liar, of course!” I said, spreading my hands.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Elaborate, please.”

“You said yourself you weren’t the relationship kind,” I said, putting my hands on my hips, “and this was June, a mere four months ago. And you come back from a business trip to Italy this summer with what? A fucking fiancée on your arm!” I said, my voice shaking with a sudden burst of emotion. “I mean, what am I supposed to think, other than the obvious, which means that you lied to me!”

Liam shook his head. “I know how this looks, Iana,” he said, his voice civil. “And, if I could give you all the reasons for why this happened, I would, but…”

“But you can’t tell me, because you’ve decided that I’m too stupid to know anything,” I said, my tone bitter as I moved to leave. “Fuck you, Liam. Fuck you. You broke my heart four months ago, and expect me to just lie back and accept it. Well, I can’t. I can’t accept it, and I won’t. I vowed to never care about someone the way I care about you, but I guess I have fucking feelings, something you’ll never know how to have.”

“You don’t think I have feelings, Iana?”

“It’s perfectly clear what you do and don’t have,” I shot back, tears blinding me as I stood before him then. “I’ll always, _always_ be trash to you. Unworthy of knowing all about your personal life and why you are the way you are. You couldn’t possibly have feelings of any kind for me, and you made that perfectly clear four months ago.”

“How’s this for feelings?” he said, grabbing ahold of me then without hesitation, and yanking me towards him, and, despite my protests, and screaming that I hated him, once his lips met mine, all rational thought went out the window.

Immediately, as we made contact, and I tasted him, all hope was lost. I anchored my mouth under his then, my tongue eagerly meeting his as I gripped onto his arms, and he allowed his fingertips to graze every which way of my back. I broke away, however, but made no moves to get out of his grip. “What about Illiana?” I whispered.

“What about Axel?” came his reply.

I shook my head at him then, pulling away completely then, and making my way towards the door, my heart heavy, and my soul heavier. “This is not happening, Liam. Not again. I won’t let myself be swayed by kissing or anything like that. You had your chance with me, Liam Kennedy, and you lost it, from the minute you told me that we could only ever have fucking. I refuse to just have that with you, while you’re with Illiana in public and I’m with Axel. It’s not fair, is it, that we can’t, for just a little while, be honest with each other?”

“I am being honest with you, Iana…”

“Yeah,” I said, my tone bitter, “behind closed doors and omitting half the truth. I know it’s fucking complicated, whatever it is that you’ve got going on with Illiana, but I don’t give a shit how complicated it is. If you would just let me in…”

He sighed. “You know I can’t do that, Iana.”

I nodded. “Right,” I said. “Well, I guess I can’t change your mind…”

“Wait,” he said, and I wrapped my hands around the door handle, “don’t go.”

I sighed. “I have to go, Liam, because I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired,” I whispered. “I’m so tired of all the lies and your half-truths. Get a life. If you want me in it again, I need the truth, because I think I might need you, too,” I said, my voice breaking at the end as I forced myself from the room, and back down into the club.

“Hey,” Franny said when I caught up to her.

“Where’s Illiana?” I asked.

“Ladies’ room,” she reported. “You okay?”

“No,” I replied. “Ready to go?”

She nodded, getting to her feet. “Sure,” she replied, putting an arm around my shoulder and leading me out of there. “Are you going to be okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah,” I said quietly, forcing a smile to my lips. “I’ll be okay.”


	5. Off the Record

The exhaustion had successfully permeated my entire body as the trial continued, and even though I knew I would not be called upon the stand again, I knew that Yev would be needing my constant support as the trial continued. Of course, Dad was supporting Yev, treating him like a son throughout the proceedings, and Pops and I always sat in the first provided gallery bench whenever either of us was available, not to mention the fact that Desmond had been there for Yev from day one. I was very happy that I’d decided to introduce the two of them, and even though they came from two opposite sides of the social ladder, Desmond seemed to care less, and his entire family, Lacey in particular, was completely supportive of their relationship.

“Tell it to me straight, Pops,” I said, as we stood there, in the foyer of the courthouse, waiting for our case to be called. It was quiet, as Yev, Dad, and Desmond were prepping in the conference room, so Pops and I were left to our own devices for the time being. “Just, rip the band-aid off, you know? Are you upset with me?”

Pops turned and looked down at me, before he put an arm around my shoulder. “Kiddo, the last thing I want is you going to jail for perjury.”

I blinked, angling my head so as I could look up at him. “Wait. You’re not going to disown me or anything for spilling out a dirty secret of our family?” I whispered.

Pops sighed. “As much as I love you and Yev, kiddo, factually speaking, neither of you should’ve been here, but I think whoever’s responsible for it made a good judgement call,” he said, squeezing my shoulder and kissing my forehead. “The last thing I’d want to do, after all this time, is be without my kids.”

I smiled, standing on my toes and kissing his temple. “Thanks, Pops. The last thing I’d want to do is go without you, too. You’ve made this entire process bearable somehow. You, Yev, Uncle Ian, and Hailey are all I really need, at the end of the day.”

“Not Axel?”

I sighed, my shoulders deflating then as I considered it. “Well, after his attempts to get me in bed with him failed, I had to resort to extreme measures…”

“Do I really want to hear this?”

I scoffed. “Probably not,” I said, forcing a grin onto my face. “All I know is, given the unspoken things between Liam and me, and my behavior recently…” I shrugged my shoulders. “All I can say now, Pops, is that things have to end sometimes so as other things have the capability of having a healthy beginning.”

“You think you’re going to end things with Axel?”

“If I ever want to be happy again, maybe,” I said quietly, turning then as the conference door opened, and Yev looked relieved to see us standing there. I ducked out from under Pops’s arm then and dashed towards him, leaping up into his arms, while all the while, Dad and Desmond looked on indulgently. “Everything okay?” I asked him, pulling back and looking up at him. “I mean, you’re all prepared and everything, right?”

“I’m in Nicholas’s capable hands now,” Yev replied, turning and looking over at Dad. “I know it’s just more people spouting shit about me today, but I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Pops said, his voice firm.

“You know you shouldn’t believe any of it,” Desmond said, and Yev turned to look at him, a loving expression on his face, which Desmond was quick to return.

“There is one more matter up for discussion,” Dad said then, and we all of us turned to look over at him. “Nothing has to be decided today, but, I figured you’d want to know as soon as possible so that you have ample time to make the decision.”

“What decision?” Yev asked.

“You need to decide in a week if you’re going to take the stand,” Dad said levelly, and I raised my eyebrows that this hadn’t been brought up before. “You’d take it a week from today, if you decide to, and I can’t tell you what to do here. I can advise, of course, and, given that you’re sworn to tell the truth, you would implicate yourself. The choice, however, in this situation, is yours to make.”

Yev sighed. “I’ll make the decision,” he replied. “But can we just get through court today before I think about it?”

Dad nodded. “Of course we can,” he said, squeezing Yev’s shoulder as a bailiff emerged.

“Cook County Department of Corrections versus Yevgeny Milkovich?”

“Here,” Dad said, raising his hand. “We’d better get in there,” he said to Yev, and Yev said quick goodbyes to us all before they went to their appointed table.

“Thank god you don’t have to take the stand,” I muttered to Desmond as we moved to walk through the doors after him.

“Don’t they usually ask significant others?” Pops asked.

Desmond laughed. “I wasn’t his significant other at the time of the crime,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Had I been, I’d be more likely to be on the list. But once that fact became known, I didn’t automatically become public enemy number one.”

“You were never my enemy, Des,” I said, squeezing his hand as we moved to the bench that we’d been frequenting since the trial began.

He laughed again. “Somehow, I believe that, given that you were the one to arrange the meeting with Yev in the first place.”

The district attorney arrived soon thereafter, along with other forms of spectators for Yev’s trial that afternoon. I leaned back on the bench then, feeling that, despite everything, I felt secure between Pops and Desmond. I knew that nothing could happen to me at this point, given that I’d already testified, but I was worried about what the D.A. would end up putting Yev through, if he himself decided to testify.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” said a familiar voice then, and every hair of my body stood on end as I turned my head, my mouth falling open as Axel slipped onto the bench, and very nearly protested when Desmond moved over so that we all of us could sit together. “How’re you doing, Iana?” he asked me then, leaning in and kissing me.

I swallowed then, keeping my mouth closed despite everything, feeling my brow pucker automatically at my boyfriend’s presence in the courtroom. “I… I’m fine,” I managed to get out, all the while staring at him. “What are you doing here?”

Axel smiled. “I always come whenever I’m available,” he said lightly. “You’ve just had day shifts at Patsy’s whenever that’s true.” He looked over at Yev then, who turned around at the sound of Axel’s voice, and the two of them shook hands.

“Thanks for coming,” Yev said, and smiled at him.

Axel nodded, leaning back and putting an arm around my shoulders. “Don’t mention it, man,” he said quickly then, his voice polite as he turned back to me. “So, are you happy to see me?”

I opened my mouth to reply, and caught Pops’s stare, and immediately knew that I had to play it cool during court proceedings. “Yeah, of course I am!” I replied, and threw my arms around Axel then, feeling like a rat. “What a surprise!”

“Glad you’re happy,” Axel said, kissing my cheek before turning to talk to Pops.

“Are you happy, Iana?”

I turned and looked at Desmond, raising my eyebrows. “What?”

He sighed then, leaning in closer so that nobody in the courtroom could hear us. “Liam mentioned what happened in the club the other day…”

I felt my mouth go dry. “Did he?”

Desmond looked uneasy. “We’re business partners, Iana, as well as best friends,” he said gently to me, and I sighed. “I saw the camera footage, and Liam confirmed it.”

I dragged my hand over my mouth. “Fuck,” I whispered.

“It didn’t go that far, from what I saw,” Desmond put in, and I looked back up at him. “You can’t keep acting that way, you know.”

I nodded. “Don’t you think I know that, Des?” I asked, my voice shaking. “Don’t you think I want to stop?”

He spread his hands. “Do you want to?”

I nodded again. “Of course I do.”

“Then, what’s stopping you?” he asked.

I swallowed. “Don’t make me say it, Des. Please.”

“Iana, I’m asking as Liam’s friend. What’s stopping you?”

I crossed my arms. “I’m not telling Liam anything.”

“All right, how about Yev’s boyfriend, then?” he asked, and gave him a petulant expression. “It would be easier to answer then, right?”

I shook my head. “Nothing about this is easy…”

“Do you have feelings for him?”

I scoffed. “No fucking way am I answering that…”

“Well, it would be easier to stop if you didn’t, right, Iana?” he asked, and I felt my nails digging into the palms of my hands. “Do you have feelings for Liam? Is that why you’re finding it difficult to stop acting like this? Both of you?”

I sighed, turning to fully face him then. “I want to stop, Des,” I whispered then, feeling the tears threatening to escape my eyes. “I want to stop, more than anything, but I can’t. It’s too hard, because he’s fucking right. I do have feelings for him, and I want them to stop, more than anything, because he broke my heart,” I said, turning forward again as the bailiff announced that the judge was coming.

. . .

I felt the need to get out of the house that Saturday, but still make an attempt to be productive, and I was pleased when Mom agreed to watch Hailey, and I took off to Patsy’s to cover for her during the night shift. Saturday nights were never too busy, so it was just me, Franny, and Yev working there, as darkness surrounded the diner. I hadn’t seen much of Franny or Yev; Franny was busy in the back office mostly, while Yev was cleaning up the back. Yev had taken over night kitchen duties, which meant more money in his pocket, and he found that he had a flair for cooking that seemed to run in the family.

I just cleared the bill of the final customer of the night, and flipped the sign over so that the world knew that we were ‘Closed’ for the night until the Sunday breakfast rush. I turned around then, sensing that it was suddenly too quiet for two Milkovich’s and one Gallagher. Shaking my head and forcing not to let the situation get to me, I went behind the counter and put the tip the customer had given me into my safe spot beneath the register. I got to my feet then, popping the joints in my back and wandered over to the kitchen window. I found myself automatically raising my eyebrows; the dishes from the customer’s last order were clean, and the kitchen was spick and span, but something didn’t feel right to me.

When I heard the voices from down the hallway as I walked towards the employee locker room to take my apron off, I knew I was in for trouble. “Dammit,” I muttered to myself, throwing my apron down on the bench and stomping down the hallway. There was no mistaking that the voices were coming from Mom’s office, which Franny frequently worked in whenever Mom took the night off, and, as I threw the door open, it was plain to see that Franny and Yev were at each other’s throats. “Hold on, hold on!” I said, throwing my hands up and shoving myself in between them, and away from each other. “What’s going on?!” I demanded, rolling my eyes when the two of them began screaming explanations. “One at a time!” I said, taking a coin out of my pocket.

“Tails,” Franny said.

“Heads,” Yev muttered.

I flipped the coin and landed it on the back of my hand, covering it with the other. Pulling it back, Lincoln’s head stared back at me. “Great,” I said, turning to Yev. “Go ahead. What was it this time?”

“More trial bullshit,” he said, crossing his arms.

I nodded. “Okay. How so?”

Yev scoffed. “Essentially, Franny blames me for her failed marriage!”

“I never said—!” Franny shouted.

“Franny, it’s still Yev’s turn,” I said, massaging my temples. “What did she say that makes you think that she thinks you’re the reason her marriage is on the rocks, Yev?”

“She said that Clark didn’t turn me in and I should just shut up about it,” Yev replied.

I sighed, looking up at Yev. “Did you say that Clark had you arrested?”

Yev shook his head. “No. I just said that it’s a possibility.”

I turned and looked over at Franny. “Okay, Franny. Can’t you admit that Clark is definitely a suspect in whoever turned Yev in?”

Franny looked annoyed, but nodded. “Yeah,” she said, crossing her arms. “I mean, despite everything, he’s my husband, and I love him…”

“Nobody’s telling you not to love him,” Yev said softly.

Franny looked over at him. “Look, I’m sorry,” she said. “My marriage is failing, I have to help run a restaurant, and I have a son who constantly asks me, ‘Mommy, where’s Daddy Clark?’ It’s just been hard…”

“I know,” Yev said. “It’s been hard on me, too. All I know is that there’s gotta be someone working against the Milkovich family. Just wish I knew who it was.”

“And I have to run this place, too, plus I’m in college, and I have a daughter who says, ‘Mama, come home and play with Hailey’ constantly. I love her,” I said, spreading my hands, “but there’s just a lot.”

Yev crossed his arms. “Not to mention your boyfriend.”

I glared at him. “Hey!”

“Yeah,” Franny said, smirking. “Among other things…”

I whipped around to face her. “You swore you wouldn’t say a word!” I hissed at her.

Franny sighed, rolling her eyes. “Fine,” she muttered.

“And as for you,” I said to Yev, turning back to him, “no more talking about Clark until it works out one way or the other, or Franny says you can talk about him.”

Yev sighed. “Fine.”

“And Franny,” I said, turning back to her, “you need to realize that everyone has shit going on, too, so your shit isn’t the only shit that matters.”

She nodded. “Will do.”

“And both of you,” I said, spreading my hands, “I’m going to throw in the towel and be done with you both if you don’t stop acting this way. Immature,” I said, filling in the blank before either of them could ask. “I love you both. You’re my brother and my cousin, and I can’t just cut either of you out of my life, and I won’t. But the both of you need to come together and realize that this behavior is unacceptable.”

Yev nodded. “You’re right.”

Franny smiled. “Won’t happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t. Yev and I will be taking our leave now,” I said, grabbing Yev by the shoulder and hauling him out of there.

We grabbed our things from the employee locker room, not really saying anything to one another as we put our coats on and gathered our tips. I walked outside first to warm the car up, and Yev followed soon thereafter, getting into the passenger seat. I fired my beast to life and drove down the dark alleyway, making my way towards our houses, gently tapping the palms of my hands from where they were at ten and two on my steering wheel.

“That was really great, what you said in there,” Yev said quietly.

I rolled my eyes. “Can’t say what side of the family I get it from,” I admitted, “but Aunt Debbie always said I could command a room, just like Aunt Fiona.”

“Just wish I could be looked at in an amazing way,” he said.

“Hey,” I said, coming to a stop at a light and looking over at him, “you _are_ amazing, Yev. You’re my brother, and I love you. Plus, Pops, Uncle Ian, my dad, and my mom… They all love you a whole hell of a lot, too. And Hailey loves you… Everyone loves you, Yev. And even Desmond’s crazy about you…”

“Saw you two talking in court last week.”

I cleared my throat in an awkward manner then, pulling through the intersection as the light turned green. “Mmm-hmm,” I said, nodding. “We talked…”

“Anything you’d care to share?”

I sighed. “Not really.”

He nodded. “Just thought I’d ask.” Yev remained silent then until we arrived into our neighborhood proper, and he let out a small sigh as I parked in front of my house. “Think I could come in?”

I turned and smiled at him. “Want some Hailey time?”

He grinned. “Always,” he replied.

I nodded, hopping out of the car, Yev just behind me, and we respectively slammed our doors behind us, and I locked them as we walked through the gate and up the stairs. I unlocked the door quickly, and saw Mom and Dad on the couch, Hailey still awake, and, even though it was a bit past her bedtime, I couldn’t complain, because I loved seeing her at the end of a long day. I immediately gravitated towards them, and Hailey lifted her arms upwards, and I took her, kissing her forehead, turning to face Yev.

“Look, baby,” I said. “Uncle Yev came to say hi!”

“Yev-Yev!” Hailey said, clapping.

Yev reached out, and Hailey took his finger into her grasp for a moment, before she became distracted by my hair and let Yev go, before Yev turned and looked at Dad. “Nicholas, I was hoping I could ask something…”

Dad got to his feet and smiled. “You need money or something?” he asked.

“No,” Yev said quickly, looking slightly hurt, and Mom glared at Dad for insinuating that Yev was merely looking for a handout.

“Dad!” I hissed at him.

“Sorry, that was insensitive,” he said quickly. “What did you want to ask me, son?”

Yev sighed, knowing that it was monumental, whatever it was he wanted to discuss. “I came by to say that I want to testify,” he replied.

. . .

Yev’s testimony two days later was a success, in that Yev told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Dad had worked with him tirelessly, informing him what was both on and off the table via questioning, and told him that he would object as often as he could. However, it looked good for the D.A. when Yev had to admit, in open court, that it was him who physically assaulted Terry, and I felt like I could vomit at how pleased the D.A. looked at Yev’s facial expression, one of devastation, even though he knew the question was coming.

I had finished my afternoon shift at Patsy’s that Friday, and had just picked up Hailey from daycare, when I got a text message. I buckled Hailey into her carseat and got into the front, pulling my phone from my pocket and examining it, slightly shocked to get a text message from Desmond, but everything was shocking these days. I unlocked my phone and accessed the messaging app, pulling up the text quickly.

 _Get your cute little butt home from picking up the adorable princess_ , _ASAP_ , _Iana_! _The four of us are going out tonight_ , _and I_ ’ _m driving_! _Meet you at yours at seven_.

I sighed, automatically realizing that I was in for a double date, which meant that I had to spend an obligatory evening with Axel. I couldn’t fault Desmond for it; he wanted to show Yev a good time in case the trial didn’t go in our favor, plus there was the notion that he was Liam’s best friend, and didn’t want either of us to wreck our respective relationships. I could admire Desmond for showing loyalty to Liam, and compassion for Yev, but I worried that I would be forced into these kinds of situations again and again, and although I didn’t know the most reasonable way out of it, I knew I had to figure one out.

 I stepped into the house when I arrived, Hailey in my arms, and brought her to the kitchen, where I sliced an apple and some cheese for her. Setting her in her high chair at the kitchen table, I considered who would want to watch her on my behalf that night, but a quick text from Yev figured out the problem for me. Yev said that Pops and Uncle Ian would be glad to take her for the evening, and I was relieved that childcare wasn’t an imposition for my family. They all adored Hailey, and it was pleasant that I never had to beg anyone to look after her.

I brought Hailey over to the house about an hour before Desmond’s arrival, before getting back to mine so that I could get ready. I wore a black and shoulderless bodycon dress with laces going up each side; it was a Nell’s Rags exclusive, one that I’d worn for a dinner overseas. I felt confident in the dress, I thought to myself as I curled my hair for the evening, and stepped into my pair of black pumps to top it all off. I put on thickening mascara and a flash of deep red lipstick which appeared to make my lips thicker, and found I could easily pass for twenty-one, now that I’d done some work on myself both inside and out.

I heard Desmond honk from outside at the appointed hour, and I grabbed my matching clutch which housed my phone, I.D., keys, mascara, and lipstick. I grabbed a simple black wrap in case the autumn evening turned colder, before heading downstairs. I called out a goodbye to Dad and to my younger siblings, and playfully rolled my eyes at their respective farewells. I stepped outside and into the darkness, pulling my wrap more closely around me as I shut and locked the door behind me, going down the stairs and towards Desmond’s silver four-door Lamborghini which was seriously his baby.

“Hey,” I said, slipping into the back when I noticed Yev riding shotgun, and raised my eyebrows at the empty backseat. “Am I third-wheeling, or what?” I asked.

Desmond grinned at me in the rearview mirror. “Not likely,” he replied, pulling the sleek car down the street. “Axel’s meeting us there.”

“Right, of course,” I said quickly, trying my best not to sound disappointed.

We pull up shortly thereafter at a building that is the very essence of modern architecture; its main color was a deep silver, while the sign, boasting the restaurant's name, was an attractive and appealing gold color. The letters of the establishment’s name glowed in the dark, which was a very good idea, from a business sense, as it made the space pop.

Desmond pulled around and got a space easily on the street, and I thanked Yev when he helped me out of the car. We made our way to the double doors, and I noticed that Axel was already inside and waiting for us. He hadn’t seen me yet, so I hastily plastered an appropriate smile onto my face, which was not lost on Desmond, but he said nothing. We stepped inside together, and I walked over to Axel, as was the custom for romantic couples, and allowed him to put his arm around my waist, and to kiss my cheek.

“Glad you made it,” he said.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Yev replied.

“I _did_ make the reservation,” Desmond joked, “so, I was always going to be here.” He stepped up to the hostess desk then, informing them of our reservation, while the rest of us stood back to let him take care of it.

“How’d the stand treat you?” Axel asked Yev.

Yev shrugged. “You know, the usual. The D.A. trying to make me look bad at any given opportunity, of course.”

Axel nodded. “Of course,” he replied, shaking his head. “Never liked him.”

“You’ve met the D.A.?” Desmond asked, returning to our side.

“Law enforcement benefit dinner via Humphrey,” Axel replied, and Yev and I looked away awkwardly when he mentioned his abuser by name. “His idea. My mom was sick and couldn’t go, and he doesn’t really talk to my brother-in-law or nephew anymore.”

“Tragic,” Desmond put in. “So, he’s an asshole?”

Axel smirked. “The D.A. or Humphrey?”

Desmond laughed. “The D.A.”

Axel nodded. You could say that, yeah.”

“Are they ready to seat us?” Yev asked.

“They’re clearing our table now,” Desmond replied. “Shouldn’t be too long.”

“That’s a relief,” I replied. “You know, I was almost used to walking in heels when I worked for Penny, but now that I’m back at the diner, sneakers are where it’s at.”

The hostess arrived back on the scene shortly thereafter, and we were shown to a four-person table with a bench on one side and chairs on the other. Yev and Desmond took the chairs, and Axel allowed me to slip onto the bench first. Menus were handed over, and I mentally crossed my fingers that someone would take over-long in ordering, so I could use the beast of a thing to hide my face and avoid discussion with Axel.

“They have caviar here?” Yev whispered.

“Sure do,” Desmond replied with a grin. “Want to get some?”

“I wouldn’t,” Axel put in. “Highly overrated, if you ask me.”

“Depends on the fish they get it from, and where it’s caught,” Desmond explained in a patient manner to Axel. “You may have gotten some cheap stuff.”

“Could’ve, I guess,” Axel said with a shrug, turning his attention back to his menu. “Have you ever had caviar, Iana?”

I blinked, lowering my menu as I turned to look at him. “No. You know that my mom and I hate seafood, Axel. I’ve told you this…” In fact, I remembered telling him the first time, before that disastrous Christmas party when things ended the first time.

“Right,” Axel said, picking up his water class and sipping it. His eyes boasted deep circles underneath them, and it was then, for the first time, that Axel looked his age of thirty. He appeared to be distracted, as well as exhausted, and I wondered if it was because he was deliberately scheduling himself for double shifts at the prison.

A waiter arrived shortly thereafter, regarding all of us then. “Can I interest anyone in something to drink?” he asked.

“I’ll have a bottle of Old Style, thanks,” Yev replied.

“Half-glass of Chardonnay, please,” Desmond said.

“Cranberry juice on the rocks, if you would,” I said, grinning at the waiter.

“And for you, sir?” the waiter asked Axel.

“Bottle of Old Style is fine, thanks,” Axel said.

“Very good,” the waiter said, smiling at each of us in turn. “I’ll get those going for you,” he said before breezing away from the table.

“Hey,” I said, briefly showing him compassion as I put my hand on his arm. “Are you doing okay, Axel? You don’t seem like yourself…”

He sighed, lifting his eyes up momentarily to see Yev and Desmond in deep conversation, so we neither of us would be interrupted. “It’s Humphrey,” he admitted.

I blinked, inching closer to him. “Yeah? What’s he doing?”

He bit his lip. “Mom’s getting worse, and he keeps encouraging it,” he muttered. “He’ll invite me over, and I think it’ll be all of us, but it never is…”

I swallowed. “Does he still?”

“He tries,” Axel replied, looking sick. “He says that it’s not wrong anymore, because I’m not underage, but…”

“But, in your mind, you’re the age that you were when it first started,” I said softly, and shook my head then, knowing the feeling all too well. “I’m sorry, Axel. I didn’t know it was still going on, really…”

“No, of course you wouldn’t,” he replied, cutting across me. He got to his feet then, startling Yev and Desmond, and tossed his napkin on the tabletop. “Excuse me. Nature calls,” he said, and immediately went towards the back.

“He okay?” Desmond asked, pointing after him.

I sighed. “He’s not himself tonight…”

“I’ll go talk to him,” Yev said, halfway getting up.

“No, no, let me,” Desmond said, smiling at Yev. He kissed him before he left the table, and I smiled at how at ease they both seemed to be with one another, and lowered my eyes back to my menu, wanting to avoid a Milkovich interrogation session at all costs.

“Talk.”

I swallowed then at the firmness at the back of Yev’s voice, and slowly raised my eyes upwards to lock with his. “What?” I asked.

“Talk,” he said again. “Don’t think you’re getting out of it.”

I muttered under my breath, hastily deciding on the only chicken dish the menu offered, before I shut it, placing my hands on top of it. “What do you want to know?”

“Many things,” he said. “For example, who really turned me into the cops? Why you’re clearly dissatisfied with your romantic relationship? Or, and this is going for the gold now, why you and Franny are clearly keeping secrets?”

I looked away from him. “We aren’t keeping secrets…”

“Clearly, you are,” Yev replied. “At Patsy’s the other day, you got vehement with Franny when she brought up something that happened. Was it at the club?” he asked, crossing his arms, and my face immediately flushed as I remembered that evening. “It was at the club, wasn’t it? That’s what you’re avoiding talking about?”

I gave a stiff nod. “Yeah…”

“Okay, then tell me,” he said quietly, and I slowly looked up at him. “What was so bad that you don’t want me to know?”

I sighed. “I don’t want anyone to know.”

“No judgement here, Iana. Remember that.”

I felt my eyes fill momentarily with tears, before I quickly brushed them away. “Franny and I wanted to go somewhere new, so we got into the hot new place Downtown,” I said softly. “What we didn’t know was, it was Liam’s club, and he was there…with Illiana.”

He sighed. “I see. And, let me guess, you couldn’t control yourself?”

I nodded then, the shame washing over me. “Bingo,” I whispered.

“How far did it go?”

I looked up at him then, slightly angry. “It’s not like I fucked him in his office, for Christ’s sake, Yev!” I shouted.

“Keep your voice down,” Yev said, and I sighed. “Okay. So, you didn’t have sex.”

I shook my head. “No. We… We just kissed,” I replied. “That was it.”

“But it wasn’t really it, was it, Iana?” Yev asked, and I locked eyes with his again. “Clearly, you have feelings for him.”

I shrugged. “Maybe…”

“Okay,” Yev said, obviously not wanting to push it. “You know what I’m going to say to you right now, Iana?”

I bit my lip. “To tell Axel immediately and make sure it never happens again. Am I right?” I asked, tapping my fingers on my menu.

“No,” he replied. “But you know as well as I do that honesty is the best policy.”

I crossed my arms. “You gonna rat me out if I keep my mouth shut?”

“No,” he said again. “But I think you need to be honest here.”

“Right, with Axel,” I muttered.

“First with yourself,” Yev said, his words catching me briefly off-guard then as I forced myself to look up at him, “then with Axel.”

. . .

I was doing the morning shift at Patsy’s the following day; my plan with Yev was, as he got on around three in time for the after-school crowd, dinner rush, and closing shift, was that he would watch Hailey for me. He would then take my car with Hailey to work, and I would take Hailey and return home. My plan for the evening was to get some essay work done, as I had some work due later in the week. I found myself just finishing up taking an order during the early afternoon, before I handed off the duty to another waitress and walked back to the office, where Franny was stationed, filling in the ordering document.

“Hey, am I cool to take a smoke break?” I asked.

“Sure,” Franny said.

“Back in ten,” I told her, flashing a smile. I walked down the hallway and through the employee locker room, before stepping outside. I leaned back up against the brick work of the building, and pulled my sweatshirt closer around me. It was a cool day in mid-November, and I knew that keeping my wits about me during the next handful of days was important. I reached into my pocket and took out my pack of cigarettes and my lighter, effortlessly lighting up the stick of tobacco, before placing it between my lips.

I leaned my head back against the building, savoring the feeling of the inhalation of the tobacco in my lungs, before slipping the cigarette out of my mouth and letting the breeze carelessly take off its end. I licked my lips then, slowly opening my eyes, allowing my shoulders to relax against the back of the building. It was then, as I lifted the cigarette back to my lips, that I heard the sound of a car along the alleyway. Perplexed, knowing that only employees were typically allowed to park back here, I turned my head, my heart immediately thudding in my chest when I saw that it was Liam’s car. My head turned clammy as I extinguished my cigarette then, and remembered my last encounter with him, in this alley, was when my mother revealed to him that I suffered from bipolar disorder.

“Liam?” I somehow managed to say, although my tone was choked, as he flew out of his car and ran right to me. “What’s…?”

“It’s Hailey,” he said breathlessly, his voice full of fear.

I blinked then, shaking my head. “What?” I whispered. “How do you know? Who told you? Why are you here?!” I demanded.

“Ian’s working a double, and couldn’t get reached,” he said. “Your Mom took the kids away for the weekend. Your dad’s in court on an emergency case. Axel’s working at the prison until late and couldn’t get away,” he said, all in one breath. “Desmond and Yev are at the hospital together and I’m here…”

I crossed my arms. “Why?” I whispered. “Why are you here?!”

“Because Desmond told me to be,” he said simply. “Come on. Get your stuff. I’m driving you over there.”

I nodded, knowing that it was for the best, and flew through the employee door, and was surprised to see Liam following me. “What are you…?”

“It was an allergic reaction, as far as I know,” he said quickly, diving for my locker, and my eyebrows shot up when I saw that he remembered which one it was. “Go tell Franny that you’re taking off early.”

I nodded again, running for the hallway, my heart very nearly beating out of my chest; I had never seen Liam like this, and it touched my heart that he seemed to care so deeply about my daughter’s well-being. I ran for the office then, throwing open the door, the tears suspended on my lashes as it came open at my hand, and forced the words from my lips as Franny stared at my unexpected arrival, shocked.

“Hailey’s in the hospital,” I said.

“Jesus,” she said, getting to her feet. “You’d better get over there, then.”

“You sure?” I whispered, my voice trembling.

“Of course,” she said quickly, pulling me briefly into her arms. “What can I do?”

“My mom is away with the kids…”

“Okay,” she said, pulling back. “She gave me an emergency number to call, so I’ll see if I can try that. Hey,” she said, and my eyes rose to hers. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

I nodded. “I hope so,” I said, breaking away from her and stumbling back towards the employee locker room, untying my apron faster than lightning. “Ready,” I said, throwing it into my duffel bag, which Liam zipped.

Liam gave me a nod then, before he turned around, me at his heels, and led me back outside and towards his car. He threw my duffel into the back seat, while I climbed in passenger side and did my best to buckle my seatbelt. “They’re at Mercy,” Liam said steadily as he pulled out of the alleyway. “I hope you don’t mind, but I called in some favors. Hailey’s getting the best care that they can provide.”

I blinked, turning and looking over at him. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know I didn’t,” he said softly, turning back to me. “But I wanted to.”

I gave him a small smile then. “Thank you,” I said.

He nodded. “You’re welcome.”

We drove the rest of the way to the hospital in virtual silence, although I did thank him for the ride and for handing over my duffel once we arrived. I was slightly taken aback when he parked near the emergency room entrance, and felt my eyebrows raise when I saw that the spot was reserved for him. Pushing it out of my mind, we flew in through the automatic double doors, and I sprinted towards the front desk.

“Hi, excuse me,” I said, panting slightly. “My daughter, Hailey Milkovich, was recently admitted due to an allergic reaction…”

“Name?”

“Iana Milkovich,” I replied, handing over my I.D.

“Ward seven,” said the woman.

“Thank you,” I said, and Liam and I bolted to the correct ward. “I’m Hailey Milkovich’s mother,” I managed to get out at the second desk.

“Yes, of course, Miss Milkovich,” said the woman, smiling at me. “Her uncle arrived with her about thirty minutes ago. Room 175.”

“Thank you so much,” I said, and Liam and I took off down the hallway, coming towards the room and throwing open the door. “Baby!” I said, throwing down my bag and dashing forward, relieved to see a bandage on her arm, and her triumphant smile. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here! Mama was at work…”

“Everything is fine with Hailey, Miss Milkovich,” said the doctor, standing beside Hailey’s bed with a considerate smile. “I’m Dr. Partridge, by the way.”

“Dr. Partridge, I was told it was an allergic reaction…” I said.

“Hailey has an allergy to shellfish,” she said carefully. “Do you or her father happen to share that allergy?” she asked.

“I have it,” I said softly, turning back to Hailey and stroking back her hair. “I never gave her any just in case…”

“Her uncle was extremely apologetic,” she said quickly, and I was relieved that she didn’t seem to blame Yev for what happened. “Apparently, they got her fish and chips for lunch, but she snuck one of their battered shrimps when him and his boyfriend weren’t looking.”

“It could happen to anyone,” I said, leaning down and kissing her forehead. “My tongue swelled when it happened to me. My mother freaked out,” I said, laughing slightly. “But Hailey’s going to be okay, right Dr. Partridge?”

“We’ve given her an injection to stop the symptoms, but there’s no guarantee that they won’t stop altogether,” she said carefully. “We’d like to monitor her for the next four hours, just to be sure that she doesn’t have another attack.”

I nodded. “Of course, Dr. Partridge,” I said, looking around, and only spotting Liam, who had remained in the doorway. “Where is my brother?” I asked.

“He took a moment with Desmond,” Dr. Partridge said carefully. “He only just left before you and Mr. Kennedy showed up.”

“Understood,” I replied. “Did he happen to mention where he was off to?”

“The courtyard across the way,” she said, nodding to where Liam stood. “Just down the hallway there, beside Mr. Kennedy. I think he needed a breather.”

I smiled, turning back and seeing that Hailey was slipping into sleep. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Will she be all right if I go and see him?”

“I was just about to check her vitals and take some notes on her,” Dr. Partridge said. “Please take your time, Miss Milkovich.”

“Thank you,” I said. “And please, call me ‘Iana’.”

“Very well, Iana,” she said, smiling at me as I slipped from the room.

I didn’t tell Liam not to follow me, and we walked out into the courtyard together. “Yev!” I said then, and dashed towards him, and he did the same, from where he and Desmond sat on a stone bench beneath some kind of pine tree.

“Is she okay?” he asked, and I noticed his eyes were red-rimmed.

I nodded, smiling at him as I pulled him into my arms. “She’s going to be fine,” I assured him, keeping a tight hold on him as he sobbed with relief. “I have the allergy, too, Yev, so not to worry about a thing. Promise me you won’t worry.”

Yev sighed, pulling back. “I’ll try not to.”

I nodded, wiping his tears away. “Good,” I said.

It was when a door opened from behind us then that I thought it would be another doctor cutting through here as a shortcut, but I felt my heart pounding all over again when I saw what I saw. I immediately stood in front of Yev, knowing what was going to happen, and yet I felt completely powerless to stop it. I shook my head as the men in blue stepped forward, their expressions ones of impatience, and I loathed them all the more.

“Yevgeny Milkovich?” the first one asked.

Yev sighed from behind me, but nevertheless stepped forward, and squeezed my hand as he walked by. “That’s me.”

“Conditions for your bail were that you adhere to a strict schedule,” the man went on, his tone filled with malice. “You broke your conditions, as you did not show up for your work hours this afternoon, Mr. Milkovich. As such, your bail is hereby revoked,” he said, and stepped forward, successfully yanking Yev away from us, while his other two goons cuffed him.

“No!” I shouted, stepping forward.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Desmond demanded then, and took off after them, while I stood back, and felt Liam’s hand on my shoulder.

“Liam,” I whispered, my voice breaking then, as I turned around and threw myself into his arms, sobbing. “They just took him…”

“Desmond’s on it, Iana,” he said gently, holding me against him. “It’s all right…”

“They took him away,” I whimpered.

Liam sighed, gently pulling me back slightly and looking down at me. “It’s going to work itself out eventually, Iana,” he said, and wiped my tears from my eyes.

I shook my head then, hating myself for doing it, but knowing that control had officially gone out the window. I stood on my toes then, just as Liam yanked me towards him, kissing me. I felt as if I’d found something I’d lost, while at the same time, I still knew that I had yet to completely be found.

. . .

I went over and over with Yev two days later that it wasn’t his fault, about what had happened with Hailey, which had landed her in the hospital. I didn’t want him to blame himself, as the entire situation had been an accident. Even though he insisted he would pay me back the bail money that I’d lost, I refused to take it. It would take him years to pay me back, for one thing, and for another, I honestly didn’t care. He was my brother, and he had helped save my daughter’s life, so, as far as I was concerned, I owed him everything.

I felt sick for asking Axel for a favor on Sunday night, after they took Yev to Cook County. It was lousy timing; one, because the judge was set to give his verdict on Yev that Friday, so him getting his bail revoked was terrible. And as for two, I felt extremely bad for what I’d done with Liam at the hospital, and kept my fingers crossed that Axel wouldn’t find out. Axel spent the night at my parent’s house on Sunday, because I needed him close to me, and although we didn’t have sex, he seemed to think that I was too upset about Yev, which was partially true.

Friday couldn’t come soon enough, and I’d very nearly thrown up several times in anticipation for the end of it. The last thing I wanted was for Yev to land himself in jail for a decade or more, and even though the D.A. hadn’t offered a plea bargain, Dad still assured me he had high hopes for the verdict. I sat there, on my typical bench, with just Axel for company that day; I was completely rigid, unknowing what the eventual outcome would be.

Almost as if he sensed my anxiety, Axel reached out and took my hand. He smiled slightly then as I turned to look at him, and he pressed his lips to my forehead, and for some reason, I allowed him to do so. “Don’t worry,” he whispered out the side of his mouth. “It’s going to be fine.”

“We’ve been stuck in here for two months, ever since I came back from Los Angeles,” I said back to him, the anxiety filling my voice, not wanting him to find out about all the times in the last few weeks that I’d betrayed him. “I’m sorry if this has been such a pain in the ass to you, Axel, really, but Yev’s my brother…”

“You don’t have to explain it to be, Iana. I get it,” he said, squeezing my hand, which sent nervousness through my entire body. “We took the three months that you were gone to take a step back, and I’m relieved to have you back in my life again.”

I smiled then, the unexpectedness of the gesture catching him momentarily off-guard; he was actually being kind to me, even though I clearly didn’t deserve it. “I’m glad to have you back in my life, too, Axel,” I said then, surprised I could actually say it.

A door opened off the side of the courtroom then, and I launched to my feet as Yev was led out of the back room. Garbed from head to toe in a yellow jumpsuit, his wrists and ankles shackled in place, my heart went out to him as he was led forward. I threw my arms around him once he was close enough, and Dad, as his lawyer, was able to get the shackles in his wrists undone so that he could hug me back.

“Are you okay?” I whispered, trying to keep the tears from my eyes as I clutched onto him, my arms wound tight around his frame.

“I’m fine, Iana, really,” he said, his voice quiet and subdued as he squeezed me back for a moment, before his eyes looked around the courtroom. “No Desmond today?”

I sighed, pulling back. “No, sorry. Most of his texts to me are asking me to take Penny and Lacey’s phone calls, but today something came up with the company. He’s sorry.”

Yev nodded. “It’s cool,” he replied. “And Pops?”

“Trying to prevent Mom from killing Terry,” I replied. “Uncle Ian is serving as back-up. As for the rest of them, they’re working.”

“We’ll make do with what we’ve got, then,” he said, turning to Axel.

“How’re you doing, man?” Axel asked, and the pair gave each other one-armed hugs. “They treating you all right in there?”

He shrugged. “Best of a bad situation all around, I guess.” He hesitated for a moment then before he looked up at Axel. “Listen, I’m sorry about all this. I didn’t want to run…”

“It’s okay, Yev,” Axel said, cutting him off, squeezing his shoulder. “Although Iana had to explain to me what happened, I’ve come to understand her way of thinking.” Axel turned to me and smiled. “She just didn’t want to lose her brother. I can accept that.”

Yev smiled. “You’re good for my sister, Richland,” he said, chuckling.

“Hey,” I said, playfully shoving him back. “Not up to you.”

It was the movement of the bailiff stepping forward that freaked me out slightly, and my heart thundered in my chest as Axel never let go of my hand. “All rise for Judge Vincent,” said the bailiff, before returning to stand in his original position.

Yev sighed, smiling at us both before he moved back to stand with Dad.

Judge Vincent swept out from his chambers, moving to his chair and shuffling the paperwork he held before him. “Be seated,” he said, and waited until everyone was sitting. “Today we begin sentencing for Yevgeny Milkovich. Mr. Milkovich, you’ve pled no contest to the charge of assault and battery towards Terry Milkovich, your grandfather, a crime that was originally pinned on that of your sister, Iana Milkovich. Miss Milkovich has previously testified that she took the blame for the crime, not only due to her brother’s record, but because she believed that she had instigated the crime itself, and because she didn’t want to lose another member of her family. I am prepared to make a ruling on sentencing today. Will the defendant please rise?”

Yev got to his feet, and Dad stood beside him, squeezing onto his shoulder.

“The sentencing for the accused, Yevgeny Milkovich, will be as follows…”

TO BE CONTINUED


	6. Broken Dreams

“Yevgeny Milkovich, you will be given a plea deal of probation for one year, during which time you shall serve six months of house arrest, with the condition being you may only leave house for work, attorney-client meetings, or other pre-approved activities. You will also be given a strict curfew, which will adhere to your work hours, which your attorney shall give to me, once you’ve received them yourself. You will be outfitted with an ankle bracelet, and assigned a probation officer by the end of business today, and I expect never to see you in my courtroom as a subject again.”

Yev nodded then. “Yes, Your Honor,” he replied.

Judge Vincent gave a stiff nod. “I’ve spared you jail time today, Mr. Milkovich, because I’ve seen just how devoted your family is to you, and because I believe your arrest one week ago was an abhorrent miscarriage of justice. I hope to see you go on to do great things, Mr. Milkovich, and I believe you can do so, with the foundation and support of your family.”

“Thank you, Your Honor,” Yev said softly.

“Court is adjourned,” Judge Vincent said then, slamming his gavel before he swept from the room in a plume of black and white silk.

Suddenly, as if a firecracker had been lit off completely beneath me, I found myself shooting to my feet, shouting “Yev!” almost immediately, and threw myself through the gate separating us. Just as Yev shook Dad’s hand, he turned around to face me, chuckling then as I threw myself into his arms. “You get to come home, Yev! You’re not going to jail! Never, never, never!” I chanted, refusing to let him go, while all the while I found myself sobbing with relief.

He laughed, pulling back from me then and squeezing my shoulders. “Mind if I call my boyfriend now?” he asked, and I was shocked that he was asking my permission.

I shook my head. “No, of course not,” I said, flashing him a smile and giving Dad a hug, before I walked back over to Axel. “Sorry about that,” I replied.

“Hey, you were worried,” he replied, kissing me on the cheek. “I actually have to head back to the prison now. I took a little longer on my lunch break…”

I shook my head. “No, I get it,” I said, smiling at him. “You go ahead. Dad has to get back to the firm, and I promised Yev a ride home, but I think he’ll wanna meet Desmond.”

Axel grinned. “Congratulate him for me, will you?”

I nodded. “Will do,” I said, accepting his hug and waving goodbye. I turned around then, and saw that Dad was walking out with the D.A., and turned back to Yev, who was just wrapping up his phone call. “Is Des meeting you, or…?”

“Can you drive me to his place?”

I smiled indulgently. “Of course I can,” I replied.

“Great,” he said. “Just gotta hit the men’s room.”

I nodded. “Good call,” I said, following him out.

“Iana?”

I turned then at the sound of my voice, and felt Yev stiffen next to me. “Liam?” I said, my voice trembling slightly.

“I’ll give you two a minute, despite my better judgement,” Yev said, narrowing his eyes at Liam for a moment before walking to the men’s room.

“Can we talk?” Liam asked.

I sighed, biting my lip. “Yeah,” I said, and walked past him, into a deserted conference room. “In here,” I said, motioning him forward, and he complied. “Yev has a years’ probation,” I said, and knew I didn’t want to give him the long version. “I suppose Des will give you the rest of the information, if you want it.”

Liam nodded. “Sounds good.”

I raised my eyes to his then, forcing myself to look up at him. “What are you doing here?” I asked, not even wanting to believe for a minute that he’d been looking for me.

“Just taking care of something,” he replied.

I nodded, knowing that it was none of my business anyway. “Right,” I said, rolling onto the backs of my heels.

“How’re you holding up?” he asked. “I mean, you must be glad that Yev doesn’t have to serve a decade in prison, right?”

“Of course,” I replied. “He’s my brother.”

He hesitated for a moment then, and, finally, he stepped forward, and I cursed myself for allowing a gasp to escape my throat. “Why are you doing this, Iana?” he asked then, and cradled my face in his hand.

“Doing what?” I whispered, my eyes locked with his.

“Holding me at arms’ length,” he said, and I looked away. “I know you better than that, just like you know me better than that.”

“Clearly, I don’t know you are all!” I said, yanking back and away from him, hot tears escaping my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. “Mr. I don’t want a relationship… And yet, three months later, you come back from Italy with a freaking supermodel on your arm!” I cried out, my voice trembling then, as I finally allowed myself to say what needed to be said.

“Iana…”

“No! I’m talking now!” I said, narrowing my eyes at him. “You did all the fucking talking when you told me to get out, like I was some one-night-stand, like I didn’t mean anything to you, and you said you didn’t do relationships… You’re fucking engaged, Liam! What? Am I just South Side trash to you? A ghetto girl? Was I not good enough for you?!”

“Iana, that’s not it…”

“Well, what is it, then?!” I demanded, my voice shaking. “One minute, you practically beg me to leave Axel for you. I pretty much do that, and throw myself at you, I might add, and then, once the sun came up, everything changed. It’s like all those weeks and months of the hints and the burning, just beneath the surface, meant nothing to you! I don’t fucking understand you, Liam, I just don’t.”

“I talked to Desmond,” he said, and I felt my face flush.

“Oh, I’ll bet you talked to Desmond,” I muttered. “Best friends talk, after all. I can’t wait to hear what he said…”

“He said he knew something, but then he said that I needed to talk to you about it,” he replied, and I swallowed, the tears making no efforts to stop themselves. “I know as well as he does, as well as everybody does, Iana, that, clearly, you’re hurting…”

I scoffed, turning away from him and crossing my arms. “You don’t know shit about me, Liam, and, clearly, you don’t want to know, because you could give a fuck…”

“I do give a fuck, Iana, Jesus!” he yelled then, and my eyes snapped back to his. “I’m scared as shit that I’ll lose you…”

“You fucking lost me five months ago, Liam,” I said.

“Don’t,” Liam said, closing the distance between us then. He yanked me towards him, and my body reacted fully then, and I threw my arms around him then, my lips meeting his, anchoring my mouth to his, standing on my toes, my fingers tangling in his hair, never wanting this feeling to end, ever…

“No,” I said then, my voice forcing itself from my throat, sounding as broken as I felt as I shoved him away from me. I walked over towards the door. “You’ve lost me, Liam…”

“Iana, please,” he begged.

I raised my eyes to his then, one last time, and shook my head. “No,” I said, my voice firm as I wiped the tears from my cheeks. “You lost me five months ago, when you broke my heart. This, whatever it is, is over. It’s done now, Liam,” I said, forcing the words out then as I opened the door, and slammed it behind me.

. . .

“How’re you holding up?” Yev asked quietly, as I drove him away from the courthouse, and away from Judge Vincent, who had not sentenced him to prison.

I shrugged. “I can’t complain, because I’m not supposed to complain,” I said levelly, gripping my steering wheel in front of me, and attempting to focus on the road.

“Iana, you know you can tell me anything…”

I shook my head. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Yev. I just don’t trust Des not to run to Liam the minute I say something about him.” I sighed, coming to a stop at a traffic light and turning slightly to face my brother. “I love you, you know I do, but I…” I bit my lip. “I don’t know what to feel right now, okay?”

He nodded. “I can understand that.”

We continued the drove to Des’s condo, and I let Yev out, telling him to have a good time. Dad had arranged that the ankle bracelet wouldn’t bet fitted onto Yev until tomorrow, and so Yev got to spend the night with his boyfriend. I smiled at the notion of their relationship, knowing that, despite the fact that I had feelings for Des’s best friend, I officially had to get a handle on it. I had Axel back in my life and, despite everything that had happened between us, he didn’t deserve to have a cheater for a girlfriend.

I drove across town then, picking up Hailey from daycare early, and brought her back to the house, which was empty, due to the kids having school, and Mom and Dad having work. I sighed, keeping ahold on Hailey as I brought her upstairs, my mind working a mile a minute. As I stepped into my bedroom, still holding Hailey, I realized, for the first time, that the list of crazy shit I’d pulled in my life was remarkably short. I shook my head then, pressing a kiss to Hailey’s temple before putting her into her crib, knowing that I’d have to get a larger bed for her at some point, for the time would come where she’d be spilling out of it.

I got onto my phone then, and went to my banking website, surprised that I had more in my account than I’d originally anticipated. It seemed as though Penny’s bonuses for me securing those three deals, as well as the many work hours I’d put forth, were more than I thought. I smiled to myself then, a sudden thought coming to me of what to do with the money. I sent Mom a text before I bought a pair of plane tickets, letting her know I was going away for a while. I wasn’t running, I assured her of that; I just needed to breathe some different air for a while. I quickly packed up Hailey’s things and mine, bringing along my laptop so as I wouldn’t fall behind in my college courses, and turned to look over at my daughter.

“We’re going somewhere, sweetheart,” I said gently.

“Hailey go, too?” she asked, her eyes shining.

I grinned at her. “Yeah, baby. You’re going.”

“Go where, Mama? Go where?” she asked, lifting her arms to be taken out of her crib then, and I crossed the room, pulling her up and into my arms.

“New York, darling,” I said gently, taking our things out of there and moving for the staircase, wanting more than anything to get out of the house before anyone tried stopping me.

“What’s New York?” she asked, managing to say it.

“It’s where Aunt Fiona lives,” I explained, unlocking the front door and letting us outside. “We have to get on a big airplane to get there.”

“Airplane!” Hailey chanted, excited as I shut and locked the door behind us. I took her down the stairs then, through the makeshift yard and through the gate, before I opened the back door of my car and strapped her into her carseat. “Mama and Hailey go?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, sweetheart,” I said, kissing her forehead as I put her baby bag in the well close to her feet. “Mama and Hailey go.”

. . .

“Yeah, Mom, I know we talked about me not running away from my problems,” I said, doing my best to keep ahold on Hailey as I walked through LaGuardia, and tried to figure out what the best way to get to baggage claim was. “I’m sorry. I know that I said from now on I’d talk to you, Dad, Pops, or Uncle Ian if I needed anything, or there was an issue, but…”

“No ‘buts’, young lady,” Mom said, her voice firm on the other side of the phone, and I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you roll your eyes at me!”

“What?” I demanded, shocked that she would know such a thing, and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the indicator for baggage claim was just ahead. “I wasn’t…”

“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered, and I knew she was likely dragging her hand through her hair. “You are so like your father.”

I smirked. “I take that as a compliment.”

“Not helping,” she said, going back into mom mode again. “Does Fiona at least know that you and Hailey are coming?”

“Yeah, Mom, she…”

“Iana!” came a shout through the crowd, and, turning, spotted Aunt Fiona.

“Speak of the devil,” I muttered. “She’s here.”

“She’s there?”

“Yeah, and I’m safe,” I replied, hugging Aunt Fiona as she came through the crowd towards me, mouthing ‘thank you’ to her when she took Hailey from my arms, and who seemed pleased at the attention, for we’d frequently spoken to her via Skype.

“Tell my sister ‘hi’ from me, then,” Mom said.

“Hey, sis!” Aunt Fiona called out.

“Hi, Fi!” Mom called back. “You’ll behave?”

“Yeah, I’ll behave,” I replied. “Can I go now?”

“Yeah, you can,” she replied. “Love you.”

“Yeah, love you, too,” I said, cutting the call. “Sorry about that.”

Aunt Fiona smirked, positioning Hailey firmly on her hip. “Your mom is just as much a Gallagher as I am,” she said, putting her arm around me and squeezing my shoulder, before she steered me towards baggage claim. “And you, little Miss Hailey, are even prettier than you are on a computer screen!”

“Auntie Fi-Fi!” Hailey chanted over and over as I walked towards the carousel. “Hailey loves Auntie Fi-Fi this much!”

I turned and looked over my shoulder for a moment, and smiled to myself when I saw that Hailey’s arms were stretched out as far as they could go. When the buzzer for the baggage claim went off then, I turned my attention back to it, looking over the spinning wheel mechanisms for mine and Hailey’s luggage. I hummed softly to myself as it spun around and around, not even trying to think about what I’d done. I was doing what my own mother had done when shit got hard; I’d run. She ran when she figured out she was who she was, and again when things got hard with Dad, before they were married. I was not my mother, I knew that much, but I sure as shit needed to cop being similar to her.

“She’s out like a light, isn’t she?” Aunt Fiona asked, once we got back to hers and Uncle Jimmy’s beautiful home. “Thanks for letting me put her to bed.”

I smiled, saving my document on my laptop and putting it aside. “No problem,” I replied. “She needed to see her Auntie Fi-Fi,” I said, and we laughed. “I still can’t believe you and Uncle Jimmy agreed about that co-ed boarding school for the kids!”

Aunt Fiona laughed, tossing her dark brown hair. “Well, it was the best educational opportunity for them. Besides, it’s only a year program, and they’re safe, seeing as staying with your Uncle Liam in Los Angeles. Jimmy thinks we need to teach them independence, and, if they like it, they can go back in the future.”

“But they can come home in the summer, right?”

She nodded. “Of course. But we’re willing to let them stay with Liam, or go to Chicago to see you guys, if they so choose.” She hesitated for a moment, before reaching out and tucking a stray bit of hair behind my ear. “Sorry about Jimmy working the long shift. He’ll join us tomorrow in time for dinner, though.”

I shook my head. “All good,” I assured her. “He’s the CEO or whatever of the practice, so naturally his work is important to him. I just hope he carves out enough time to spend with you and contact the kids.”

“Well, the plus side about LA is that they’re three hours behind us,” she replied. “So, if he gets home at midnight, it’s only nine o’clock there, so they’re still up.”

I nodded. “Makes sense.”

“So, tell me about you,” she went on, reaching out and clutching at my hands. “The last time we spoke was just before Franny’s and Clark’s wedding. I know they split, because me and Franny talk, of course, and about Yev’s arrest, and your mom mentioned the whole job thing…”

I sighed. “Yeah,” I replied. “Gallagher’s and Milkovich’s just can’t seem to catch a goddamn break, now can we?” I said, smirking slightly.

She laughed a little then. “No, but I’m serious, Iana,” she said, peering into my face, and when I bit my lips, she nodded to herself. “I knew it had to have been something. Your mom ran whenever things got shitty,” she said, and I lowered my eyes. “Come on, I’m not going to chastise you or anything,” she said quickly. “Just tell me what’s up.”

“Lotta shit, Aunt Fiona,” I replied, my shoulders slumping as I leaned, sideways, into the couch cushion located just beside my left shoulder. “I… Well, you know the brief synopsis I gave you about my job at Nell’s Rags?”

“Yeah, Jimmy even checked out their revenue online after you mentioned you were hired,” she replied, and she sounded impressed. “He was amazed that someone so young had such a head for business, but he was really proud of you for jumping in the water with both feet and accepting the job like that. We both were.”

“Guess you could say that there was a conflict of interest,” I said softly, “given that I’d been fucking my boss’s son before I got hired…”

“But that was a while ago, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah, a while ago. Fuck, I mean, for pretty much the entirety of the job itself, I was back together with Axel, as you know.”

She nodded back. “Yeah, I know. But I don’t think that’s really a conflict of interest so much as just plain awkward. I mean, Jimmy said more than once that, if I’d been in that situation, that he’d be worried I’d want to get back with the former guy…”

“The thing that Axel didn’t understand was that Liam and I never had anything,” I said, ripping my hands from hers as the spark of anger from old wounds ignited within me, as I got to my feet, and began pacing the living room. “It wasn’t anything, and it couldn’t have been anything, because Liam and I had an agreement, but then, things went to shit, because Penny thought it would be helpful for Liam to come on trips with me, and of course I liked the fact that he was there to help, but then we got too close, and things went to hell with Axel, because I hate it when a man is right…”

“You go too far?”

I sighed; I realized then that I was facing away from her, and then I figured out that I was crying, the silent tears streaming down my cheeks. “We kissed, and I stopped it, but it didn’t stop me from starting it,” I replied, my voice trembling. “Of course, it didn’t help that Axel and I had just finished what proved to be our main argument…”

“Which was?”

“He wanted me to move in with him… Well, me and Hailey,” I said softly. “But I didn’t want to do that, because…”

“Because he was right?” she asked.

I shuddered at the notion of it all. “After the kiss, the trips continued, and I just forced my way through them, but knew that the end was near when I woke up in bed with him, and he just…”

“Assumed you’d slept together?”

“Well, of course I fucking did!” I cried out then, whipping around and facing her. “What sane person wouldn’t?!”

She shrugged. “Can’t think of one.”

“When I confronted him on it, he promised me that nothing happened, but I hated myself for feeling disappointed,” I said, and dragged my hands down my face. “Then, after Axel did what he thought what the gentlemanly thing to do, and stepped aside, I went to Liam, and I just laid my cards down on the table, just… Wanting him to know that I wanted him and I wasn’t going to hide from that fact anymore…”

“What did he do?”

“We fucked,” I whispered. “It’s what we do best, at the end of the day. Well, fuck and making out, because that’s all, he said, we could ever have. The next day, he pretty much threw me out and said that that’s all I meant to him…”

“Jesus Christ,” Aunt Fiona whispered.

“I just couldn’t do it anymore, you know?” I said, crossing my arms and leaning back up against her mantlepiece. “I couldn’t go back to work and risk running into him… So, I quit, via a voicemail message,” I said, laughing bitterly. “Not the most practical or polite thing to do, but I just couldn’t take the fucking Kennedy family anymore…”

“Penny didn’t try to get you back?”

“She still does,” I said, my voice flat. “Mostly does it through Lacey, the twin sister of Yev’s boyfriend, Des, because I refuse to talk to her…”

“You’ve seen him since then,” Aunt Fiona said softly then, and my eyes locked to hers. “You wouldn’t be this upset if you hadn’t.”

I huffed, which Aunt Fiona took as a confirmation.

“Okay. What happened?”

“He’s engaged to a fucking Italian… Supermodel!” I cried out then, throwing up my hands in a moment of exasperation and heartbreak. “But he still plays with me. Whenever we see each other, the tension between us is palpable, and we’ve…”

“Fucked?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Not since he and I did before the wedding.”

“But, you’re back with Axel…”

“I give him fucking head so he’ll stop being such a pussy,” I shoot out then, feeling dirty just mentioning my pastimes with the man who was my boyfriend.

“Iana?”

“What?” I asked, forcing myself to look at her.

“Do you want Liam back?”

“Why would I want that sorry son of a bitch in my life when I have other things to…” I was cut off from a scream from the next room, and sighed. “Son of a bitch,” I muttered, leaving the living room and marching into the room Hailey had, and flipped on the light. “Hey, sunshine,” I said gently, smiling at how precious she looked, standing there in her crib. I crossed the room and promptly picked her up, and felt secure when she wrapped her arms around me. “Are you all right, angel?”

“Mama gone,” she sobbed in my arms.

“No, Mama’s just outside, sweetheart,” I said, my voice soothing as I kissed her on the cheek. “I told you that this is practice for when you have your own bedroom someday.”

“Hailey want Mama…”

“And Mama is right here,” I said, moving towards the rocking chair in the corner of the room to continue to sooth her, when I caught sight of Aunt Fiona in the doorway. “This is my life,” I said then, smiling at her as I sat down in the chair. “I’m an assistant manager at a diner, with bills to pay, and a one-year-old daughter, who I love more than anything in the world. I can’t have Liam in my life, if he doesn’t keep shit straight with me. I just can’t,” I said, turning back to Hailey, who lifted up her arms again, and I pulled her closer, knowing that hugs would never get better than this.

. . .

I caught an Uber home after my flight back from New York; snow fell on the ground on the dark streets as we drove away from O’Hare and towards the South Side. I had been MIA for nearly three weeks, and although Hailey’s daycare organization was forgiving, I had to swear via email that something like this would never happen again. It was close to midnight when the Uber pulled up at the house, and I thanked the driver, giving him a large tip for getting me home with my daughter, and heading upstairs, pulling my suitcase behind me.

I was pleased that the entire household seemed to be asleep as I took Hailey upstairs, tucking her into bed as the numbers on my phone continued rolling over, and a new day began. I pressed a kiss to my daughter’s forehead and pulled the crib cage upwards, locking it into place. Then, in the darkness, I changed into a tank top, hoodie, leggings, and a pair of long socks before I walked over to my bed. Just as my head was about to hit the pillow, my phone chimed, and I swore under my breath, lifting up my phone and reading the text.

 _Don_ ’ _t try and stop me_. _I know it_ ’ _s late_ , _but I_ ’ _m coming over_. _We need to talk_.

I swore under my breath at Axel’s wording, but nevertheless shoved my comforter out of the way and made a grab for Hailey’s baby monitor. I grabbed my snow boots from under my bed and pulled them on, before trudging downstairs and opening the front door. Axel pulled up in front of the house and I shut the door behind me, walking down the stairs and towards the gate, which I opened as he got out of his car and stepped onto the sidewalk.

“You couldn’t wait another eight hours?!” I hissed, crossing my arms, slipping the baby monitor in my hoodie pocket. “I just spent over two and a half hours on a plane, plus another half an hour on the road, with a one-year-old! I am fucking exhausted!” I cried out, yelling and whispering all at once. “Why couldn’t you have waited?!”

“You sent me a fucking one-lined text, Iana,” Axel replied, his voice tight, as he did his best to control his anger. “What was I supposed to think?”

“I told you where I was going and that I needed some time,” I said.

“Time?” He scoffed, dragging a hand through his hair. “Time for what?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know! I needed to fucking think!”

“Think?” he shot about. “Think about how you ran into Liam at the courthouse and were holed up with him in a goddamn conference room for ten minutes?!”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “What are you insinuating?” I whispered.

“I’m insinuating that you’re fucking Liam behind my back, Iana!”

I gritted my teeth. “I’m not fucking anyone, Axel.”

“You’re not fucking me,” he said, crossing his arms. “That’s for sure.”

My hands flexed automatically from inside my pockets then, and I knew full well I was itching to hit him. “Why does it matter?” I asked him. “Are you jealous?”

“I don’t know,” Axel said, his voice actually having some sense to it this time. “Do I need to be jealous, Iana?”

I sighed, my shoulders slumping. “No, you don’t need to be jealous,” I whispered.

“Because there’s nothing going on between you and Liam?”

I shook my head. “No. Because we shouldn’t have started, whatever this was, again,” I said, and Axel lowered his eyes. “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… This is mainly on me. Yeah, I came to you for comfort, because I needed a friend when shit hit the fan last summer, and I’m sorry if I mislead you, really, I am. You’re a great guy, Axel; you’re just misguided, like the rest of us are in the world. I really didn’t mean to hurt you, but the fact of the matter is, what you and I had, and we did have something… It ended a long time ago. I should have known it ended when I was fourteen, before the trial. I wanted it to be true, that we still had something, but it wasn’t, and I blame myself for that.”

“Is it because of Liam?” he asked, his tone non-accusatory. “Is it because you still have feelings for him, and he broke your heart? Anyone can see that he did, Iana,” he went on, smiling sadly down at me.

I sighed. “He did break my heart, Axel, and yeah, I do still have feelings for him,” I said softly, allowing the truth to hover between us. “But, no. This isn’t about Liam. This is about me, and Hailey, and not dwelling on this past. This is about me making a better future for myself, and for my daughter. I need to focus on my career and my child now, Axel, and it would be easier if I did have feelings for you…”

“You can’t force those things, Iana,” Axel said, his tone bittersweet, “and I wouldn’t want or expect you to.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry,” I said again.

He smiled at me. “I know. And I’m sorry, too.”

I stepped closer to him then, pulling him into my arms and just hugging him. “I think the tragic events which marred our childhood helped bring us together when we needed each other,” I said softly to him. “I can never thank you enough for understanding me.”

“Neither can I,” he replied, pulling back. He kissed my forehead before he smiled down at me for the last time. “If you never need anything…” He said, inching towards his car.

I nodded at him. “You, too,” I said.

He smiled at me, putting up his hand. “Goodbye, Iana.”

I nodded. “Bye, Axel,” I said. I stood there, motionless but for my waving hand, watching as he got into his car and pulled out of the space. The snow had picked up again, and I looked across the street, seeing a light still on. It was then that I ran, the keys jingling in my pocket, and opened the door without hesitation. I breathed a sigh of relief when Yev was already standing there, as if he’d been waiting for me, before I threw myself in his arms.

“You want to talk about it?”

I sighed. “Eventually, I will,” I replied, my voice trembling.

“Saw you outside with Axel,” he said, keeping a good grip on me. “What the fuck were you doing out there at this time of night?”

I smiled then, and, through my veil of tears, raised my eyes to Yev’s. “Saying goodbye,” I said simply to him.

. . .

“In all honesty, that’s why I did it,” I said, placing my hands on the small, wooden table that was positioned between Penny and me, in a little coffee shop close by her work suite. “Everything was coming so fast, and I wasn’t thinking clearly, given what had happened between me and Liam just moments before.”

Penny shook her head. “I had no idea,” she said, and I believed her. “He doesn’t like to talk about that part of his life much. But I can’t believe he would treat you like that.”

I sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I should’ve been more professional, and set up a meeting where I stipulated that I wouldn’t want to work with Liam in any circumstances.”

“And Nell’s Rags is fully prepared for that stipulation, Iana.”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

She smiled. “You were the best thing that Nell’s Rags has ever seen,” she said simply. “Lacey’s been trying to do your job since you left and, to be honest, she’s better at modeling than she is at business agreements.”

I found myself laughing. “Oh, no.”

Penny giggled. “It’s all right. The men saw a beautiful woman and signed the papers. It’s a terribly misogynistic world, on this side of things, I know, but, hey, business is business.” She leaned forward then. “Nell’s Rags would be prepared to up your salary, plus place a bodyguard on you at all times, to ensure that the men won’t get handy within the meetings themselves. We want… No. We need you back, Iana.”

I sighed. “Okay.”

She blinked. “Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll come back,” I replied. “I just need one more thing.”

Penny nodded. “Of course.”

“I’m getting my degree in business,” I replied, and she grinned. “My dad pulled a few strings and helped me get into the University of Chicago. He knows the dean or something, owed him a favor. Anyhow, the classes and program are online, but I would need to devote time to that, as well as to Hailey. I wouldn’t want her to have a stranger for a mother.”

She grinned, pulling out a wad of documentation then, before adding a footnote in her own handwriting to one of the pages. She pushed them towards me then, anxiously waiting for me to look them over, and agree to the terms. She let out a plaintive sigh when I signed the dotted line and, with a flourish, she did the same, before she stuck out her hand. “Welcome back to Nell’s Rags, Iana,” she said.

I reached out and took her hand. “Good to be back, Penny.”

. . .

After my conversation with my mother about me returning to Nell’s Rags, and that the final days of the year would be my last, she just said she was proud of me for following my dreams. I was pleased that she had the reaction she did, and spent the rest of my time wrapping the gifts for my family that I’d ordered. Since I’d signed my contract, Penny had given me a massive Christmas bonus, and although I was reluctant to take it, I knew it would ultimately come in handy.

On Christmas Day, we all gathered at the house, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of Hailey, perfect in her Christmas dress. As the entire family oohed and aahed at the various gifts for that holiday season, I slipped out of the house for a moment. I inhaled the frosty air, and fumbled in my pocket for my pack of cigarettes. It was then that I realized that the box was empty, and I smiled to myself for a moment before I crumpled it up, and made a mental note to toss it away, for when it came right down to it, I had the most important job of all. It wasn’t being the CEO of Nell’s Rags; no, it was mothering Hailey. Being there for her was the greatest gift I could ever give her, and I would continue to do so, for the rest of my life.

“Iana?”

I turned at the voice then, and my eyes widened. “Clark?” I asked, pulling my sweater closer then as I trudged towards him. “What are you doing here?”

“I come in peace,” he said, his cell phone in his gloved hand. “Really, I do, Iana.”

I nodded. “Okay,” I said, stepping closer. “What can I do for you?”

“I know who got Yev arrested,” he said then, and my eyes widened, “and it’s not me. I can prove that it isn’t me.”

I nodded then, my heart pounding in my throat. “Give me a minute,” I said, turning and going up the stairs, and stepping into the living room. “Yev, Franny,” I said, and managed to pry them out of the room, and outside.

“You’ve got some nerve,” Yev said, stamping down the porch when he saw that Clark was standing there in the yard.

“Yev, stop!” I shouted, shutting the door behind me and charging forward. “It’s not his fault! Just hear him out!”

“You’re not seriously defending him?!” Franny demanded.

“Look, Franny, we can leave our marriage out of this,” Clark said, raising his voice, and looking amazed that I could hold Yev off. “Just listen to this. Please.”

Yev scoffed, yanking himself away from me. “Fine.”

Clark unlocked the device, pressing a couple of buttons before turning up the volume all the way and handing me the phone. “Just listen,” he said softly.

“I want this done right,” said a shrill voice on the speaker, and my blood ran cold as recognition flowed through me then. “Promise me you’ll do it right.”

“Lady, you’re paying me enough for me _not_ to screw this up,” he said. “Now, tell me again where I can find the deadbeat.”

“The Crystal Gardens,” she replied.

“And the event going on there?”

“A wedding,” she replied. “It’s my whore of a granddaughter’s cousin’s wedding. Nobody important. But she is marrying one of your brother’s in blue.”

“Yeah, whatever,” said the guy. “And my target?”

“Yevgeny Milkovich,” Grandma Allie said, her voice dripping with malice. “I told that wretched girl that when she least expected it, I’d make her life a living hell.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” I whispered.

“No joke,” Clark said.

“Fuck,” Yev said quietly.

“Send me that,” I said, my voice flat, and Clark’s eyes locked to mine. “My dad has to know what kind of woman adopted him.”

“No problem,” Clark said, pulling his phone back to his chest and keying something into it. “It’s done,” he said a moment later.

I nodded. “Great,” I said, moving towards the house, Yev at my heels. I let him inside first, and looked over my shoulder at Franny and Clark.

“So, you really didn’t do it, then?” she asked.

He sighed. “No, I really didn’t do it. I couldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t.”

She nodded. “I know,” she said, sighing then as he pulled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you,” she said, clinging to him.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I understand why you didn’t.”

“No, it’s not okay,” she replied. “I’ve treated you like shit based on your parent’s opinion of me and it stops now.”

“My dad loves you,” he replied as I stepped into the house.

“You mom doesn’t…”

“Screw her,” Clark said firmly. “You’re my wife, and I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Franny replied, as I slowly shut the door behind me.

. . .

“Wonder if they think we’re weird,” I said quietly, flinching slightly as the inked needle dug into my flesh.

“Please. It’s not that weird.”

“Least I don’t have to have my ass hanging out like last time…”

Yev raised his eyebrows. “What the hell tattoo parlor did you go to in LA?”

I rolled my eyes. “Jesus, Yev. It was a fucking joke.”

Yev smirked. “Sure.”

“Okay, record time,” said my tattoo artist, getting to her feet.

“I’m done, too,” said the other, and got to his feet.

I approached the register, smacking Yev’s hands back when he tried to pay, as I handed over my credit card. “You know that since I got my cushy job back that I can afford this more than you can,” I said, flashing him a smile.

“You know the playing your awesome job card every five minutes really isn’t far…”

“Hey, little sister privileges,” I shot back, signing my name on the electronic line before a receipt and my credit card were handed back to me. “Thank you very much.”

“Thank you for getting inked with us today.”

“No problem,” Yev called out to the guy, as we put on our jackets and headed outside and towards my car.

I hopped in and so did he, before I rolled up my sleeve and inspected my tattoo on my right wrist, and he did his, on his left, and I smirked. “Really a lovely thing…”

“What did you say it was called again?” he asked, turning to look up at me. “I know the ‘M’ stands for Milkovich, obviously…”

“It’s an infinity symbol,” I explained. “It means, at the end of the day, we’ll always be part of the Milkovich family, and we’re okay with that.”

Yev smiled. “I like that.”

“It’s essentially a never-ending loop,” I told him.

“Even better.”

“You’ve been quiet recently,” I said, sticking my key into the ignition and pulling out of my parking space. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah, I’m… I’m fine. Just doing a lot of thinking lately.”

“Yeah?” I asked. “About what?”

“My future.”

“Oooh, and wedding bells?” I asked, stopping at a traffic light before turning to look at him, manipulating my eyebrows so that they went up and down dramatically.

He laughed. “I don’t know. Maybe someday.”

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense,” I said, stepping on the gas as the light changed and we pulled into the intersection. “What’s up?”

“I’ve decided I want to go to college,” he replied.

I gasped then, grinning over at him. “That’s great!” I cried out. “Yev, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!”

“Yeah,” he said. “Thanks. I don’t know where I’m going to go yet, or what I’m going to study. I also haven’t said anything to Pops or your dad yet…”

“You nervous to tell them?”

He sighed. “A little,” he admitted. “Will you be there?” he asked then, and I briefly turned to look over at him. “When I tell them, I mean. Will you be there?”

I smiled, touched that he would ask such a thing of me. “Of course I’ll be there,” I replied, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “I’ll always be there, Yev.”


	7. Wouldn’t It Be Nice

“You ask him to move back in?” I asked, shoving the last of my belongings into my duffel bag for the last time.

“Yeah,” Franny replied, keeping a watchful eye on me as I got to my feet, and slammed my locker door shut. “Ezra’s just over the moon.”

“Yeah?” I ask, crossing my arms and leaning back against my locker. “What’d you tell him about Clark not living there for the past few months?”

She sighed. “We told him Clark was on a long assignment,” she replied, tightening her ponytail and squaring her shoulders. “Hey, don’t judge. What have you told Hailey, when she asks you about Axel?”

I laughed aloud then. “Actually, she hasn’t asked me.”

Franny rolled her eyes. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

I shook my head. “Nope,” I said, grinning from ear to ear as Yev stepped into the employee locker room with a smile. “Hey, big bro.”

“Hey, little sis,” he replied, sadness in his face and tone as he took in my duffel bag. “You cleaning out your locker?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Just did.”

He nodded. “Okay,” he said, closing the distance between us and scooping me up into his arms, and I let out a laugh as I dropped my duffel to hug him back.

“No need for waterworks, Yev,” I told him, my voice firm. “I’m just across the street at home if you need me.”

Yev sighed, setting me down. “I know you’re right,” he said, clearing his throat and stepping to the side as Franny moved forward.

“You know I’m going to miss kicking your ass here,” she said, hugging me.

I scoffed. “Please. You know it was the opposite,” I playfully shot back, squeezing her back for a moment before letting her go. “Hey, Mom,” I said, and Yev and Franny turned around as she came into view.

“Back out to the dining room,” she said firmly, but smiled at them to let them know that they weren’t in trouble, and they scampered back to their places. She turned and looked at me then before she nodded her head. “And you’re sure about this?”

I nodded. “I really am. It’s a great opportunity for me, and I’ll be able to get Hailey anything she needs or wants down the line.”

“And you’re okay with working so closely to Liam?”

“He isn’t even a factor,” I assured her. “It’s stipulated in my new contract for Nell’s Rags that I won’t have to work with him in any shape or form. I explained the situation to Penny, and she promised me.”

“Okay, sweetheart, I trust your judgement,” she said, stepping forward and pulling me into her arms, kissing my forehead. She then pulled back after mere moments, and stared down at me, a smile on her face. “It seems like just yesterday we were moving in with Nicholas, and you were telling me you never wanted to leave me.”

I scoffed. “Please. I still live at home…”

She nodded. “I know, darling, and you’re welcome to live there as long as you like. All I’m saying is, I’m proud of you. So proud of you; we all are.” She reached into her pocket and handed me an envelope. “Here’s your final paycheck, sweetheart,” she said, and I reached out and took it. “You’ll be careful?”

I smiled. “I learned my lesson with Hailey and my interactions with Liam that I should always be careful,” I replied. “I’m keeping both of my eyes open from now on.”

“I trust you,” she said again.

I smiled again. “I know you do,” I replied. “And that means a lot to me, more than you know.” I stepped away then, and picked up my duffel. I gave a final glance to the employee locker room at Patsy’s, and raised my hand to my mother. Then, turning, I walked outside the door and into the alleyway, the winter sunlight washing over me as I slipped my leather jack on over my bare arms, before hopping in my car and jetting off towards Penny’s apartment.

Once I arrived, I dusted off the business suit I was wearing and hopped out of my car, trooping towards the building as quickly as I could. I walked through the main doors and went directly towards the elevator, pressing the button and stepping inside once it arrived. Once it left me off at my pre-selected floor, I walked towards Penny’s work suite and unlocked the door, letting myself inside and walking towards my desk beside the window, smiling in exultation when I saw the marketing notes on new business proposals I would have to take a look at.

I pulled the chair out and sat down, pulling the company iPad towards me and putting in notes which would be discussed at the business meeting, later that afternoon. I heard a shuffle in the back room then, and immediately got to my feet, thinking that Penny was there already. I walked towards the back, where the enclosed veranda was, and opened the door, stopping short in the doorway when I realized who was really there. “Oh,” I said, and they turned around when they heard my voice. “Hey.”

Liam looked impeccable in his business suit, and looked me up and down, likely before he could stop himself. “Hey, Iana.”

I swallowed, keeping a good grip on the iPad, which held my notes, and would have to serve as a barrier between us for the time being. “You here for the business meeting?”

He nodded, likely seeing that small talk was out of the question. “Yeah.”

I gave a stiff nod back to him. “Good,” I said, and moved to turn around.

“Iana?”

I felt a lump in my throat at the desperation in his tone and, ignoring my better judgement, turned around and faced him. “Yeah?” I asked.

He looked as if he would say something more personal, but decided to go with the safer question he believed he was allowed to ask. “I looked at your new negotiated contract that Penny drew up per your employment here…”

I nodded. “Makes sense. You two are very close.”

“No, you don’t…” He sighed, looking uncomfortable. “I noticed the clause where you requested that you wouldn’t work one-on-one with me anymore.”

I squared my shoulders, vowing to stay strong. “I did stipulate that within the contract, yeah. I felt, that given our history, and our tendencies to act inappropriately when push comes to shove, that such a thing would not be beneficial to the company.”

Liam slowly strode towards me. “So, what does that mean?”

“It means that, apart from business meetings and company functions, or private parties that we both happen to be in attendance, you and I will not come into contact.”

He blinked. “I’m not following completely. What are you saying?”

“The obvious,” I said, my tone resolute.

“So, what you’re saying here, is that we won’t be taking trips together anymore for the sake of the company?” he asked.

I nodded. “That’s exactly what I’m saying, yeah.” I narrowed my eyes then, and shook my head at him. “And don’t you dare ask me why,” I said, my tone firm as I turned around and marched back down the hallway, “because you know the reason!”

“No, I don’t think I do,” Liam said, coming after me and taking ahold of my shoulder, turning me back to face him, almost effortlessly. “Explain it to me.”

I swallowed then, hating that my body betrayed me whenever I stood close to him. “Because you’re a dirty liar, that’s why!” I shot back. “I know you see me as ghetto trash, Liam! Don’t deny it!” I fired out, as I saw him attempt to stammer around an explanation. “Your true thoughts came out about me once you found out I was pregnant with Hailey, and again when you told me that all I was good for was a quick fuck!”

“That’s not what I meant,” he said, his tone desperate. “You have to believe me.”

“Why should I?!” I cried out, my voice trembling. “Why should I believe one word that comes out of your mouth?! You told me in June that you weren’t the relationship kind of guy, then you go to Italy for the entire summer, drown yourself in expensive wine, and come back with a fucking supermodel on your arm, who has a gaudy ring on her finger…!”

“You know, I never liked that ring either…”

“ _Don_ ’ _t_ joke around about this!” I cried out. “I ran away last summer because I just couldn’t take any of it! I went to California and I saw Andy again.”

“Andy?!” Liam demanded then, his hackles rising far above what was normal, as he looked incensed with anger. “Why were you with him?!”

“That’s none of your business!” I said, knowing that it really wasn’t, but, secretly, I loved that I could make him appear just as jealous as I was. “And it shouldn’t matter to you anyway. You’re engaged, and I’m ghetto trash, remember?”

“You don’t know how badly I want to slam you up against the wall and show you what you mean to me, Iana,” he said, his voice husky.

My cheeks flamed then with a combination of anger and arousal. “That won’t help either of us here, Liam, and you know it,” I whispered to him.

The door opened from behind us then, and Liam immediately stepped away from me. “Iana, you’re early!” came Penny’s voice, and, quickly composing myself, I turned around, plastering a smile on my lips when I saw Illiana coming in behind her.

“Don’t mind me,” Illiana said, her voice kind as she breezed into the room and kissed Liam on the lips, and I felt my insides rolled with rage as she had her perfectly-manicured hands all over him. “I have just come to take Liam to lunch.”

I nodded. “Go have fun,” I said, catching a glance of the abundance of bags that Penny was carrying and setting down near my desk. “Shopping?” I asked.

“Sort of,” Penny said, her tone awkward.

“Just things for the wedding,” Illiana said, and came towards me. “I don’t want to make anything awkward, Iana, but I have no sisters, or cousins, and not many friends. Would you be willing to be one of my bridesmaids?”

Penny looked shocked. “Illiana, I think…”

“She’s not one for dressing up much,” Liam said quickly.

“Oh, what nonsense!” Illiana said, grinning and laughing aloud. “Every girl loves to have a dress created just for her! What do you say, Iana?” she asked, turning back and staring at me with those kind eyes of hers. “I’ve already asked Penny to be my Maid of Honor, and Lacey will be my other bridesmaid. Please, say you’ll do it!”

I forced a smile to my lips then. “What girl can say ‘no’ to the bride?” I asked.

Illiana squealed then, and threw her arms around me, and I did my best not to fall over from the impact of the hug, ignoring Penny’s and Liam’s mixed expressions.

. . .

“She asked you to _what_?” Yev demanded, as I sat with him on the back porch steps, and I yanked the cigarette he held away from him, my first since going cold-turkey exactly eleven days ago. “I just… What?” he asked, staring at me.

I swallowed then, lifting the tobacco stick to my lips and inhaling deeply. “Yeah,” I said, clearing my throat so as I didn’t nearly choke to death from talking too soon. “Just came right out with it in front of Liam and Penny and bam. Now I’m obligated to go to the wedding of a guy that I hate and watch him be in holy matrimony with a woman who’s physically a goddess or some shit,” I said, the last words coming out like a mutter.

“Come on,” Yev said, snagging the cigarette away from me. “You don’t mean that.”

“Uh, have you seen her?!” I demanded, whipping out my phone and pulling up my Instagram account, where Illiana had tagged us both in a photo. “You and social media really need to shake hands at some point, Yev…”

Yev raised his eyebrows. “Holy fuck.”

“Come on. I mean, you’re with Des,” I said, clicking off the account and pocketing my phone again. “Des is best friends with the groom-to-be. Don’t you two do double dates or something on the weekends?”

Yev grinned. “Ever since the judge said I didn’t have to do jail time, Des and me have been spending a lot of alone time together…”

“Okay, no, don’t tell me,” I said, covering my ears as Yev howled with laughter. “But, come on, I mean, you must’ve met her…”

He sighed. “Nope.”

I tore my hands off my ears, taking the cigarette from his extended hand. “What? Why haven’t you met her?”

“Because I don’t really see Liam socially,” he said quietly.

I blinked, bringing the cigarette to my lips again and inhaling deeply, blowing out the plume of smoke before handing it back to him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, that ever since he pulled that fast-one on you last June, I told Des I don’t want to have anything to do with Liam,” he explained.

“And he’s fine with that?”

Yev grinned. “Oh, he’s more than fine with that.”

“Okay, again, no,” I said, my voice firm as Yev grinned, sticking the cigarette into the side of his mouth and looking cocky.

He sighed then, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and allowing the night air to take its smoke up into the clouds. “I know you’re not really okay with this.”

“Okay with what?”

“What else? Liam getting married.”

I made a grumbling noise and scooted closer to him, putting my head on his shoulder, and Yev responded by picking his arm up and putting it around me. “Maybe,” I said quietly.

“Not maybe. It’s a definite,” he said softly. “You don’t need to lie or pretend when it comes to me, Iana, you know that.”

I sighed. “I know I don’t, it’s just…”

“What?”

I swallowed. “I don’t know. Something’s in the way…”

“Illiana?” he asked.

I sighed. “No. Well, yeah… But I don’t mean that, fully. I mean, the notion that I even want to be with someone long-term is foreign to me…”

“You were with Axel, weren’t you?”

I bit my lip. “I was just going through the motions,” I replied, breaking away from Yev and pulling my legs into my stomach. “I was with him because he needed me, and I needed him, and, believe me, I know how fucking selfish that sounds, so you don’t need to tell me…”

“Point taken.”

“Liam makes me feel in a way that I’ve never felt with anyone before,” I said. “I mean, with Axel, it started out with sex, and we never really developed beyond that. I saw Axel as an authority figure and, therefore, needed to conquer his authority through sex, which is a total power move, and then I wouldn’t see him as above me in any way…”

“Because of Tommy?” he asked.

I nodded, turning to look at him. “Yeah,” I said, forcing a smile to my lips.

“Don’t do that.”

I blinked. “Don’t do what?”

“Force happiness,” he said, reaching out and squeezing my shoulder. “I know when you’re doing it, Iana, whenever you do it. I’m your brother. All I know is, I want and need you to be real with me; authentic. I don’t want you placating me with fake emotions and just playing nice twenty-four seven. You can show me the real you, no matter what.”

I sighed, my entire body deflating, as I felt my eyes filling with tears, although, like panes of glass, they were unable to break the surface. “Everything’s fucked,” I whispered.

He nodded. “Tell me why.”

I bit my lower lip, pulling it into my mouth in an attempt to ignore the wave of pain that I felt, but found that I was unable to do so. “Mixed signals…”

“What has that son of a bitch done now?!” Yev growled, and my eyes snapped to his. “If he’s hurt you again—!”

I shook my head, and this was enough to cut him off. “Just what he says, and what his words do to me,” I said, my voice faint. “I can’t help it, and I’m not sure he wants me to help it.”

“Of course he doesn’t. It’s a total dick power move,” Yev said heatedly.

I shrugged. “I just don’t know anymore,” I said, dashing the tears out of my eyes and leaning against the beam of the outer side of the porch. “All I know is, that there’s something fishy about this quickie-engagement to Illiana.”

Yev nodded. “How do you figure?”

“No idea. It just seems too perfect, you know? She’s so… I guess you could say squeaky-clean, when it comes right down to it. Sure, Liam could get anyone with his high-profile career and financial stability—not to mention his movie-star good looks—but it’s… Different, with Illiana, and I can tell.”

“Different?”

“Like he’s going through the motions for some reason, like I did with Axel,” I replied. “I mean, whenever he touches him or kisses him, he just looks uncomfortable…”

“Maybe it’s because he’s a goddamned gentleman who doesn’t want to do PDA,” he replied. “I mean, wasn’t Penny there when Illiana asked you to be her bridesmaid? Maybe he didn’t want to go full-on makeout in front of his baby sister.”

I fixed Yev with a look. “You and Des go full-on makeout in front of me.”

“That’s different,” Yev replied with a grin. “We know you don’t care. Maybe, in private, Penny’s a priss of some kind.”

I laughed. “Really?”

Yev sighed and shook his head. “No. Des and I double-date with Penny and Lacey sometimes, and we do pretty much whatever we want there, too…”

“Well, then, what else could it be?” I asked, spreading my hands. “He couldn’t possibly care about my feelings. Even though he denied thinking I was ghetto trash when I called him on it the other day, he probably just doesn’t like being backed into a corner…”

“I don’t know,” Yev said.

I sighed, shaking my head. “Well, he certainly doesn’t have chemistry with her.”

“How do you figure?”

I smirked. “Looks like he wants to push her off of him,” I said, feeling more than a little satisfied by this minute detail. “I don’t know. I’m probably reading too much into it because I’ve got feelings for him and I want to claw her eyes out whenever she touches him.”

“Jesus Iana,” Yev said, finally taking it upon himself to hand the cigarette back to me. “That’s a little dark, don’t you think?”

I scoffed. “Fuck it,” I muttered, bringing the cigarette to my lips. “Tell me something good, please, Yev,” I begged. “Combined with all the work I’ve been doing for Penny the last several days, starting up my second college quarter, and taking care of Hailey, this is my first night off in a while. I need to decompress. You tell me something now.”

Yev smiled. “I started college today.”

“Hold up,” I said, sitting up. “You did?”

He grinned back at me. “Yeah. Your dad pulled some strings. I’m doing this online program at the University of Chicago, because I’m on my house arrest.”

“Oh, my god!” I cried out then, launching myself into his arms. “That is officially fantastic news, Yev!” I crowed. “Have you picked a major yet?”

“Nah,” he said, pulling back and shaking his head. “But, I will, at some point.” He sighed, and took the cigarette back from me. “Never thought I’d be a college guy. Gotta tell you, though, Des loves it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Let’s just say he wants me to get a cap and gown, and then—”

“No!” I shouted again, covering my ears once more, and Yev cackled into the night, while all the while I rolled my eyes, happy for my brother.

. . .

I was staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, the buzz of people which filled the kitchen and living room, filtering through the door just beside me. I was pleased that Pops and Uncle Ian had agreed to be the hosts of Hailey’s second birthday party, and yet, as I stood there, gripping the bathroom sink and staring at myself, I knew I was far from okay. The dark circles were more than a little pronounced, and my heart was going a mile a minute, knowing full well who lurked on the other side of that door.

The morning and early afternoon had gone fine, with me, Pops, and Uncle Ian playfully dashing around downstairs while Yev and Des watched Hailey upstairs. There was a bunch of laughing and reminiscing about my own childhood birthdays, although I had constantly found myself rolling my eyes when one of them would mention the other’s birthday suit. I did my best to focus on the day ahead, knowing that Hailey would be surrounded by family and love, and, given that I had gotten such a decent bonus check from Penny after re-starting my position at Nell’s Rags, let’s just say my birthday gifts for Hailey were more than satisfactory.

“Doing okay, kiddo?” Pops asked.

I turned and looked at him, from where I was setting up the various plates of food in the kitchen—nuts separated from everything else because of Ezra’s allergy, etc. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, and smiled at him. “Just a little tired. Penny’s keeping me in some long hours since I got back to work.”

“She’s not working you too hard, is she?” Uncle Ian wanted to know.

I shook my head, turning my face towards him as he walked by, before pulling on his shirt collar and kissing his cheek. “Nope. And I don’t see it as work,” I said, turning back to my food arrangements and deciding what needed to go where. “Marketing is my jam. I know a lot of people may find it annoying, or can’t understand it, but I’m so in love with it.”

“Who’s coming today?” Pops asked.

“Mom and Dad, plus Clayton, Fionn, Carla, and Charlie, of course,” I said, flashing him a quick smile as I worked. “Aunt Debbie, Franny, Clark, and Ezra will be here, plus Uncle Kev and V said they’d come by, too.”

“Anyone from work?” Uncle Ian asked casually.

“Penny and Lacey will be here,” I said. “Of course, Des is already here, so it’d be rude for me to tell his sister, and my boss’s girlfriend, that she wasn’t invited.”

“I thought you and Lacey were cool…”

“We _are_ cool, Pops,” I said quickly, “of course we’re cool. She understands the situation from last June and gets it…”

“Anyone else coming?” Uncle Ian questioned, and I knew exactly what he meant.

“Plates!” I said, turning loose the last of the cheese cubes on one plate, and crossing the small space of the kitchen to wash my hands. After doing so, I grabbed the party plates I’d bought the night before and placed them at the edge of the designated food counter.

“Iana,” Pops said, likely wanting me to answer Uncle Ian.

I turned and looked at him. “Uncle Lip, Aunt Mandy, and Ronan are coming,” I said quickly, and hoped that the notion of seeing his sister would render him excited enough to drop this topic of conversation. “They RSVP’d yes…”

Uncle Ian hesitated for a moment before turning to Pops. “Hey, Mick, why don’t you go upstairs and check and make sure that the boys are getting the birthday girl ready?”

Pops turned and looked at Uncle Ian as I turned my attention to the cracker plate. “You sure?” he asked him.

“Positive.”

“Okay.” Pops made sure to walk by Uncle Ian, whereupon he kissed him before he walked upstairs and out of sight.

Uncle Ian walked directly in front of me. “Talk,” he said.

I gave him a cursory glance before I lowered my eyes back down to my hands. My fingers were now covered in a fine layer of salt from the crackers I’d been holding. “What do you want to talk about?” I asked noncommittally.

“Stop with the games,” Uncle Ian said firmly, and I placed part of my palms onto the counter, but not so much that my salty fingers made contact with it. “Tell me what’s going on, Iana. I helped raise you, so I know when something’s up.”

I shook my head. “Nothing’s up.”

Uncle Ian sighed in frustration as I finished with the crackers, before walking over to the sink and washing my hands again, so much so that I didn’t hear him walking up behind me. “I know when you’re lying to me,” he said, waiting to speak just as I turned around.

“Fuck!” I screamed, automatically shoving him back and away from me. “Fucking Christ, Uncle Ian! I know you can’t do that!”

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he said, stepping forward again and hugging me, waiting for my heart rate to go back to normal before he let me go. “Better?”

I nodded, although the action was stiff. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Now, will you please tell me what’s going on?” he asked.

I sighed. “Well, it’s…” I was cut off by the doorbell ringing, and I made an apologetic face up at him. “Can we table this?”

“Sure,” he replied.

I smiled, giving his shoulder a squeeze as I walked into the living room, just as Pops, Yev, and Des all trooped down the main stairs. I let out a laugh of joy as Pops carried Hailey, all dressed in her new birthday clothes, and automatically reached out to take her in my arms, my heart swelling with pride as she reached out to me. “Hello, sweetheart.”

“Hailey ready to party!” she cried, clapping her hands.

I pressed my lips to her forehead. “I’m sure you are,” I said. We opened the door and greeted her guests, the first of whom were Franny, Clark, and Ezra. As the next thirty minutes went by, I paraded Hailey back and forth to the front door, and she helped me in greeting the guests that had arrived for her birthday party. Everyone was enchanted with my daughter, and I remember Mom telling me that she’d felt the same way whenever I or one of my siblings had been the topic of conversation, or the center of attention. Finally, Penny and Lacey were the last due to arrive, and when I opened the door, my mouth nearly fell open.

“Liam!” Hailey sang, but I managed to stop her from reaching out to him completely.

“Hey,” he said, and Penny mouthed ‘I’m so sorry’ to me, while Lacey gave me a pained expression. “Room for three more?”

“Of course,” I replied, stepping back, and allowing them inside, my heart beginning to race in my chest as Liam walked by me, his scent intoxicating to my nostrils. I shut the door behind them and followed them into the living room. Spotting Franny immediately, I walked towards her then and said, “I need a minute.”

Franny took note of my face, and immediately saw that Liam was there. “Want me to knock him out of here?” she asked.

I shook my head at her. “No,” I replied. “Just take Hailey, please.”

She nodded. “Of course,” she replied, taking her and easily managing to distract her, all with the ever-helpful Ezra’s help.

I walked through the living room and into the kitchen, quickly managing to see that the bathroom should’ve been unoccupied. I stepped inside and locked the door behind me, leaning against it for a moment, doing my best to keep my heart from bursting out of my chest. I walked over to the mirror then, taking in the dark circles beneath my eyes, and hating that I cared about how I looked when it came to a confirmed liar like Liam. I dragged one of my hands down my face and swore to myself under my breath, just wishing that this pain could end.

“Get it together, Milkovich,” I said to my reflection, addressing myself through my teeth. “He is engaged to an Italian supermodel, and there’s no way in hell someone like you could ever compare to someone like her…” My voice broke then, and my eyes threatened to fill with tears then as I heard a quiet knock on the door. “Yeah?”

“Mama,” said the voice on the other side, and I quickly blinked the tears away and unlocked the door before opening it.

“Hey, beautiful,” I said, my heart squeezing as she raised her arms to me, and I immediately took her in them. “You okay?”

“I’m okay,” she replied, looking me over. “Mama, are you sad?”

“No,” I said quickly, smiling down at her.

Hailey’s brow furrowed then. “You were crying.”

I sighed. “Just a little,” I replied.

“Why?” she asked.

“Well, because Mama just can’t believe how big you’re getting,” I said, and Hailey grinned up at me at my words. “It’s a little scary to Mama.”

Hailey looked surprised. “Mama can get scared?” she asked.

I nodded. “Of course,” I replied, walking back towards the living room, my eyes managing to find Liam’s without much difficulty and, when he seemed to sense my gaze on him, he raised his silver eyes to mine. “Anyone can get scared, my darling, at any time, at any place. It doesn’t matter where or when, but it’s usually at just the right moment, and then time seems to stop, and you have no control over it whatsoever…”

. . .

I tried not to be too annoyed when Yev told me he was picking up an extra shift at Patsy’s, with full permission of his probation officer, for the Valentine’s Day dinner rush. Mom and Dad were spending the night in with a candlelight dinner, and agreed to watch Hailey, while I went to Penny’s Valentine’s Day gala solo. Once I arrived, my little black dress—designed by Penny for this specific evening—hugging me in all the right places, I could feel many pairs of eyes on me throughout the space, and did my best to smile at everyone in turn, and accepted a champagne flute from one of the many waiters which drifted around the room.

“Oh, good, you’re here,” Penny said, embracing me. “Potential investors, three o’clock. They’ve been absolutely _dying_ to meet Nell’s Rags COO…”

“Point taken. My game face is on,” I said, grinning as she pulled back.

“Gentlemen, our esteemed COO, Miss Iana Milkovich,” Penny said to them both, and I put out my hand.

“Ah, Mr. Wendell Chung and Mr. Elliot Washington, at last,” I said, putting out my hand to each gentleman respectively, as Penny had informed me about them both prior to the gala. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet with you both. I trust your flights over from Hong Kong and London weren’t too bad.”

“Hong Kong is usually much warmer than this during January,” Mr. Chung said to me with a warm smile, “but I prefer the snow myself. The flight was all right, I suppose, and the flight attendants were polite to me.”

“I’m so glad to hear it,” I said, turning to Mr. Washington. “Politeness, I find, should belong in most conversations.”

“We get plenty of snow in London to go around,” Mr. Washington said, rolling his eyes playfully and allowing his champagne to swirl slightly in his flute. “My husband has the kids while I’m away and they’re still on school break. Snowed-in,” he explained. “So, I guess it’s nice to get away from that for a little while, but they said that the weather could delay my flight home, and I wouldn’t want to be away from Tristan and our girls, Tabitha and Elizabeth, more than I absolutely have to.”

“No, of course not,” I said, knowing just how to continue. “I have a daughter of my own, so I can understand how you have to divide your time between work and home.”

“Oh, is she the precious child who appears on the website and catalogues, advertizing the toddler clothes?” Mr. Chung asks. “My granddaughter is her biggest fan, and absolutely must have everything she wears!”

I smiled, pleased that Hailey was getting positive attention. “Yes, Mr. Chung, as a matter of fact she is,” I replied, lifting my champagne flute to my lips and sipping gently. “She’s the light of my life, if I do say so.”

“I’m quite sure some small-minded people would say that you were irresponsible for having a child at such a young age, Miss Milkovich,” Mr. Washington said, “but look at how far you’ve come in the professional world. I, for one, think age is just a number, and people should just mind their own business.”

“Not to mention that you haven’t seemed to let your position go to your head,” Mr. Chung went on, nodding his head. “A lot of young ladies in your shoes would just put on a face for a party and not be kind. But you are so genuinely nice, my dear. I do hope you never allow yourself to be overshadowed by your circumstances.”

I nodded at them both. “Believe me, gentlemen, I wouldn’t,” I assured them. I wrapped up my conversation with the two of them and excused myself, covertly flashing Penny a thumbs-up as I walked by. I placed the champagne flute in the kitchen before walking out onto the back veranda, needing a moment after successfully getting five-hundred-million from that entire exchange, and all for Nell’s Rags. The door opening behind me a few moments later wasn’t a complete surprise, and I did not permit my body to betray me as it shut automatically. “Illiana not wanting to dance with you?” I asked.

“It would be damn near impossible, because she’s in Italy,” Liam explained, coming up behind me and standing beside me. “How’d your talk with Chung and Washington go?”

I shrugged. “Can’t complain. Got a cool five-hundred-million out of them.”

“Jesus,” Liam whispered, his voice almost that of awe. “That must be a new record.”

I sighed. “Sure,” I replied.

Liam looked around then, for I could see that much from the corner of my eye. “I didn’t see Axel in the party. He at the prison tonight?”

I shrugged, my shoulders bare from the cold shoulder affect of Penny’s specialty-made little black dress. “Wouldn’t know.”

“He’s not telling you about his schedule anymore?”

I shook my head, lowering my eyes to the city lights below. “No. I wouldn’t know because I broke up with him two months ago.”

“Wait. You broke up with Axel?”

I nodded. “Yeah.” I pulled back from the edge of the balony then, before I turned around and faced Liam. “And before you say anything, no. I didn’t break up with him because of you, or for you, because I know that we can’t happen. You’re with Illiana now, and, for the love of Christ, I said I’d be one of her fucking bridesmaids, and I still don’t know why I said I would. All I know is, I broke up with him for me, because it was something I had to do.”

“Do you really have feelings for me?” he asked, his voice quiet.

It was then that I felt the tears in my eyes, and yet I made no effort to call them back. “You know I have feelings for you,” I replied, knowing that saying this wouldn’t be good for either of us, but I couldn’t for the life of me hold back anymore. “But you’re engaged to Illiana, and she’s, you know, gorgeous, and all I am is ghetto trash…”

“Don’t say that about yourself,” Liam said, his voice firm as he stepped forward then, taking ahold of my face in his hands and staring down at me, wiping my trail of tears with the pads of his thumbs. “I shouldn’t have said that in the first place. I was drunk, and I was being stupid, and I can’t for the life of me figure out what to say about it, except that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I said that, and for what I said to you, that day in June. Part of the reason why I said it, Iana, is that I’m involved with some really bad people, and it’s safer for you to stay out of it. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and instead of explaining everything to you, I let you run off without an explanation—or a fake one—while you still had the chance…”

“Bad people?” I whispered.

He sighed. “Yeah, some real bad people, that I didn’t want you and Hailey to potentially get hurt by them…”

“But… But Illiana’s not in danger?”

Liam mulled that over for a moment. “It’s complicated.”

“Is it real?” I asked him, my voice quiet. “The engagement, is it real?”

He looked around then, almost as if he was afraid that the area was bugged. He yanked me towards him then, and I gasped in protest, but was shocked when his lips merely went to my ear, and his voice was so soft, only I could hear him. “All I can say, Iana, is that it would be a marriage only on paper. She doesn’t have her claws in me.”

“Claws?” I whispered back.

He chuckled, his hot breath sending goosebumps on my skin, and his laugh sending chills down my spine. “Yev may have told Des, who told me, that you were jealous…”

I tried to yank myself out of his arms. “I’m not jealous, you pompous, lying, cheating bastard! I would never be—!”

It is then that his lips, oh sweet lord, his delicious lips are pressed to mine, and I cannot escape, not at all. My arms mind automatically around his neck then, and he yanked me so that my entire body was pressed against his. I responded immediately, tangling my fingers in his hair, tasting him, feeling him, and never wanting all of this to end. The fact that burned on my brain then was that I wasn’t being disloyal to anyone, although it could be said, no matter what his reasons, that Illiana was being betrayed here. And, even though it broke my heart, I slowly pulled back from his lips then and shook my head.

“What is it?” Liam asked.

I sighed. “We can’t do this.”

“You don’t want to?”

I scoffed. “I think I’ve made it abundantly clear what I want.”

He blinked. “Then… What’s wrong?”

I looked up at him. “You’re engaged.”

“So?”

“So…” I sighed. “Whatever your reasons are for your coupling with Illiana, complicated or not, I’m not a homewrecker,” I said, my voice firm. “If you need to marry her because of a debt or something like that, fine. Go marry your supermodel for all I care,” I said, the bitter laugh escaping my lips as I walked away from him.

“Iana, please…”

“No,” I said, catching his eye as I took ahold of the door. “No, Liam, not again. No more pleading and begging and kissing, although you know as well as I do how much I enjoy that third thing, and what inevitably comes after that… But we can’t.”

“What are you saying here?”

“I’m saying that you have my blessing, not that you need it,” I said.

Liam blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Marry Illiana,” I told him, and he looked as if I’d gutted him. “Marry her, if that’s what you need to do. I understand, and I’ll come to accept it, in time. But I have a daughter, and a job, and a degree to get, and a life,” I said softly. “And, as far as I’m concerned, you and I need to come to an understanding, while I’m working for your sister.”

“What kind of understanding?”

“One where we can work without fighting or foreplay,” I said firmly. “We can’t keep acting like teenagers every chance we get. It’s enough now. Marry Illiana, get on with your life, and let me get on with mine,” I told him, turning around without a backward glance and headed back to the party, my game-face back on to make more money for the company.


	8. Fight Song

I’d left the function in tears, the second time and for two years’ running, and felt a lump slowly but surely developing in my throat as I got into the elevator. The sensible thing to do, I knew, would be to talk to Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy; however, I’d never been the sensible type, so I got out on the bottom floor and made my way towards my car. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I could feel my mascara running down my face as I stumbled through the darkness in my latest pair of godforsaken heels.

The drive to my destination was not a long one, and, when I arrived, I wiped my face as best I could before heading inside. I rode the elevator up and headed for the correct door before knocking, hoping beyond hope that I wasn’t interrupting anything. When the door opened, and Axel stared at me in slight shock, I immediately began apologizing.

“Look, I’m sorry for just showing up like this,” I said, my voice trembling. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am…”

“No, it’s okay,” he said. “Do you want to come in?”

I nodded, shakily. “Yeah,” I said, and allowed him to put an arm around my shoulders and guide me inside his apartment. “I’m sorry…”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” Axel said, his voice gentle. “Take a seat. I’ll go get you some water.”

“Got anything stronger?” I asked, and he hesitated on the threshold of his kitchen.

“Yeah,” he said, turning to look at me, “but something tells me that it likely wouldn’t be a good idea to let you have any.”

I sighed, knowing he was right. “I’ll take the water, then. Thanks.”

He nodded. “No problem,” he replied. He stepped into the kitchen, and I heard the fridge door opening and then slamming, before he returned a moment later with a chilled bottle. “There you go,” he said, handing it over.

I weighed it in my hands. “Thanks,” I replied, twisting the cap off and drinking it. After a moment, I lowered it and re-capped it, leaning back into his couch, doing my very best to focus on my breathing. “Look, I’m sorry for just bursting in on you like this. It was just a hell of a night, and I needed someone to talk to…”

“I get it,” Axel replied, and, when I raised my eyes to his, he flashed me a smile. “Come on, talk to me. What’s up? Wasn’t tonight the Valentine’s Day gala at Penny’s?”

I nodded. “Yeah, it was,” I said quietly. “Let’s just say it didn’t end well…”

“Liam and you got into it again, huh?”

I scoffed. “Oh, yeah.”

“Why doesn’t he just admit that he wants you as much as you clearly want him?” Axel asked then, and when I struggled to protest, he sighed. “Come on, Iana. I’m not stupid. The two of you clearly have feelings for each other; it’s not just one half of an equation, it’s both of you. You clearly made your feelings known for him on multiple occasions. What’s stopping him from taking the plunge and just being with you?”

I swallowed then, the source of all my devastation resurfacing, just as I felt my eyes filling with tears once more. “He’s engaged,” I blubbered.

“Wait. What?!” Axel demanded. “He throws you out of his penthouse last June, saying that he’s not a relationship kind of guy, and then, after summer, has another woman in his life?!”

I nodded. “Yeah…”

“Well, who is this person?”

I sighed, wiping my tears with the backs of my hands. “A business associate’s daughter,” I said with a halfhearted shrug. “She’s from Italy, and looks like a fucking supermodel. She’s blonde and has these beautiful brown eyes, perfect body, amazing tits, legs that go on forever… She’s trilingual, too. Her father’s Italian, her mother’s Spanish, and she learned English when she went to this fucking finishing school or some shit…”

“She a bitch?” Axel asked.

I laughed aloud then. “No!” I cried out, finding the entire thing wildly funny. “She’s actually one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Too nice, almost…”

Axel blinked. “Wait. How could anyone be too nice?”

I rolled my eyes. “Asked me to a bridesmaid at the wedding,” I muttered.

Axel’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “Don’t tell me you said you would!” he bellowed then, and, when he saw my expression, he shook his head. “Iana…”

“What?”

“How can you just sit there and accept it?” he asked quietly. “How can you just sit there and watch as the man you love is planning a wedding with another woman, and then agree to stand there while they say their vows?”

I scoffed. “Love,” I said, my tone bitter. “Love doesn’t exist. Hell, if we couldn’t make it work, that’s testament to that fact.” I opened my water bottle then, swirling around the undrunk liquid and sighed. “I should’ve gotten out of the Kennedy’s world when I had the chance, listened to you when it meant something…”

“Iana, don’t talk that way…”

I laughed aloud again, the tears streaming down my face. “God, this is so fucked up,” I muttered, knowing that the six-pack of Old Style I’d found and drunk in less than ten minutes in the kitchen of the gala likely wasn’t helping. “I tell him everything, I fucking pour my heart out to the guy, and he pretty much says that he _has to_ marry Illiana…”

“You think he’s doing it to pay a debt or something?”

“I don’t fucking know, man,” I said, chugging the rest of the water, knowing I had to be sober when I got back home that night, lest I get a lecture from my mother about it. “All I do know is, I hate taking advantage of people…”

“You’re not taking advantage of me, Iana.”

I raised my eyes to his. “Why are you so good to me?”

He smiled. “I’m your friend,” he replied. “I pretty much signed up for it.”

. . .

My new normal continued for the next two weeks, and I was pleased that I’d worked out a suitable schedule for work, mommy, and family time. Hailey continued growing and amazing me with each day that passed, and her instructors at the daycare were very impressed by her quick development for language skills. She was a popular student, especially with the parents, who did their best to dress their daughters, and sons—in the more neutral portion of the clothing line that Nell’s Rags had to offer—in whatever Hailey wore.

Penny loved all the deals I managed to secure as the weeks passed, and even though I had to do most of them via phone and email, she said that I was doing way more for the company than the previous COO, who had stolen tens of thousands from the company. I was just happy to be doing a job I understood, and not talking to ungrateful customers about whether or not their avocado toast burger was Instagramable. Honestly, I could give a damn about your lunch order; all I cared about, when it came to work, was securing the appropriate deals with high-profile investors, and having a decent paycheck to put in the bank.

It was a Sunday when I was working out a deal with a company in Tokyo wanting to invest with Nell’s Rags and, once I completed the call, I was free for the afternoon. Pops and Uncle Ian were watching Hailey that day, and while I hated having to take time away from my daughter to work weekend hours, Penny made it worth my while financially, and this was the only time the suits in Tokyo could talk to me. Once I intruded on their breakfast meeting enough—and we’d managed to come to a deal of five million dollars, I politely ended the call. I wrote in my book a quick note to Penny that the deal had gone through and was successful, and was just clearing up my desk when the door to the penthouse opened.

“Hey, Iana.”

“Good evening, Liam,” I replied, my tone level as I powered off the iPad and locked up my desk as I got to my feet. I put my copy of the key into my satchel, where my laptop was stored; only me and Penny had copies of the key. “How can I help you? Were you waiting on Penny? Her and Lacey went shopping for new potential fabrics for the fall line a few hours ago, and I don’t know when she’ll be back.”

Liam shook his head. “No, I don’t need to see Penny.”

“All right,” I said, a little shrug of my shoulders as I buttoned up the knee-length, faux fur coat that Penny had gifted to me. “Well, I’ve got to get home, given my obligation to my daughter,” I said, not wanting to make this more awkward than it already was. “If you see Penny, you can tell her I got the deal with the Tokyo company without incident. We talked for twenty minutes into their breakfast meeting, but we got four million more than we originally wanted from them, so that’s all settled.”

He looked shocked. “You squeezed five million out of those tight-wads?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, it seems that way,” I replied, walking over to the fax machine and holding up the piece of paper they’d sent back. “Contract’s been signed and sealed, and they said a check should follow tomorrow or Tuesday.”

Liam shook his head. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“The hustle? Please,” I said, shrugging my shoulders as I pulled my collar closer around my neck and pulled on my hat, so as it covered my ears. “I’ve been hustling since I was five-years-old, and I had to make it look like two stable adults were raising my brothers. Now, I have three jobs, mothering Hailey, this, and college. I’m going to continue to be a great mother, and excel at this job and getting my degree.”

Liam nodded. “I know you will.”

“Anyway, better get home,” I said, and moved to walk past him.

“Iana…”

“Yeah?” I asked, turning around to face him again.

“Listen, I just want to say, I was out of line at the gala,” he said. “I need to be responsible when it comes to my engagement to Illiana. It’s not fair to her.”

I nodded, forcing myself to ignore the lump in my throat at his words. “No, of course,” I said, my voice slightly strained, but I managed to move past it. “It’s not fair to her. You made a pretty big commitment to her, and, whether we like it or not, she’s a nice person. She doesn’t deserve to be jerked around like this.”

“You’re right. And listen, if you don’t want to be her bridesmaid…”

“I’m a girl of my word,” I told him, my voice firm. “I told her I would, and I will.”

“You don’t need to be brave here, Iana…”

“It’s not about bravery,” I told him. “It’s about keeping promises. It would be wrong to back out of something, now that Penny’s already designing my dress.”

Liam blinked. “She’s designing you a dress?”

I nodded. “Of course she is. She won’t let me see it, though, and you’re not allowed to see it either, apparently. She just said ‘trust me’ and took my measurements.”

He laughed. “She tends to do that.”

I shrugged. “Oh, well. Guess we gotta trust her.”

“Guess we do. And listen, I understand if, after all the hell I’ve put you through, if you don’t want to see me…”

I raised my hand. “We made a promise, when Hailey was born, that we’d be friends. I’d like to stand by that promise, because I’m standing by the one I made to Illiana. Sound all right to you, Liam?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. Sounds great.”

I smiled at him then. “Great,” I said. “So… Friends.” I allowed the word to hang in the air for a moment before I sighed. “Goodnight, Liam,” I said, and turn around and opened the door, before pulling it shut behind me. I walked down the hallway, and pressed the button for the elevator, and felt tears enter my eyes as I stepped inside. It was then, as I heard the doors closing, that I thought I heard another door opening—could’ve been the penthouse, but I wasn’t sure—but the chrome doors shut before I could know.

. . .

“So, the Tokyo deal is officially a-go,” Penny gushed two days later, as she held the check aloft for me to see.

I blinked. “It’s not official once the contract is signed?”

“It’s only official when money exchanges hands,” she explained, walking over to the file cabinet in the office. “If we were to have a face-to-face meeting, and they brought their pens for signing their names on _both_ a contract and a check, then yeah, it would be official.”

I leaned back in my chair, surveying the room which was one of the few in the place. I’d thought it was crazy the day before when I’d walked into the penthouse and seen my desk missing, but Penny explained that, as the COO of Nell’s Rags, I should have my own office. It was just across the hall from the office she used, although the official Nell’s Rags building, in Downtown Chicago, was already preparing an office space for me.

“I still think it’s too much,” I said, watching as she completed filing the check away, which a trusted associate would come along to collect at the end of the week.

“What is?” she asked, leaning against the cabinet.

“I don’t know. All this,” I said, spreading my hands at the impressive office space, which had taken a page out of Liam’s decorating handbook, as it was filled with Victorian furniture, and boasted floor-to-ceiling windows. “Besides, I would’ve been more than happy to work via iPad and my laptop on that couch of yours out there…”

Penny rolled her eyes. “You’re the COO, a.k.a. second-in-command, of a multi-million dollar company, Iana,” she said, doing her best to keep patient with me. “Someday, we’re going to find someone just as capable as you to do your job…”

“What? If I don’t stay compliant and grateful?” I said smugly.

“No,” Penny said. “We’d find another COO eventually because I think your head for business would be amazing enough for you to be a partner.”

I stood up straight then, staring at her. “What?” I asked.

She nodded. “Of course. You’re excellent at what you do, Iana. Hell, you’ve given me thousands of fashion ideas since you’ve known me.”

I shake my head. “I’m no designer…”

“Oh, really?” Penny said, marching out of my office. She returned a moment later, a binder in her arms, which I quickly identified as a scrapbook. “In here are all the ideas you’ve given me since we’ve met,” she said, flipping through the pages. “Each one of them has been so hot, retailers and soccer moms alike have bought them up like hot-cakes. And the retailers always tell me the things with your added spice sell more quickly than anything else they have on the racks, no matter what season.”

I smile. “Well, that’s… Just wow.”

The front door of the penthouse opened then, and Penny immediately opened my desk and shoved the binder inside of it as heels clicked on the wood floor. A moment later, Illiana appeared in my doorway, and grinned at the two of us. She was dressed head to toe in one of Penny’s faux fur winter ensambles, and, of course, she looked like a regular snow queen. Except, of course, this snow queen had heart.

“Ah, my sister-to-be!” she chorused, trooping into the room and embracing Penny. “And my darling friend, Iana!” she said, letting Penny go and coming for me, and giving me a light kiss on the cheek. “I came to ask if you ladies would come to lunch with me.”

Penny snapped her fingers, and took out her phone. “Sorry, big meeting with retailers Downtown in half an hour,” she said, and showed off her mobile calendar, in case Illiana didn’t believe her story. “But I’m sure Iana would love to.”

“Wonderful!” Illiana cried. “I just have to make a quick call to my father…”

“Go on out to the veranda,” Penny said.

Illiana smiled at her. “Thank you,” she said gratefully, blowing us each a kiss before she walked out of my office.

I turned my gaze towards Penny, and raised my eyebrows at her, waiting to speak until I heard the veranda door open and shut. “Is it just me, or did you have a ready-made excuse not to go to lunch with her?” I asked.

She sighed. “I’ve had this on the books for months, Iana. I can’t just cancel work obligations whenever she wants to do something. I’d run the company into the ground in less than five seconds if I did that.”

I hunched my shoulders. “Yeah, I guess you have an obligation to the company, and I’m not disputing that, but…”

“What?”

“Well, you’ve never told me directly, about your thoughts on Illiana,” I said, rolling back and forth on my heels. “I mean, I’ve hardly seen your mom since the engagement was announced. I know she’s traveling to help the grieving process to get over your dad…”

Penny pursed her lips. “Mom’s at our chalet in Switzerland.”

I nodded. “Okay,” I said. “So, does she know?”

“Yeah, she knows.”

“Well?” I ask. “You hardly talk about it. I mean, don’t you have any feelings about Liam’s engagement to Illiana?”

She sighed. “Of course I do. For one thing, I hate what he did to you, and then turned around and brought her home like she should’ve been automatically one of the family. And then there’s the notion that he doesn’t love her…”

I blinked. “He doesn’t love her?”

“No,” Penny said, shaking her head. “I think Illiana’s dad wanted his daughter to have the American dream or some shit, and Liam fit the bill.”

“Yeah, but what about you?” I asked. “I know he’s been like a surrogate father to you since your dad died, and so you must talk to him…”

“I tell him he’s a fucking asshole for what he did to you last summer every time I get the chance,” she replied. “He didn’t treat you right, Iana.”

I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter now. You’re avoiding the question.”

“I don’t mind her, as a person,” she said at last. “But, as my brother’s soon-to-be-wife… No. I think she’s all wrong for him, and my mom thinks so, too.”

Illiana returned from her phone call shortly thereafter, and waited for me to put on my coat and hat, and change out of my heels and into my snow boots. I brought along my heels to change back into at the restaurant, and we said goodbye to Penny before leaving the penthouse. Illiana was a whiz at small talk, and asked me about my studies at the University of Chicago, and how Hailey was adapting to the program Penny had gotten her into.

“I knew I recognized her from the moment I laid eyes on her,” Penny said once we’d reached downstairs, and got into one of the Kennedy cars. “Steadfast, please, Dom,” she said politely to the driver, and the driver tipped his hat as we pulled away from the apartment building. “Has Penny used her as a model long?”

“Consistently,” I replied. “Even before she hired me. Said Hailey just had ‘something’. I guess it was a spark of some sort. I wouldn’t readily know. I’m no model.”

“Oh, but you could be,” Illiana said as we drove along the main streets towards the restaurant, which I knew was in a high-class hotel. “You’ve got the face and the body for it, Iana. Don’t sell yourself short.”

I smiled at that. “Well, thanks, Illiana. That’s nice of you to say.”

We continued talking, just like that, as we continued towards the restaurant, and Dom waited for us to exchange our snow boots for heels, and promised to come back as soon as we were finished so as we could make the swap again. Once we stepped inside the restaurant, Illiana requested her usual table, and we were promptly brought to a secluded booth in the back. My stomach almost immediately rolled then, and I wondered if Liam and Illiana had come here together, and had some intimate conversations over high-priced champagne.

“Thank you,” Illiana said as we slipped into the booth, and menus were handed over. She ordered us drinks and appetizers before the waiter slipped away, and turned back to me. “Listen, I don’t want to be forward, but I need your help.”

“My help?” I asked, wondering what I could possibly do to help her. “What could I possibly do for you?”

She smiled. “I know it sounds silly, but I know you know that Liam and I had a very brief courtship last summer,” she said. “As a result, I don’t know much about him, and he’s always working, so I don’t get a lot of opportunities to ask him.”

I nodded. “Oh, I see,” I said, readily figuring out that this was a fishing expedition, but knowing it would be better if I helped her. “What do you want to know?” I asked.

“Favorite color, foods, anything really,” she said.

“All right,” I said, and we thanked the waiter when our drinks were brought.

“Let’s start easy,” she said, sipping at her drink as the waiter slipped away to bring us back the meat and cheese board. “Favorite color.”

“Cerulean-blue or silver,” I replied.

She nodded. “Okay. And foods?”

“He likes mild fish, but nothing that tastes like fish,” I told her. “But, his guilty pleasure is lasagna, but he hates ricotta cheese, so he replaces it with mozzarella.”

Illiana raised her eyebrows. “Noted.”

“And he has a fantastic wine collection,” I continued. “He’s also a cheese snob.”

Illiana laughed aloud. “Liam?”

I nodded. “The same.”

“Morning bird or night owl?”

“He sees getting up in the morning as a chore, and gets his best work done at night,” I told her, remembering him getting up and out of bed at random intervals to write down his thoughts on pretty much anything.

Illiana smiled. “We’re kindred spirits, then,” she said, her tone gleeful. “So, what do you know about his wine collection?”

“That he’s the only one with the key,” I said softly. “Also, he hates wine.”

“Hates wine?” Illiana cried out.

I nodded. “Yeah, hates it. Except for champagne, which he only tolerates. But he’s more of a beer kind of guy.”

“Favorite kind of beer?”

I smiled, knowing I was responsible for this. “Old Style,” I replied.

. . .

I got off early from work two weeks later, and was surprised when Mom told me she had gotten Hailey from daycare and they were going to spend some time together. This was excellent news for me, because Axel had texted me, asking me to come by for a drink. I told him I’d be delighted to, and arrived in the late afternoon hours of the day. We talked and laughed for over two hours, and the conversation, expectedly, drifted towards Liam.

“So, how’s work going?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Can’t complain. I’m relieved that I don’t have to attend any overseas deals for another few weeks. Gives me as much time with Hailey as possible.”

He nodded. “How’s she adjusting to being two?”

I laughed. “She’s literally running around everywhere, singing at the top of her lungs,” I replied, shaking my head. “I don’t know if I was that bad…”

Axel returned my laugh. “You probably were.”

“Hey,” I said, reaching out and punching him in the arm. “Not funny.”

“So, Liam behaving himself?”

“Eh, as much as pretty boy can,” I said, my tone sarcastic.

“Uh-oh,” Axel said, taking a swig of his beer. “What does that mean?”

“It means that I want to villainize his bride-to-be more than anything, but I can’t. She’s just too nice for her own good.”

Axel blinked. “Really? Again with the too nice?”

“Yeah. She asked me out to lunch two weeks ago.”

“You’re kidding. You go?”

I sighed. “Yeah, I went. And it was almost painless.”

“Yeah?” he asked, watching as I sipped my own beer. “How so?”

“Well, she doesn’t know anything about him, for starters…”

“And, let me guess, you gave her the Liam Kennedy crash course.”

I pouted my lips then, growing slightly annoyed at just how right he was. “I mean… I may have helped her along…”

“Iana…”

“What?” I asked. “Just because she’s marrying him doesn’t mean I have to be a bitch to her. As far as I know, Liam didn’t even tell her about us, so it’s not like she’s seeking me out to be deliberately malicious.”

“What does his family think?”

“Rose has been in Switzerland for almost a year,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders. “She’s been sporadically texting me, always nice. She’ll be back for the wedding, if not before. And Penny? I guess you could say that she wants to like Illiana, but she feels a loyalty to me…”

“And Rose? How does Rose feel about her?”

“I don’t think she likes her for Liam, but parents are always overprotective about their babies getting married, I guess…”

“You think you’ll be that way when Hailey gets married?”

I laughed aloud then. “No idea. Better her than me!”

Axel laughed back. “Yeah? How do you figure?”

I shook my head. “You know me. I’m not the marrying kind,” I said, taking a swig of my beer and shrugging my shoulders. “Never have been, and probably never will be.”

“Eh, I don’t think I’ll get married either,” Axel said.

I blinked. “No?”

“Nah,” he replied. “Just not in the cards for me.”

“What’s in the cards for anyone anymore?” I asked, and laughed again.

Axel laughed, too. “No idea,” he replied.

I stared at him for a moment, and then his eyes met mine. There was something behind his gaze, and I could distinctly feel something from within me as well. I swallowed slightly then, and didn’t move a muscle as Axel leaned forward, and then his lips met mine. It was different than all our other kisses, and I got a sense that there was a farewell behind it, buried somewhere in there, but couldn’t for the life of me figure out where it was.

“Sorry,” Axel said, pulling away a moment later and shaking his head.

I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. I let you…”

“Yeah, but I should’ve stopped it,” he replied, dragging a hand through his hair. “We agreed that it was over, and that we were friends.”

I nodded. “You’re right.” I smiled at him. “I’m not mad at you, though.”

“Good,” he replied. “But no more going down that path. It’s not a good idea.”

I swallowed then, knowing how right he was. “Don’t worry,” I assured him. “It’s not gonna happen again. I’ll make sure of it.”

. . .

MURPHY’S POV

I picked up Hailey from daycare as scheduled, and she was very happy to see me. I must’ve been one of the youngest grandparents involved with the organization, but, at the end of the day, age had proven to be just a number. Even though I was forty-one, I felt a good five or six years younger, which was something my forty-seven-year-old husband enjoyed.

“What are we doing today, Grandma?” Hailey asked, after I’d strapped her into her car seat and gotten into my own seat.

“Grandma needs to do some grocery shopping, so you, Miss Hailey, get to ride in the shopping cart,” I replied, and her eyes lit up.

“Really, Grandma?”

“Really, Hailey,” I said, flashing her a smile as we pulled away from the curb. “And, if you behave, you’ll get a treat at the end of the trip. How does that sound?”

She mulled that over for a minute. “A cookie?”

“Sure, if that’s what you want,” I said, knowing that, even though Hailey was a handful when it came to Iana, she was usually on her best behavior with me. I scooped her into my arms as we arrived at the store, locking up my car and heading inside quickly, for there were still patches of snow and frost everywhere. I kissed her forehead as we got inside, before grabbing a family-sized cart and slipping her into the section. “Ooh, boy,” I said as she wiggled around, doing her best to get comfortable. “Here,” I said, and unzipped and took off her coat. “That’s better, isn’t it?”

Hailey gripped the bar of the cart in front of her. “Almost too small!” she cried out, her eyes wide with excitement.

I laughed. “Just like your crib,” I joked, pulling deeper into the store, and heading directly towards the meat section. I smiled as I began filling the cart with a healthy assortment of protein, the sound of Hailey singing softly to herself—along with the hum of the lights illuminating the meat—filling my ears. I was so distracted by mentally remembering all the meat products we would need for the next couple of weeks—in case we got some more snowfall—that I didn’t hear anyone coming towards me.

“Beautiful little girl.” 

“I’m Hailey,” my granddaughter gushed.

“She’s the light of the family,” I tossed over my shoulder, pleased that the person sounded friendly enough, and I was right there in case anything untoward was said or done. I turned, putting the rest of the meat in my cart, raising my eyes to thank the person, but immediately, my heart swelled in my chest, and I grew afraid. “Oh, my god,” I whispered, and gripped the cart in front of me, ready to use it at a moment’s notice.

He smiled, and the way he stared at me, set me completely on edge. “Hello, Murphy,” he said, his mouth working the words slowly, so that they came out like a purr. “It’s been a long time. I’d say close to eighteen years.”

I swallowed then, taking in his tousled brown hair—which was longer than it had been all those years ago—and he now sported a healthy amount of facial hair, whereas before, he’d been clean-shaven. I swallowed then, lowering my eyes from his icy-blue ones—just like his mother’s—and regarded his hands, which seemed meatier, stronger, than they’d been when he’d taken my gun…

“You recognize me,” he purred.

“Yeah,” I said, the word managing to release itself from my lips, despite the fact that my throat was threatening to close up entirely. “I recognize you, Josh.”

He turned his gaze back to Hailey then, before he turned and looked back at me. “Beautiful little girl you’ve got there.”

“She’s not mine,” I replied.

Josh blinked. “Really? She looks so like your family…”

“Grandma’s friend?” Hailey whispered to me.

“Grandma?” Josh said, clearly amused by this. “Already? You’re barely over forty. How are you a grandmother? Unless Iana…”

“Don’t talk about her,” I said, my voice thick with unfiltered rage. “After all the shit you pulled, how are you even…?”

“Standing here?” he asked, a laugh escaping his lips. “Early release. The prison managed to get itself overcrowded, and I wasn’t deemed a risk to be released back into society.”

“Not a risk?” I hissed, reaching into the cart and grabbing Hailey into my arms. “You threatened to kidnap Iana, and then you shot me in the kidney…”

“Water under the bridge,” he purred, stepping closer to me. “Now, don’t just stand there and pretend you’re not happy to see me,” he said, tucking a stray bit of hair behind my ear, which just made my stomach turn.

“No, I’m not!” I shouted, reaching up and grabbing his hand, twisting his wrist behind his back, which caused him to cry out in pain.

I made a grab for Hailey’s jacket then, booking it out of the store faster than lightning. I strapped Hailey into her carseat again, before getting into my chair and locking all the doors. I drove home, not saying a word, and Hailey seemed to understand that it was time for quiet. Once we got home, I put her down for a nap without protests from her end and went downstairs, walking into the kitchen to see if there was anything I could throw together for dinner, for I hadn’t actually bought anything at the store. As I walked over to the fridge, thinking that we had some meat tucked away, I saw the pack of Old Style that Nicholas and Iana shared between them, and it only seemed to beckon me closer.

. . .

IANA’S POV

I arrived home after drinks with Axel, pulling up in front of the house. Dad was working late at the firm as usual, while Clayton and Fionn were busy at their young architect’s group. Carla was at a sleepover, and Charlie was spending the night at Franny’s. He had bonded a lot with Ezra over the past summer, and I was pleased for that bond. As I got out of my car, locking it up, I stepped through the gate, slightly confused as to why the living room appeared dark. I walked up the porch steps, something didn’t feel right as I stuck my key into the lock, turning it quickly and stepping inside.

I was blown away by the fact that Hailey was screaming like a banshee from upstairs, and there was no sign of my mother. I shut and locked the door quickly, running up the stairs and going straight to my bedroom. “Mama’s here, baby,” I said, throwing open the door and promptly scooping her up into my arms. “Are you okay?”

“Hailey hungry and hurting,” she said, pointing to her tummy.

“Hurting?” I asked.

“It hurts!” she yelled, squirming in my arms, and I immediately put her down, before she dashed to the bathroom.

I blinked, amazed that she’d been able to hold it, and went into the bathroom when she was finished to hold her up at the sink to wash her hands. I gathered her into my arms then and walked towards my bedroom door. “Let’s go get you something to eat, huh?” I said, and she immediately relaxed in my arms. We went downstairs, and I flicked on the lights then, and thought my mom might’ve gone into the office and plugged in her headphones, thus not hearing Hailey’s cries. “Mom?” I called out, walking towards the kitchen, and stopped in my tracks when I saw her, passed out, on the kitchen floor, several bottles of Old Style around her. “Fuck,” I whispered, the anger bubbling inside me. “Honey, I need you to go into the living room,” I said, and set Hailey down. “Turn the T.V. on loud, okay?”

“Mama, what’s wrong with Grandma?”

“Grandma’s sick, and Mama’s gonna help her,” I explained, setting Hailey down, and she dashed into the living room.

I stood on the threshold of the kitchen then, waiting to hear the sound of obnoxious cartoon characters filling the background and, once I did, walked over to her. I turned on the hose function of the sink on cold and turned it onto her, and she immediately sputtered in protest. “I went out with Axel for a few hours, and I come home, to see that you’ve neglected my daughter, your own granddaughter, to get fucking drunk?!” I yelled at her as she stumbled to her feet. “I can’t believe you right now!”

“Iana… Honey, you don’t…”

“I don’t want to fucking hear it,” I said, cutting across her words of apology. “You promised me that this wouldn’t happen again. You said shit would be different once Tommy left. Was that a lie, too?!”

“No, baby, it wasn’t…”

“I’m talking!” I yelled, my eyes filling with tears. “I trusted you with my baby, and you’ve failed miserably. I’m done,” I said, shaking my head at her. “I’m so done. I can’t do this anymore.” I turned and walked out of the kitchen then, and went towards Hailey. “Come on, sweetheart,” I said, and took her upstairs. I changed her into something warmer, and then filled my suitcase with as much of our things as it could carry. I made a mental note to ask Penny to have someone come and collect my things as I left my bedroom, and walked down the stairs. I was hemmed in by Mom for a moment, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Iana, please…”

“No,” I said, cutting across her blubbering. I stalked out the front door, stomping down the porch and walking across the street, while all the while Hailey squirmed in my arms. I kissed her forehead, and felt that it was warm. “You have a fever,” I whispered, shaking my head in disgust at my mother’s behavior as I headed through the gate of Pops and Uncle Ian’s place. I unlocked the door and stepped inside, before shutting it and heading towards the kitchen. “Hey,” I said, and stepped inside.

“You okay?” Pops asked, taking Hailey immediately.

“Nope,” I replied. “Hailey’s sick.”

“What’s she got?” Uncle Ian asked.

“A fever,” I replied, taking off my coat and watching as Pops relieved Hailey of hers. “Got any tylenol?” I ask him.

“Sure,” he replied, getting it down from the cupboard.

“What else is going on?” Pops wanted to know, settling Hailey in his arms, before Uncle Ian gave her the pills and some water.

“Let’s get her to bed first,” I said. I got Hailey an apple, which I sliced, and she ate it before her eyes grew heavy. I took her upstairs and tucked her into the bed in the big room, which would have to do for the night. I kissed her forehead and straightened her pajamas before heading back downstairs. “We need to call Uncle Lip,” I announced.

“Why Lip?” Pops asked.

“What’s going on?” Uncle Ian wanted to know.

“Mom relapsed,” I replied, leaning up against the counter.

“Shit,” Uncle Ian whispered, looking torn.

Pops sighed. “Do what you gotta do, Fire Crotch,” he replied.

Uncle Ian nodded. “I’ll call Lip when I get there,” he said, kissing Pops goodbye and squeezing my shoulder before he bolted for the front door, and left.

“You okay?” Pops asked.

I sighed. “I’m staying a few days, if that’s cool.”

He nodded. “Of course. And then what?”

“And then, I’m moving out. For good,” I said, and he raised his eyebrows. “I’m getting an apartment closer to work, so the commute is easier.”

“You sure?”

I nodded. “I am. I’m eighteen. It had to happen sometime.”

“As long as you’re sure.”

I sighed, biting my bottom lip. “My mother just fell off the wagon, throwing over a decade of sobriety down the drain. I’m not sure of anything anymore.”


	9. I Love Playing With Fire

I handed over my copy of Mom and Dad’s house key the following day to Penny, and she promised she’d get some trusted people to take my clothes from the house. She then explained that they actually had a realtor for the Kennedy family and, since I was a main associate and friend of the family, that I would be more than welcome to use her services. I agreed, and thus began my search for apartments just hours after moving out of my parent’s house.

“I don’t want some hoity-toity place, Penny,” I told her as she explained what kinds of listings the realtor could look for on my behalf. “It’s not me. I’m from the ghetto, and although the finer things in life are within my grasp, I don’t want Hailey to grow up entitled. I didn’t, and neither should she. I was someplace safe, clean, and nice. But not…”

“Hoity-toity, fancy-schmancy, I get it, I get it,” Penny said, smiling at me from where we sat upon her circular, modern couch of the living room of her work suite. “You don’t have to worry about a thing. Our realtor is an old family friend, and I’ve told her plenty about you so that she knows exactly what to look for when it comes to you.”

I rolled my eyes, throwing my head back onto the couch. “Gee, that makes me feel loads better, thanks, Penny,” I muttered, stiffening automatically when I heard a key in the lock. I sat bolt upright then, relief washing over me as Lacey walked elegantly through the door, and shut it behind her. “Hey, Lace,” I said.

“Hey,” she replied, walking over in her designer heels towards the couch, a to-go tray of coffees in her finely manicured hands. “Penny called, said there was a crisis situation,” she went on, and set down the tray upon the coffee table, before squeezing my shoulder and leaning down to kiss Penny, before moving to sit beside her. “Last thing I need is one of my girls in a crisis, so, come on. Hit me. What happened?”

“Jesus, you do not hold back, do you?” I asked, raising my eyebrows at Penny.

Penny grinned. “She’s my girlfriend,” she said, shrugging her shoulders and leaning back, and Lacey immediately put an arm around her shoulders. “What can I say?”

I sighed. “You tell her everything?”

“Just that you needed an apartment,” Lacey said quickly, winding her fingers through Penny’s with a quick smile to me. “Don’t worry. She mentioned that it was important, but…”

“Not like you told me either,” Penny said, shrugging her shoulders. “You just said you needed somewhere safe for you and Hailey to live. Didn’t really understand what you meant. If anything, Hailey is nothing but safe, given that your family lives in the immediate surrounding houses by your place. And, given that they’d fucking kill anyone who so much as looked at her or you funny…”

I sighed, rolling my shoulders. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just said that it was a crisis situation without giving you proper background…”

“Why didn’t you?” Lacey asked. “Don’t you trust us?”

I fixed Lacey with a look. “What? What’s that supposed to mean? Of course I fucking trust you guys! Why would you think I wouldn’t…?”

“Your lack of willingness to tell us why you needed to move out of the neighborhood you were born and raised in, for starters,” Penny said, cocking her head to one side, while all the while elevating one of her shoulders. “Just a guess…”

“It’s my mom,” I said, cutting into the final word of her speech, which caused Penny to come to a full stop, and she turned to look briefly at Lacey before she turned back to me. “I’ve got to move with Hailey because of my mom…”

“Whoa, your mom?” Lacey asked.

“What happened?” Penny whispered.

“She fucking relapsed,” I whispered, the words thundering through my lips then as tears sprung to my eyes, the shame washing over my entire being. “She seemed to be doing so well, you know? I mean, when me and the boys accepted her back into our lives, after that whole shit show with Tommy was over and done with, she promised… She fucking promised that things would be better and that she wouldn’t… She fucking let me down,” I said, my voice breaking then, as I reached the point of no return. I got to my feet, pacing around the space, while digging my hands through my hair. “I mean, I guess it would’ve been one thing if she picked up a bottle again while she was at work or some bullshit like that, but no. She fucking did it when she was supposed to be keeping Hailey safe. I trusted her with my daughter, and she just up and threw it away like it was nothing to her, like it was fucking trash or some shit. Hailey was sick, and she was screaming, and there was my mother, my fucking mother, passed out fucking drunk in the fucking kitchen, bottles littered around her, while her granddaughter was screaming for her grandma upstairs. Hailey had a fever that night,” I whispered, the words tearing themselves from my mouth. “My baby girl had a fucking fever, and all my mom could do was drink, like that decade-plus of sobriety meant absolutely nothing to her, like Hailey meant nothing to her, like my trust, which she claimed to want back so desperately, meant nothing to her. That’s why I need an apartment, someplace safe, for me and Hailey,” I said, turning back around and facing Penny and Lacey. “My baby comes first, and I’ll never forgive myself for not being there for her that day. I need her to be safe so she doesn’t find her way down a bottle like so many members of my goddamn family, who I love more than anything, have managed to do. I’m fucking done with catering to my mother’s dependency and walking on eggshells of every minute of everyday. I’m taking a stand by moving out of there and making a better life for myself because, in so doing, I’m making a better life for Hailey, because she will always come first.”

Penny leaned forward then, her face filled with concern. “You needed to leave, I get that,” she told me, her tone gentle.

“Did your mother reach out at all?” Lacey asked. “I mean, has she given any indication as to why she fell off the wagon after so many years?”

“It doesn’t fucking matter, does it?!” I shot back, hating how rough I was being with Lacey but, at the same time, hating how my mother had totally disregarded Hailey that night. “She put my child in danger, Lacey, so everything else goes out the window.”

Lacey sighed. “You’re right.  I know you’re right.”

“I’ll see that the realtor makes you her top priority,” Penny assured me with a smile. “Don’t worry about a thing, Iana. We’ll get you and Hailey somewhere safe to live.”

. . .

The next few days were a blur, filled with moving with Hailey into a place of our own, which was closer to Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy’s place, and thus, a better commute to work in the mornings, plus finishing up my second quarter of college. After I turned in my final essay the night before the quarter ended, I smiled to myself, knowing that I was accomplishing something great, and that, ultimately, it would serve me well to have a degree. After that, my time was spent moving into my new apartment with Hailey, and Penny considerately cut my work hours slightly so as Hailey could have me by her side as she settled in accordingly.

I put Hailey to bed that first night in our new place, and spent the next twenty minutes or so cleaning up the living room. I kept going over my schedule for the following few weeks; I would have to find someone to watch Hailey, as my trips to Europe would come as spring turned into summer, and I would be making more deals for Nell’s Rags as their COO. Hailey would always be my top-priority, and although I would’ve loved more than anything to take her with me on all these trips, the first one being a surprise from Penny, as she wanted to plan this one out as my first solo trip, was to happen in just two and a half weeks. I knew I had to keep on my toes, and even though work relations with Liam was slightly awkward, given that he was less than pleased by my lunch with Illiana, I knew I had to keep afloat.

A knock at my door caught me off-guard; besides Pops, Uncle Ian, Yev, Uncle Lip, Aunt Mandy, Axel, Aunt Debbie, Franny, and Penny, nobody knew for sure where my new place was. I finished stacking Hailey’s books upon one of the shelves in the living room and crossed over to the front door, peeking out through the spyhole, which I’d insisted my new place have, and felt my eyebrows raise up automatically as I caught sight of Liam standing in the hallway. I unlocked both locks of the door, and stood in the doorway, allowing my shocked expression to remain in its place as I stared up at him.

“Good evening, Liam,” I said, keeping it formal.

“Hey, Iana,” he said, obviously shocked by the formality. He opened the bag he was carrying, a bottle of Armand de Brignac in his hand; I could vaguely see _Ace of Spades_ written on the expertly-cut pink glass. “Congratulations on the new place.”

I bit at my lower lip then, before I widened the openness of the door and stepped aside, allowing Liam to come in. I detected a slight amount of surprise on his lips as I did so, but nevertheless he crossed my threshold and ventured in. I shut and locked the door behind me, and made my way to the kitchen, beside the living room, and Liam moved to follow me. “Was Penny the one who told you my address?” I asked him.

“Guilty,” he replied, and I smirked at him, rolling my eyes as I stood on my toes, getting down two champagne flutes from the top shelf of my cabinet. “I told her that, if I did know the address of this place, that I would always come in peace.”

“Fair enough,” I said, getting the cork out of its drawer, and Liam placed the bottle on the kitchen island. I took the cork and used the blade side to open the bottle, whereupon I used its cork attachment to uncork the bottle. It popped, and Liam and I mutually exclaimed when the bubbly attempted to escape the bottle, but I managed to pour it into the respective flutes before it managed to do so.

“Excited about living alone?”

I shrugged, staring into the bubbly for a moment before looking up at him. “Not really alone, Liam,” I told him, feeling a smile playing at my lips. “Hailey’s in her room asleep.”

“I guess I meant without your parents,” he amended.

I handed over one of the flutes to Liam, who took it, and raised my own. “Guess it’s going to prove to be an adjustment,” I replied, raising my glass. “To… New beginnings, I guess?” I said, and found that it came out more like a question than anything else.

Liam clinked his glass to mine. “What are you questioning?”

I sighed, rolling my shoulders as I brought the drink to my lips, overwhelmed at how wonderful it tasted. “Well, I guess, even though this is a new step for me, in getting myself into a new kind of living situation, I still wonder…”

“What?”

“How I’m going to navigate myself, and control myself, from wrecking things, because I always seem to do that… Wreck things,” I said, swirling the drink in my glass.

“You don’t wreck things, Iana.”

I shook my head. “No, I do. Because I can’t help it. Look, I know we agreed to be friends and everything, and I’m even trying to make nice with Illiana, but…”

“I know,” Liam said, cutting across me, and I raised my eyes to his. “This is a hell of an adjustment for me, too, Iana. I don’t know how the fuck I’m supposed to cope with any of this. I mean…” He sighed, staring into my eyes. “What you’ve got to understand, here, Iana, is that the arrangement between Illiana and I… It’s complicated.”

I leaned back then, wrapping my free hand around the base of the counter behind me. “Hell of a way to talk about your upcoming marriage.”

“It’s not going to be a marriage, Iana.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Should I know what you mean?”

He sighed. “No. You probably shouldn’t.”

I rolled my eyes. “You close yourself off, and I end up pushing you away…”

“It’s who we are, Iana.”

I swallowed then, lifting the glass up to my lips again. “I don’t know… Maybe I should go back to my therapist and figure out what the fuck I’m doing…”

“Why would you want that?”

“Maybe because I need my head examined?” I asked, laughing darkly.

“You don’t need your head examined, Iana.”

“Yeah?” I asked, lifting my gaze to his. “Why not?”

“Because you’re amazing the way you are,” he replied.

I scoffed. “Thanks, Bruno Mars.”

“No, I mean it,” he said, and I cut off my scoffing. “I’m not fucking with you right now, Iana, really, I’m not. I love who you are, and how you act. You’re amazing.”

I wetted my lips then, not fully understanding it, and yet, I believed it was truly a moment when I seemed to get, for the first time, just where Liam was coming from. “Yeah, I love who you are, too, Liam,” I replied. “You scare the shit out of me, and you’re stubborn as fuck…”

“Takes one to know one,” Liam said, smirking.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said, rolling my eyes. “But, I don’t know. You make me feel alive. And I know I shouldn’t say this, but it’s different with you. You push my buttons, and I love that you do that. I mean, you’re a heartbreaker, and you’ve hurt me more than once, but, hey, we always want what we can’t have, right?”

Liam looked shell-shocked by my words then, and looked like he would say something in response to me, were it not for the knocking coming from the other side of my front door. “You should probably get that,” he said.

I nodded, giving him a quick smile before downing the rest of my champagne and making my way from the kitchen, through the living room, and towards the front door. I peeked through the spyhole again, and felt the smile on my face turn genuine then as I unlocked and opened it for the second time that night. “Axel!” I said, pleased. “What’s up?”

“Brought you some Old Style,” he said, holding the six pack aloft, and walking over the threshold without hesitation. He came to a full stop then, as he gazed at Liam, standing in my kitchen, and I moved so that I was slightly between them. “Didn’t know you already had some company, Iana.”

I shrugged. “What’s drinks between friends?” I asked.

Axel dragged his hands through his hair. “How could you even attempt to be friends with someone like him, Iana?”

“Axel, you have the wrong idea…” Liam began.

“Hey, man, I’m not talking to you!” Axel said, jabbing a finger at Liam, who stopped talking immediately, and yet didn’t take his eyes off Axel as he turned and looked at me. “How could you let him into your house, Iana, after all the hell he’s put you through?”

I sighed then, not wanting this at all. “Axel, Liam and I are _friends_ , just like you and me,” I told him then, hating the fact that he was acting like a dog marking his territory. “I’m allowed to have whoever I want over at my place. Besides, Axel, I think you’re getting the wrong idea about all this, like Liam said,” I went on, wanting to diffuse the situation more than anything. “But I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you. You’re not my boyfriend.”

“I may not be your boyfriend anymore, Iana, but I am your friend. A friend who cares a whole hell of a lot about you, not like this rich scum.”

“Axel…” Liam said, his tone a warning.

“I’ve got this, Liam,” I said, my tone firm. “Axel, you really have to stop with this territorial, rabid dog bullshit. I am fine. I wouldn’t have let Liam inside if I wasn’t fine with him being here with me. I’m sorry if this upsets you, but, like I said, it’s none of your business.”

“Iana, I’m just concerned…”

“Well, I don’t need your concern!” I cried out then, throwing my hands up into the air. “I’m sorry if you don’t like the company I keep, but like I said, it’s none of your goddamn business who I decide to be friends with!”

Axel rolled his eyes then, not hesitating for even a moment before he shoved the six pack in my arms. “Yeah, well, don’t come crying to me when he fucks you before breaking your heart again,” he said gruffly, stomping out of my apartment and slamming the door behind me, and I was so thankful when Hailey didn’t wake up.

. . .

“So, I just want you to know that I’ve thought long and hard about where negotiations are needed most from our generous benefactors and I’ve decided that your first trip now that you’re back as Nell’s Rag’s COO will be in Paris,” Penny announced on the first Wednesday of April. “I hope this is satisfactory to you.”

“Paris?” I asked, a tremor developing throughout my body at Penny’s announcement. “I’m going to Paris? Me?”

“You are going to Paris,” Penny assured me, grinning. “Your red-eye flight has been booked for Saturday morning.”

I mulled that over then, remembering Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy’s promise that I could drop off Hailey at their place, and that they’d be more than happy to watch her while I was away. “Okay, I guess I just have to pack,” I said, and Penny just kept right on grinning at me.

I touched down at Charles de Gaulle Airport at the appointed time and immediately got off the first-class section, attempting to remember all the French words I knew so that I could find my way to baggage claim. Once my things had been retrieved, I stepped outside and was pleased to see a luxury town car waiting for me, all set to take me to the Hotel Raphael, which was set to be a little less than half an hour driving time. I stared out my window as we drove, the sixty-degree weather altogether pleasant as we drove along the A1.

Once we arrived, I tipped the driver generously, thanking him as he handed over my suitcase from where it was in the trunk, and stepped inside the swanky foyer of the hotel. I made my way up to the front desk, smiling at the concierge. “Bonjour, je suis Iana Milkovich.”

“Ah, oui, madame,” said the concierge, smiling at me as I handed over my identification. “You will be staying in the Eiffel Tower Suite,” he went on, his French accent thick as he checked me in via his computer.

“Merci beaucoup, monsieur,” I said, smiling at him as he handed over my room key and returned my I.D., declining the offer of help up to my room, and instead made my way over to the elevator on my own, pulling my suitcase behind me on the finely carpeted floor. I pressed the correct button inside the elevator, waiting for the ding sound and stepping inside. All I wanted to do was to have a shower and nap before my obligatory dinner with the buyers that evening, knowing full well that I had to have my game face on for the occasion.

The doors dinged open on the correct floor, and I walked down the hallway briefly until the sight of my suite’s door greeted me. I slid the key card in the lock and stepped inside, rolling my suitcase after me and shutting the door, which clicked automatically behind me. As I stepped through the living room, my eyes popped then at the sight of the crystal-cut vase of red roses on the white marble tabletop in the sitting room. I let go of my suitcase, crossing over and inspecting them, and spotted the card readily among the blooms, and snatched at it, pulling it open quickly and gazing at it.

 _So lovely to have us working together again_. _See you tonight_.

_L_

I swallowed then, lowering the card, knowing full well who had sent these. _Well_ , _Kennedy wanted a show_ , _did he_? I thought to myself, turning and looking at my suitcase, which was stuffed to the gills with designer outfits that Penny insisted I bring. _Well_ , _if he wanted a show_ , _I_ _would damn well give him a show_ , I decided then.

. . .

Much to my surprise, Liam and I anticipated each other’s moves to this complex dance of negotiation tactics before the other even suspected it. It was a delight working with him, I found, and the buyers were practically throwing money at us by the time our final dinner meeting had taken place, five days after I’d arrived in Paris. We’d gotten more than Penny had wanted, and after a phone call to confirm that the deal had gone through with flying colors, Penny promised a just reward for us both.

“You know, I honestly thought you were just going to step on my toes and attempt to take all the credit,” I told Liam as we walked along the streets of Paris, one night after our final meeting. “I am surprised to say that I’m pleasantly surprised with your demeanor these past several days of negotiation, Kennedy.”

Liam clutched at his chest then, laughing. “I’m hurt, Milkovich, seriously hurt, by the implications behind your words,” he said mockingly, and I couldn’t help but laugh at him. “I thought, after all this time, you would’ve known me better by now.”

I sighed. “Can’t say I do,” I admitted then, shrugging my shoulders. “If I’m being honest, you’re just full of surprises, Liam.”

“Yeah?” he asked, putting an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer, and I forced myself not to stiffen at his touch, but my heart beating a mile a minute, he could likely sense. “How am I full of surprises, Iana?”

“Well, just that I don’t know what you’re going to do or say, unless we’re locked in a negotiation meeting,” I replied, a nervous laugh escaping my lips. “I mean, let’s face it, it’s the one time where we’re guaranteed not to fight. Because, if we do end up going down that road, we’re at risk of not making bank for Nell’s Rags.”

“My baby sister’s company has always been a top-priority for me,” Liam said, and I turned and looked up at him. “She means a lot to me.”

I smiled. “She’s lucky to have you,” I replied. “I said as much when I was sixteen, and now, at almost nineteen, I’ll say it again. She’s lucky to have you, Liam.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he replied with a shrug. “I think I’m luckier to have her. I mean, I love my mother, but… She’s been distant lately.”

“Penny said she was at your chalet,” I said quietly, not wanting to upset him. “Have you made any attempts to contact her or go there?”

He sighed. “Mom’s always been the kind of person who will show up anywhere, at anytime,” he admitted, “but she likes you to call first.”

I nodded as we rounded a corner. “And, let me guess, she hasn’t been picking up the phone?” I asked him, and he nodded. “Bad reception in Switzerland?”

“Well, the chalet is a sizeable property in the mountains, but that’s beside the point. We have our own cell towers throughout the property.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course you do.”

“So, it’s not the reception that’s the problem, it’s the caller I.D.,” Liam explains. “She sees it’s me calling, and deliberately decides not to answer.”

I bit my lip then, wondering why someone as kind as Rose would deliberately ignore her only son like this. “Penny said she’s coming back for the wedding…”

Liam nodded. “That’s the plan.”

“Any idea why she’s gone full-silent?” I want to know. “I mean, unless she’s found herself a new boy toy…”

Liam laughed aloud. “Okay, the last thing I want to consider is my mother having sex. I never heard her with my father, so I could myself lucky.”

“I never heard my parents having sex either,” I reply, and Liam turns and looked at me. “My pops and my mother,” I explained, laughing. “They did just one and done, and got me, so I wasn’t around for the brief, tequila-filled, courtship in Mexico.”

“You ever wonder what it would’ve been like, had you not existed?”

I nodded. “Of course. But I think my family is stronger than ever because of me. Had my mother and Pops not had me as a bond between them, maybe it would’ve been more difficult for her to be so passionate in her representation of him in court. But, because I’m here, I don’t know, I can speak both Gallagher and Milkovich. It certainly helps things.”

“Wish my family was like that,” he said quietly. “We’re so closed-off. I’ve opened up a lot more because of Penny, and, well… You.”

I smiled up at him, shaking my head. “No, it’s you,” I assured him, and we stopped walking beside the Seine, and Liam turned and looked down at me. “I think this has always been you, Liam, whether you know it now or not. You’re not this cold, uptight, businessman, millionaire playboy, although I think that’s what you want people to see. In reality, you’re kind and compassionate, not to mention intelligent and good-hearted. You’re many things, Liam Kennedy, and you just have to let yourself believe that you can be good.”

“I want to believe it, Iana.”

“Then believe it,” I told him, smiling. “Believe that you are good. I know you can, because I know you want to.”

He sighed, his hand snaking up from where it rested along my shoulder, and he permitted his thumb to run along my bottom lip, while I forced my body not to react to him. “I just wish I could be good for you, Iana.”

I shook my head at him. “Don’t do this, Liam,” I whispered, begging him, although I was unsure whether I wanted him to do it or didn’t. “We can’t do this…”

“Tell me why not.”

“Illiana, my job,” I said. “My heart,” I whispered then, and his thumb stopped moving, and he merely staring down at me. “I tried giving it to you, Liam, and you threw it back in my face. I don’t want to risk it again.”

“There’s no risk, Iana…”

I sighed, shaking my head. “There’s every risk in the book, Liam.”

“Tell me you don’t want me.”

I sighed. “You know I can’t do that, Liam. There’s a big difference between me not wanting you and me not wanting you to touch me, to take me… You know what I want, but it’s what you have in your life, right now, that’s the problem…”

“What’s that?”

“Secrets, lies, a drop-dead gorgeous supermodel on your arm that you’re due to marry in a little over two months,” I replied. “It hurt me so much to have to figure out your engagement by looking at that gaudy ring on her beautiful hand…”

“Do you realize how much it hurt me to have to ask her in the first place?”

I blinked. “You had to ask her…?”

“Yeah. No. I don’t fucking know,” Liam said, looking torn. “Just… Please. Can we just have this moment, right here, right now, in Paris?”

I shook my head. “We really shouldn’t…”

“Tell me you don’t want this, Iana.”

I sighed, the tremor starting in my body all over again, and I no longer had the willpower to stop it from happening, nor did I have the power to stop… “You know I want this,” I whispered then, and felt alive and anew as Liam wrapped his arms around me, and kissed me.

. . .

When I moved to my assigned seat in first class in the wee hours of the morning, I was relieved that Liam apparently was not on this flight. Nevertheless, I didn’t breathe steadily until the doors had closed and we’d begun to prepare for takeoff. I wetted my lips then as we exited our gate and were ultimately waved into the air, and all I could think about was arriving home and putting Paris behind me forever.

I fell asleep on the flight home and, when we arrived back in Chicago, I turned on my phone, and texted Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy that I needed to make one stop before picking up Hailey, and they seemed to understand. Since Penny’s work suite was just upstairs, and once I explained where I was going, they just said that they would take the extra time to make sure that Hailey wasn’t forgetting anything. As I rode the elevator up to the top floor, I kept my fingers crossed that Liam wouldn’t be there, and I was relieved to find Penny alone.

“Oh! Well, if it isn’t my _brilliant_ COO!” she gushed as soon as I let myself in, and dashed across the living room to throw her arms around me. “Oh. Just coming from the plane, I see,” she said, and took note of my sweats with a smile. “Well, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“We need to talk, Penny,” I said quietly.

“Of course we can talk,” she said, and squeezed me again. “You got those old geezers to cough up more than two million what they’d originally promised. As far as I’m concerned, we can talk about anything you want.”

I swallowed then. “Anything?”

Penny smiled. “Of course,” she said. “Hey, I just want you to know that you’ve done brilliantly as COO, Iana. Screw the degree; as far as I’m concerned, you don’t need it. I know you want it, and I support your pursuit of it wholeheartedly, but you’re amazing. Lacey and I couldn’t be more proud of all you’ve done.”

“It’s Liam,” I said, speaking before my courage left me entirely.

“Oh, fuck,” Penny said, looking worried. “Did he cross a line again?”

“We both did,” I reply.

“Dammit,” Penny said, dragging her hands through her hair. “He swore to me that he’d be the utmost professional while he was in Paris with you…”

“Don’t blame Liam for everything,” I tell her. “It was my fault, too. I’m easily seduced by his words, and I hate myself for it.”

She sighed. “All right,” she said, crossing her arms. “Well, I’m glad you’re being honest with me about this, unless… Have you come here to quit?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m not quitting. But you did promise me via contract that Liam and I wouldn’t be…”

She nodded. “I know, and I apologize for that. Liam just told me it was going so well and he convinced me otherwise.”

I bit my lip then, crossing my own arms. “I don’t think it would be wise, or appropriate, for me to go on trips with him anymore,” I said softly. “Yeah, we do really well in the negotiation portion of the work, but once we’re done and we’re celebrating, all bets are off. It’s like we’re two totally different people when we’re alone…”

Penny sighed. “I understand.”

“I think, from now on, Penny, I should do these trips on my own.”

Penny mulled that over for a moment. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Very sure. I think I’m ready.”

Penny considered that for a moment. “I don’t think you’re ready, Iana. I know you’re ready,” she told me, and stuck out her hand. “All right. If this is what you want, solo trips as COO for Nell’s Rags, then I support you.”

I nodded again, and shook her hand. “Thank you.”

“Anything else I can do for you, Iana?”

“Yeah, just one thing,” I reply. “You tell Liam about my decision, because I would like not to deal with him any more than I absolutely have to.”

Penny nodded, although a flicker of discouragement went over her face, although it was done so quickly, I couldn’t be sure. “Consider it done,” she replied.


	10. Stick of Dynamite

I left Hailey with Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy as I flew from O’Hare to Heathrow, ready and waiting to greet London solo with a smile on my face. Liam had been surprisingly quiet after Penny had delivered the news that he wouldn’t be accompanying me on trips on behalf of Nell’s Rags anymore, and I was relieved that I didn’t have to be the one to have the conversation with him in the interim. Once I arrived at Heathrow, I pulled out my phone, taking it off of airplane mode as I walked through the airport itself, following the signs to baggage claim to retrieve my suitcase and get a car to my hotel.

I was surprised when I received a phone call, just after texting Penny to inform her that I’d arrived there safely, and placed the phone next to my ear. “Pops,” I said, pleased to hear from someone that always had my back. “What’s up?”

“You land in London yet?” he asked.

I scoffed, making my way towards the correct carousel. “No,” I replied, “thought I’d keep my phone on during the duration of the flight to make the attendants mad. Yeah, I’m fucking in London already,” I said, tapping my foot as I waited for my bag to come around.

“Okay, jesus, Iana, no need to bite my head off,” he said.

I sighed, rolling my shoulders. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” I replied. “It’s just that Hailey usually stays with Mom and Dad whenever I go out of town, and she cried a bit after I had to leave her with Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy…”

“Don’t worry, I’m taking her out later on today,” Pops confirmed as my suitcase came into view and I stepped forward, managing to grab it without taking a break from the conversation. “I mean, if you’re cool with that…”

“Pops, I would never not be okay with that,” I replied, moving quickly to find the nearest exit so as I could get a car. “Why wouldn’t I be? Unless…”

“Don’t worry, kiddo, I wouldn’t invite Murphy, even though Ian has been chewing me out for the past few days about it,” he replied. “I know that you don’t care if we see your mom, but if you want us to keep Hailey away from her…”

“Of course I fucking want Hailey to be kept away from her,” I replied, knowing full well just how harsh I sounded as I stepped outside into the late afternoon sunshine, waving to a driver who stood before a town car, a piece of thick paper boasting my name. “She fucking got drunk after years of sobriety, refuses to give me an explanation, and allowed Hailey to get sick when she promised me she’d keep her safe…”

“I think your mom wants to tell you what happened, Iana,” Pops said gently, as I nodded at the man to place my suitcase in the drunk, and let myself into the back of the car. “The trouble is, you’re not letting her get a word in.”

I scoffed, leaning back against the fine leather upholstery as the driver got into the right side of the vehicle, and drove through the airport parking lot, all on the left side of the road. “I guess I just don’t want to deal with her shit right now,” I muttered.

“And you’re allowed to make that decision,” Pops said. “But I just don’t want you to lose sight of what really matters here.”

“Like my daughter’s safety?” I asked, and I could sense Pops hesitating over the phone. “If that’s what you’re saying here, Pops, that I should let Mom get away with this, then that’s just fucking bullshit, and it’ll never happen.”

He sighed. “That’s not what I meant, kiddo.”

I bit my lip. “Look, I’m in the car on the way to the hotel now, so I really shouldn’t be taking a phone call or anything right now. Listen, Hailey can be around you, Yev, Uncle Ian, Uncle Lip, Aunt Mandy, Franny, Clark, Ezra… But not Mom or Dad, or any of the kids, except Fionn, for the time being.”

“You seem to love Fionn the most out of that bunch.”

I smiled automatically then. “Of course I do,” I replied. “Clayton was so goddamned independent from the get-go, and Fionn always needs me somehow. But it’s not like it doesn’t work both ways; I need him, too. He’s the only one I can really talk to about all the shit that went down way back when, because he was there, and he gets it on that level.”

“You know, he’s not the only one that’s there for you now, Iana.”

I smiled a second time, nodding. “I know, Pops. And, just like with Fionn, it works both ways. I will always be there for you, too.”

“I know that, kiddo,” he said, his tone gentle. “And, just know, that I’m yelling at your mom every single day for doing what she did. Doesn’t help much, because Ian says that it could only cause her to relapse, and your dad isn’t too happy with me either. Problem is, the two of them handle her with kid gloves because of her past.”

“She’s not the only one with a fucked past, Pops,” I said quietly, turning and looking out at the city of London, and marveling at its beauty. “We’ve all got something lodged back there that we can’t talk about at all, or only with a select few people. She needs to get to the point where she doesn’t just fall back on it.”

“That’s exactly what I tell her, Iana.”

“Well, not that it would make a difference, but tell her that from me, too,” I told him, my voice firm as I considered it. “Last thing she needs is only you giving her hell.”

“I’m not the only one, Iana, believe me.”

“I do, Pops,” I tell him. “Always.”

. . .

The next week was filled with too many buyers meetings to count; I’d never had such big fish to catch before, and they were hell-bent on talking me down, as I believed some of them were stuck back in the 1950’s, meaning that they thought I should’ve been married and standing in a kitchen cooking a roast dinner or some shit. Nevertheless, I forced myself to remain as compliant as I could with all of them, knowing that Penny wanted this deal to happen no matter what. It took me by surprise when one of the three head buyers, Antony Maybrook, told me that he wanted to meet for a solo drink, just to go over the finishing touches, once the deal had gone through, and I told him we could meet at the bar at my hotel.

“Mr. Maybrook,” I said, offering my hand to him on the night in question, and he took it, clasping it just the right amount as I carefully slipped into the private booth he’d gotten for the two of us. “I take it you don’t want me to just sign on the dotted line?”

He grinned. “Don’t worry, I have plenty of paperwork for you, Miss Milkovich.”

I lifted up the glass of provided champagne, and found that it didn’t compare in the slightest to the one that Liam had brought me in my apartment. “Very well, then,” I said, knowing that patience was the key in any given sales situation, and yet I would not force myself to give into this slippery man’s will. “What is it you want now, Maybrook?”

“Nothing that I think you’re not prepared to give me,” he replied, his tone steady.

I blinked, lowering my flute back down onto the table. “Meaning?” I asked, forcing my tone not to change, for I had to exude confidence at every opportunity.

He smirked then, looking me over. “Do you honestly know how dangerous it is for a woman to be traveling alone, doing a man’s job?”

I felt my hackles rising automatically, but wouldn’t allow myself to give into it, for that was exactly what this man wanted, to label me as an irrational woman and, therefore, incapable of making big important deals like this. “I like to think that the workforce has become all the more equal in the last few decades,” I replied. “Of course, there are a few outliers to that equation, which include my dear friend, Penny, CEO of Nell’s Rags. And then there’s the other side of the same coin; you, for instance.”

Maybrook looked entirely disinterested in my reply, and yet, he kept staring at me with his yellow-green eyes, an unnerving expression on his face. “Oh, really?” he asked, and it was then that I felt his hand on my leg; stupidly, I’d worn a little black dress that Penny had specifically designed for me, and, whenever I sat down, it rode up my hips ever so slightly, leaving my milk white legs on display. “I think that, perhaps, you need a reminder of where you are on the totem pole of life, Miss Milkovich.”

“What does that mean?” I asked, speaking through my teeth now, wanting more than anything to grab ahold of his wrist and twist it, but found that I was suddenly nervous.

“It means that you’ve been living too much in the twenty-first century,” Maybrook went on, and began to glide his hand upwards along my leg, and towards the dresses hem. “I think, perhaps, someone like you should be at home with your daughter, instead of cavorting around Europe doing a man’s job.”

I reached out then, taking ahold of his wrist before he could access the area between my legs, and narrowed my eyes at him. “I think you’re thinking too much in the past, Maybrook,” I told him as I felt my eyes flashing in rage. “This is not the time or place for you to be _fondling_ a business associate without her permission. Now, I’m going to ask you nicely,” I continue, digging my nails expertly into the flesh of his arm, “to keep your hands to yourself, or you’re going to be picking yourself up off the floor when I’m finished with you.”

Although he’d stiffened when my nails made contact with his skin, he twisted his arm out of my grip and pinned me back against the booth, his arm lengthwise against my throat, the other pinning me back on my stomach. “Tell me why I shouldn’t discipline you for not respecting the man you’re working with,” he said, his breath a mixture of fine wine and garlic, and I shut my eyes on a wave of pure revulsion. “I’ll bet you like it rough; someone like you, raised up from the Chicago ghetto. I’ll bet you like being told what to do and smacked around like the cunt you really are…”

It was amazing to me that, just a moment later, the pressure on my neck was gone, and my eyes flew open, as did my mouth, when I saw the scene unfold before my. My hand flew to my throat, slightly bruised by that bastard’s arm, and yet, I managed to speak, just one word. “Liam,” I whispered then, shaking my head in shock.

“Don’t you _ever_ think about touching a woman like that again, you son of a bitch!” Liam yelled at Maybrook, holding him firmly by the collar of his starched white shirt, glaring down at him with those beautiful silver eyes of his. “And don’t you even _think_ about looking at, or even talking to Iana ever again! She’s more human and a harder worker than you’ll ever be, so just slither out of here, you fucking prick!” he said, socking him once in the face for good measure, before he dropped him, literally kicking his ass as Maybrook crawled out of there. Liam then turned and stared at me then, now struggling to get to my feet, and he helped me in steadying myself accordingly. “You okay?” he asked.

I raised my eyes to his, wanting more than anything to thank him, and to show him just how much I appreciated him. I felt whole as he stared down at me, his eyes full of concern, and maybe something else, as I struggled with the words. However, as always, my damned pride came out to play, and I narrowed my eyes at him. “What the hell are you doing here?!” I demanded, yanking my arm back from his grip.

“Apparently being your knight in shining armor,” he replied, and moved after me as I turned to leave the hotel bar. “What? Is it a turn-off to you or something?”

“Look, I had Maybrook under control,” I shot back, walking towards the hotel elevators and pressing the button. “I didn’t need you swooping in, like always, and taking control.” I turned back and looked at him then, shaking my head. “What the fuck are you even doing here? Penny said she was going to tell you that I wanted to do these trips on my own…”

The elevator dinged open then as Liam nodded, as I swore to myself as he walked into the elevator after me, and became infuriated when he pressed the same button as me, although all the executive suites were on that floor… “I know,” he replied, and I felt my nails digging into the palms of my hands as rage continued to flow throw me. “Penny and I had a discussion about it, of course, and I agreed that you were ready.”

“Then how in the hell can you explain being here?!” I hissed, becoming annoyed that the elevator was going so goddamned slowly.

“Had a charity function earlier this afternoon,” he replied, shrugging it off. “And before you ask me, no, I’m not making it up. I shook hands with His Majesty King William, and he seemed delighted to have someone like me in attendance.”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes as the elevator dinged open onto my floor, and swore under my breath as Liam moved to follow me. “This conversation is over.”

“Not from where I’m standing,” he replied, and took my arm to spin me around, but, when he did so, I socked him in the shoulder. “Whoa! Dammit, Iana!”

“I told you that nobody can fucking grab me when I’m least expecting it,” I said then, speaking through my teeth. “I have a lot of trust issues with men, and why the hell shouldn’t I? I was assaulted when I was five-years-old,” I said, and Liam looked sickened by the proclamation. “What are you giving me that face for?!” I demanded.

He sighed. “Sorry. You just… You never talk about your past.”

I rolled my eyes. “All my mother ever did was blame her past on the bullshit she put me and my brother’s through forever,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I’m never going to be like that when it comes to Hailey. Sure, I’ll probably talk about it with her when she’s old enough to understand it and stuff, but I’m not going to blame every insignificant thing in my life on my past, and how I’m predispositioned or some shit to be this way. Fucking imperfect.”

“Iana, of course you’re imperfect,” Liam replied, not unkindly, and my eyes readily snapped to meet his. “Everybody fucking is. If someone ever told you to be perfect, they’re fucking assholes, because perfection does not exist. It never did.”

“I know it doesn’t exist,” I said quietly. “Guess the whole me being damaged makes me feel that way even more…”

“You’re not damaged, Iana.”

“Of course I’m fucking damaged!” I shouted then, feeling the tears escaping my eyes and flowing down my cheeks. “I was conceived through a one-night-stand in Mexico, while my mother was drunk off her ass on tequila, and my biological father was pining after her own twin brother, and thought fucking her was the next best thing. I had to play mommy starting at the age of five after my dad ran off, and my mom hooked up with a cop who started abusing her and me. Not to mention the smoking at twelve, drinking at thirteen, and sex at fourteen really helped things over the course of my life. Let’s just say that, after everything, all the bullshit, all of it, I’m surprised I even lived to see eighteen.”

Liam searched my face then. “What else don’t I know about you, Iana?”

I shrugged, dashing the tears from my eyes. “Plenty.”

“I’d like to find out what else I don’t know.”

I sighed, looking back up at him. “And I’d like to know why in the hell you came all the way out to London. You said it was for some charity thing, and I’ll buy that, for now. But what made you stand up for me tonight? What made you grab Maybrook away from me like that? What is this thing between us, Liam? What’s really going on here? Because, as far as I can tell, you’re getting married at the end of next month, and I just don’t understand any of this…”

“Neither do I,” Liam replied, and wrapped his arm around my waist then, before yanking me at full-force against him, molding his body to mine as our lips met.

It felt so right, being there in his arms, and I wanted more than anything to kiss him back, and not just stand there like a statue. I wanted him to be mine, I saw that now; I wanted Liam more than almost anything, save for my daughter’s wellbeing. But, given Liam’s ties to Illiana, and the fact that he couldn’t seem to make up his mind, allowed the clouds to part, and permitted me to see the light.

Reaching upwards, I gently pushed him back then, and willed for myself not to cry. “We can’t do this again, Liam,” I said firmly, and said the one thing that I’d vowed never to say out loud. “As long as you’re marrying Illiana, and are engaged to her, this can’t happen. I won’t be second-best to you, Liam; I won’t. You say it won’t be a real marriage; well, it sure as shit seems like Illiana didn’t get the memo. So, as far as I’m concerned, you and I no longer have anything to say to each other on the matter. Because, as long as Illiana’s in your life in a romantic way, I can’t be,” I tell him then, finishing quickly before I unlock my hotel room door, and head inside, locking the door behind me. I lean up against it then, the fresh tears already falling down my face, as I sense Liam hesitating outside the door. However, my last resolve breaks as I hear his footsteps walking away from the door, and know then that the choice has been made.

. . .

 “That son of a bitch,” Penny said, pacing around the front room of her work suite when I told her what had happened in London.

“Look, Penny, it’s all right…”

“Of course it’s not all right!” she cried out then, whipping around to face me. “That son of a bitch has had his greedy little paws in the cookie jar for as long as I can remember, and it stops now. I am officially cutting him off.”

My eyes nearly popped out of my sockets. “But the Maybrook Cooperation has been giving you funding for Nell’s Rags ever since you founded it. He was one of your investors back when you were a fledgling company. You’d really just cut him off like that?”

“For you? Absolutely,” Penny replied, crossing her arms. “You’re my best friend, Iana, and you’re practically family anyhow. I don’t mince words, Iana, I mean what I say. Never in my life have I appreciated Maybrook, but he never did anything that would stick. This time, the hotel security footage backs up your claims of harassment and assault. It’s unacceptable, and I won’t stand for it any longer. He can use his millions to hire a whole team of lawyers for all I care; Nell’s Rags officially doesn’t need him.”

I shook my head. “Wow… Guess I just thought it’d be the typical reprimand and then I wouldn’t have to deal with him face-to-face again…”

Penny sighed. “I’m not your typical CEO, Iana. I take care of my family and friends first. And there are plenty of well-qualified, and better-mannered, investors who want a piece of the cake, so it’s not like we’ll be hurting for money.”

“I’m sure not,” I replied, perching on the edge of the couch. “It’s just…”

“What?”

“Well, you’ll see in the footage that, after Maybrook got off of me… Well, I didn’t push him off me. He was pulled from me.”

Penny raised her eyebrows. “Pulled from you?”

“Yeah,” I replied, swallowing. “By Liam.”

Penny sighed. “Look, I told him to stay away from you. He had this charity thing in London the same time you’d be there, and I told him not to stay at your hotel, but we have an investment in that hotel, so the rooms are free for us…”

“It’s okay,” I replied, raising my hand. “I’m not going to fault him for stepping in, although I didn’t really need his help.” I smiled slightly then. “Guess it’s in his nature to want to help, like it’s in everyone’s nature to want something they can’t have…”

Penny blinked, walking up to me then and sitting beside me. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying right now, Iana?”

I sighed, biting my lower lip. “Yeah, I guess I am…”

“You want to be with Liam,” she said quietly, the revelation coming to her as quickly as it had come to me, and that was saying something.

I shook my head then, feeling my shoulders automatically hunching. “Look, I know it’s stupid to want something like that, especially since he’s with Illiana, but…”

“But nothing,” Penny said, her voice firm. “If it’s taken you this long to admit that you have feelings for Liam, I can’t imagine how long it’ll take him.”

I scoffed then. “He’s a man, with a gorgeous fiancée on his arm. Chances are he’ll never want to admit he has feelings for South Side trash like me…”

“You are _not_ South Side trash, Iana,” Penny said, her voice firm. “And I don’t ever want you to hear you say that about yourself again. You hear me?”

I nodded, knowing full well that it wasn’t a promise that I could keep verbally yet. “Changing subject,” I said, turning to look at Penny, my voice firm, so that she knew the subject of me and Liam was closed. “Can I make a personal impact statement about what happened to me while I was in London?”

Penny smiled, reaching out and taking my hand. “I think that’s a great idea,” she replied, and put her arm around my shoulders.

. . .

“Nineteen!” Franny shouted as soon as she saw me, yanking me into her arms amid the swarm of people all around us. “ _You_ are nineteen, Iana Phillipa Milkovich! How does it feel?”

I rolled my eyes, taking the red solo cup filled with punch, and doing my best to grin at everyone around me, knowing that Franny standing guard beside me to keep my mom away from me for the night was the best I’d get right now. “I say… It feels pretty darn good! Let’s party hard!” I yelled then, feeling like a baseball umpire or some shit, before holding the cup aloft briefly, before tipping the liquid down my throat, while the whole party broke out in a group cheer, and urged me to chug.

I was passed around from person to person, and did my best to avoid Mom and Dad, not wanting my birthday to be wrecked by fighting with them. I felt immense relief when Yev took over guard duty from Franny, putting his arm around my shoulders. My brother resembled a glorified bouncer, and I felt a smirk developing on my lips as we made our way outside, and he lit a cigarette, handing it over to me.

“What’s the face about?” he asked.

I scoffed, watching as he lit a cigarette for himself, as I leaned back up against the house. “I don’t know. You look like a fucking bouncer,” I joked.

Yev grinned. “You know the only reason why you’re still standing is because it’s your birthday, right, little sis?” he asked.

I smirked more broadly this time, bringing the cigarette to my lips. “Oh, big brother. One false move, and I’ll have you on your ass. No questions asked.”

He nodded. “That’s the Milkovich in you talking.”

I laughed then, allowing the positivity to fill me up as I put the cigarette in my mouth. “You know it!” I shouted.

I drifted back inside after finishing my cigarette, doing my best to continue to ignore and avoid my parents, and had a couple more drinks before heading upstairs. It was quieter up there, and I shook my head at the splintered portion of the wall that I’d made several months back, when my eyesight was failing me, and I had zero idea what to do with my life. I stepped forward, checking out all the imperfections behind the wall, where the wood was sticking out through the shittier than shit wallpaper, and shook my head.

“Boy, you have seen some better days, my friend,” I muttered to myself, touching the edge of the wall, where the paneling was in slightly better condition.

“Iana?”

I turned around then, a sigh automatically escaping my lips as Liam came up the stairs and slowly walked towards me. “To what do I owe the pleasure on the first day of my final year of teenhood?” I asked him, my voice filled with sarcasm.

“You don’t need to be like that, Iana. Not with me.”

I crossed my eyes automatically then, and took a step backwards. “The walls are a preexisting condition, Liam. It’s just the way I am.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t think it is.”

“Of course it fucking is,” I said, fighting and losing the battle to keep my temper. “This can’t just go back and forth constantly. I know that’s what you want, but it can’t involve me, Liam. Not anymore; it just can’t.”

“Iana, I think I know what you want…”

“Then stop fucking waving it in my face like I mean nothing to you,” I shot back. “It’s clear the choice you made is what it is, and I don’t want to hear another goddamn thing about it.”

“Iana…”

“No! You fucking broke my heart, Kennedy!” I shouted at him, and continued stepping away as he worked hard to come closer. “Smashed it into little tiny pieces, and repeatedly do it again and again every single time we have this fucking conversation. I can’t go on and on like this, because I have fucking feelings, too. I may be South Side trash, Liam, from the fucking ghetto, but I still have feelings, because I’m a human. A human with genuine thoughts, thoughts that I probably shouldn’t feel, but do anyway. It’s an unconscious thing at this point; I’m unable to turn it on and off anymore, and I wish I could. God, things would be so much easier if I could just turn off how I feel about you, but I can’t do that. I can’t do that, and it’s killing me. It’s literally killing me to be walking around, pretending that I’m okay with you getting married and all that, because I feel like, at the same time, it’s a death sentence for me…”

“Iana, you don’t…”

“No, I’m talking now, Kennedy!” I shouted, and Liam immediately backed down. “Why would you step in like that in London? What could you possibly gain from sticking your neck out like that to save me?”

“Maybrook is a serial,” he replied, and I immediately went quiet. “He’s done this with other women in the past, not just women who work for Nell’s Rags. I knew I had to be waiting in the shadows, just in case he pulled something.”

I shook my head. “That doesn’t explain how you knew…”

“Penny mentioned it in passing that you’d be meeting him,” he replied. “Penny doesn’t know about Maybrook, and I only heard rumors about his dirty deeds and dealings. The confirmation came when I saw his hand on your thigh, and I knew I couldn’t let it go further than that.”

I dragged my hand down my face then, shaking my head. “What happens now?”

“We turned in the footage to the proper authorities, and they’re looking into it,” he replied. “I should tell you that, because he’s considered a pillar of the community, he’ll likely be able to resign his position, and pay out the nose to the confirmed victims.”

“They’re not victims,” I said, my voice firm, and Liam’s eyes rose to meet mine. “They’re not victims, Liam. They’re survivors.”

“Like you?” he asked.

I sighed. “Yeah, I guess like me,” I said quietly, turning at the sound of footsteps on the stairs behind me, and my eyes widened slightly then. “Axel?”

“Hey, Iana,” he said, putting an arm casually around my shoulders, and, for a fraction of a second, I could see Liam register jealousy in his expression. “Everyone’s wondering where the birthday girl went. They almost sent out a search party, but I volunteered to be on the task force to find you.”

I forced a smile to my lips. “Yeah, Axel, I’m sure you did.”

“We’d better get back down,” he urged.

I nodded, looking briefly at Liam. “See you later,” I said, and moved to follow Axel. “I doubt they’re really looking for me…”

“Sorry,” Axel said quietly. “Just saw that slimeball following you up here and figured that you needed rescuing.”

I shrugged. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“No, but you literally cannot handle being too close to him,” Axel said, his voice firm, and I locked my gaze with his. “He’s hurt you too many times to count, Iana.”

I sighed. “I know that. Don’t you think I know that?”

Axel shrugged, letting go of my shoulders. “That, or you have an extremely high pain tolerance, Iana,” he said quietly as we stepped back into the fray of the party.

. . .

I stepped into the restaurant where Penny had made us dinner reservations; I assumed it all had to do with the wedding, due to happen in about a month. I still couldn’t believe I’d allowed myself to step out of line with Liam, breaking my vow to be a bridesmaid, for bridesmaids are always faithful to the best interests of the bride. Shaking my head, I stepped towards the hostess desk, who told me that they were getting our table ready, and to have a drink at the bar while I waited for it.

I smiled, thanking the hostess and walking towards the bar. Hopping up on a stool, I asked for a vodka cranberry and flashed my fake I.D., which the bartender took. I perched on the stool and thanked him when my drink was delivered, sipping it slowly. I allowed my eyes to wander around the dining room, and settled on the row of intimate, two-person booths in the back. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when I saw Liam and Illiana sitting in one of them, and the very notion that she was reaching out to touch his hand made me sick. They seemed to be having a very serious conversation, and although all my instincts screamed to go over there, I stayed put, just watching them.

It was when Illiana leaned in and kissed him on the cheek that all bets were off. I wasn’t even aware that I was gripping my vodka cranberry in my hand, and, the moment Illiana’s lips met Liam’s cheek, I let the glass go. It shattered upon impact of the floor below, the pink drink flying everywhere, and the ice cubes clattering dramatically. I didn’t even lower my eyes to the mess I’d made as I got to my feet, and it was then that Liam and Illiana turned and stared at me, hers an expression of surprise, and Liam’s of shock. I saw him pulling away from Illiana then, and moving towards me, but I couldn’t…

“Iana, wait!” came his shout after me, as I fled towards the front of the restaurant. I dashed by the hostess’ desk, and flew threw the double doors of the entrance. “Iana!”

I ran up to the first Uber driver I could find, hopping into the car. “Step on it!” I nearly screamed at him, and he pulled away from the curb, just as Liam exited the restaurant. I felt myself shaking, but no tears came flowing down my cheeks; instead, they were suspended just beneath my eyelashes. I paid the driver handsomely when we arrived at my apartment, and I thanked the sitter for watching Hailey, but, as my evening plans had changed, I no longer needed her services for the night. I paid her double and she left, and I immediately walked into my daughter’s bedroom and spotted her playing.

“Mama?” she asked, getting to her feet, and walking towards me.

“Hi, sweetheart,” I said, scooping her into my arms and sitting on her bed.

“How come you’re home?”

I sighed. “Well, Mama’s plans changed for the night, darling,” I said quietly. “Plans do that sometimes. The most important part is, we all have to keep on our toes.”

Hailey turned in my lap then, her eyes meeting mine. “Is that why you’re sad?”

I smiled then, a small laugh escaping my lips because of my daughter’s perceptive nature towards my feelings. “Not exactly, baby. No.”

“Then… Why are you sad?”

I swallowed then, considering how to answer her question. “Well, baby, sometimes when you’re an adult, you feel a certain way. Now, you’re not supposed to feel that way, but you do, and no matter what you do, you can’t figure out how to stop it.”

“Like you loving Liam?” she asked.

I laughed then, and shook my head. “No, sweetheart. Mama doesn’t love Liam…”

“But you always say his name when you’re sleeping,” Hailey said, a small, innocent smile coming to her lips. “You say it quietly, but I can hear you…”

I smiled. “Mama’s just got a lot on her mind. Adult stuff,” I said then, and Hailey sighed, knowing when a subject was closed.

. . .

“Oh, I am drinking tonight,” I said, taking the offered flute of champagne and letting out a cheer as we toast to me and Yev for what must’ve been the twentieth time. “How’re you feeling about the little break we get?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “Not much. Summer quarter starts soon.”

I rolled my eyes. “Boo,” I replied. “Don’t remind me.”

Des grinned, coming up behind Yev and throwing an arm around his shoulders. “Well, we actually have some news…”

I raised my eyebrows then, sipping my champagne. “Yeah?” I asked. “Anything you care to share with me, Des?”

“We’re moving in together,” Des replied, looking at Yev lovingly.

“You didn’t tell me that!” I said, gently smacking Yev. “When is this happening?”

“Over the summer,” Yev replied. “That’ll be the perfect time to incorporate my things with Des’s things in his apartment.”

“I have some vacation time coming up, so the timing is just perfect,” Des said with a smile. “I’m just so happy you introduced us, Iana.”

I gave a little shrug at that. “Just had a feeling,” I replied.

I drifted around my apartment for a bit then; the people over were mostly part of the younger crowd, which meant that Hailey was with Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy for the night. I was extremely thankful for Penny and Lacey for throwing together this little celebration for me and Yev finishing yet another college quarter. It was nice to let loose for a while and allow myself to be happy, despite my entire world threatening to crumble at the seams.

“Iana?”

I turned around then, plastering a smile on my face. “Hey, Liam.”

“Hey. Haven’t seen you since…”

“Yeah, it’s been a while,” I said, cutting him off, knowing that the last time he’d seen me, I’d been literally running into an Uber to avoid him. This had happened a full three weeks before, and I’d done my best not to be stuck in a one-on-one conversation with Liam ever since. “I guess time flies when you’re having fun,” I joked.

He sighed. “It was awkward for me, too.”

“Yeah, well, I suppose I owe you for the vodka cranberry. Penny told me that they made you take care of the tab. If you want me to pay you back…”

Liam shook his head. “No, it’s fine. Really.”

I swallowed then. “How considerate of you.”

“I try to be, Iana. I really do.”

I nodded, swirling my champagne in its flute, trying my best to consider what to say next. “Well, if there wasn’t anything else…”

“Actually,” he said, cutting in my attempt to walk away from him, and placed his hand gently on my arm. “Iana, I…” He hesitated for a moment.

“Yeah?” I asked. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to say that…” His eyes locked with mine, attempting to convey something to me, which I had no idea what it was, and then, his courage was gone. “I’ve always had the utmost confidence in you, Iana,” he said, forcing a smile to his lips. “You’re working full-time, plus you’re a mom, and now you’re on your way in college. I knew you were one-of-a-kind from the time I met you, Iana, and that you were special. I just knew that something good would come from knowing you, and I was right. It’s amazing.”

I smiled slowly then. “Well, thank you,” I said, stepping forward, and accepting his hug. “I guess you could say… Knowing you hasn’t been easy, Liam Kennedy. But, at the end of the day, it’s been a hell of an adventure.”

I heard the harsh footsteps beside me then, which promptly caused me and Liam to literally fly out of each other’s arms. Our eyes locked onto the other’s for mere seconds, but it felt like an eternity as our souls were clamoring to join into one, although it could’ve just been my hopes, dreams, or my imagination. I turned my head then, spotting Axel, who gave me a look of pure rage then as he stomped towards the front door of my apartment, before yanking it open, and slamming it behind him.


	11. Like It Was Always Meant To Be

I stood before my desk in my office at Penny’s work suite, my eyes scanning the various documents of upcoming deals on of Nell’s Rags, and my eyes swam from exhaustion. All I could think about was seeing Liam and Illiana in that restaurant, his subsequent conversation with me on my birthday, and Axel taking me away from him. All this had happened inside of a month, and although I knew that the bridge would bend before it broke, I knew that anything could hit the fan as the days went by.

“Good afternoon, lovely,” Penny said, her voice breezy as she stepped into my office, offering me hot chocolate in a to-go cup from a local coffee shop. “Have you confirmed the reservations for the summer benefit dinner yet?”

I cleared my throat then, and nodded my head. “Well, yeah, of course,” I said, setting down the document I’d been looking at. “Considering that it’s being held this Sunday,” I went on, forcing a smile to my lips as I sipped my hot drink. “Six more days… You wanted it set for seven people in the private room, right?”

“We’re down to six,” Penny replied, whipping out her phone as it buzzed, clicking her tongue as she fired off a text message. “Apparently, Illiana’s flying back to Italy for some last-minute thing to do with the wedding over the weekend and can’t make it.”

I nodded, making a mental note to call the restaurant to confirm the change. “Pity she’ll miss it. I know it’s really only for the intimate side of things when it comes to the company, but she’ll know some of the secrets about it by the end of the month, once she marries Liam,” I went on, and kept my tone neutral.

Penny blinked, searching my face. “How’re you doing with that?”

I shrugged, turning back to my desk. I set my drink down and picked up my phone, pretending to check my texts, email, and then my calendar in order to avoid answering the question. “Fine. I’ll be fine. I am fine,” I said, stumbling over the words, and I knew that, since I didn’t believe it myself, my tone of voice reflected that, and Penny sighed.

“Iana, really,” she said, her tone filled with disapproval that I couldn’t bring myself to at least attempt to be honest with her. “This is me we’re talking about. Why won’t you just admit that you don’t want this wedding to happen even more than my mother?”

I snapped to attention at the revelation then, turning to face Penny. “Hold up. Rose doesn’t want the wedding to happen?”

Penny shook her head. “No, she doesn’t.”

“Jesus,” I whispered, my brows knitting together. “God, I thought she was just being overprotective and disapproving by staying away… But the notion that she _actually_ doesn’t want her own son getting married…”

“It’s not the ‘getting married’ part, so much as who he’s marrying,” Penny said, sipping her expensive coffee.

I shook my head. “I don’t follow.”

Penny pursed her lips. “She doesn’t want Liam to marry Illiana.”

My jaw dropped then. “Wait. I thought that Illiana and Liam went to go and see her over the Christmas holidays in Switzerland at your chalet…”

Penny nodded. “Yeah, they went.”

“Well? Did she hate her or something?”

Penny smirked at that. “It’s damn near impossible to hate Illiana. Hell, even I don’t hate her, and I’m very critical of anyone who’s joining my family,” she said with a little shrug of her shoulders at that. “But Mom doesn’t think that Liam and Illiana are suited.”

I laughed. “Well, certainly it was a rather quick coupling, but who are we to judge? They honestly seem… They seem comfortable.”

“Exactly. Comfortable. Mildly happy also comes to mind,” Penny said, sniffing slightly. “But there’s no passion…”

I shrugged. “Liam said it was almost like a business agreement anyway, one of the few times we lost control this past year. And no, I don’t mean fucking,” I said, rolling my eyes at the fact that Penny would even consider going there. “We haven’t fucked since last June.”

“When you quit?” Penny asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. When I quit.”

“But a business agreement,” Penny said softly, her brows coming together. “Those aren’t two words you want associated with a future marriage.”

“They’re his words, not mine,” I said, my stomach dropping when I heard the main door open, and the familiar sound of high-class men’s shoes on the wood floor. “Well,” I said, forcing the words to come out of my mouth as Liam stood in the doorway a moment later, “I’ll get right on that phone call to the restaurant regarding Sunday, Penny.”

Penny nodded, knowing I’d want to get the hell outta dodge so as to avoid any unnecessary contact with Liam. “Of course. I’m sure Hailey’s expecting you shortly anyhow.”

“Promised I’d pick her up early today,” I said, quickly gathering my things into my bag before I grabbed my hot drink and attempted to move past Liam. “Hey,” I said, and quickly moved into the living room.

“Iana,” he said, and quickly moved after me, and I was vaguely aware of Penny attempting to call him back, but to no avail. “Iana, can we please just…”

“Talk?” I asked, the word coming out far more harshly than I intended. “No. We have no reason to talk, Liam,” I said, opening the door of the apartment. “I’ll see you on Sunday at the dinner, as per the agreement, you’re not supposed to be here while I’m working.”

“I understand that, but Iana…”

“Stop,” I said, the word coming out like a breath then as my eyes locked with his. “Just stop. I can’t do this. I won’t do this. I need to go,” I said, my tone nearly begging.

Liam sighed, defeated. “Fine,” he said at last, and it was then that I realized he’d been gripping the front door, but, at last, he turned it loose. “See you Sunday.”

“Yeah, see you then,” I replied, closing the door behind me.

. . .

I held Hailey in my arms as I walked up the steps to Pops and Uncle Ian’s place, unlocking the front door and setting her down once we got inside. She ran into the kitchen as I shut and locked the door behind me, and let out a happy squeal as Pops lifted her up into his arms, tossing her effortlessly into the air and grinning at her. I smiled broadly at the exchange as I trooped through the living room, and stood in the doorway.

“Hey, there, Pops,” I said.

“Hey, kiddo,” Pops replied, stepping forward and kissing me on the cheek. “How was work today? You give ‘em hell?”

“Always,” I replied, moving to the kitchen table and sitting down, letting out a satisfied groan at the lovely feeling of getting the pressure off my legs and feet. “Where’s Uncle Ian and Yev? Are they at work or something?”

“Yev’s out with Des until curfew, and Ian’s working a double,” Pops explained, smirking ever so slightly as Hailey proceeded to place her hands on his cheeks. “Hello, little minx,” he said as he turned to look over at her. “How was your day?”

“Fine!” she cried out.

“That’s good to hear,” Pops said, before turning to look back at me. “Listen, Iana, I should let you know that…”

“They’re here?” came a voice from the stairs and, turning, I felt my entire being filled with shock when I saw my mother standing there. “Baby,” she said, and came towards me.

My head snapped to Pops, who still held onto Hailey, who looked shocked at seeing her grandmother after so long. “Pops, take Hailey out of the room,” I said, my voice firm, and he nodded, walking her into the living room and up that set of stairs. I turned and looked at my mother again, and crossed my arms. “What the hell are you doing here?”

She sighed. “Honey, I know this looks bad…”

“Looks bad?!” I demanded, throwing up my hands. “Really? That’s all you’ve got?! Mom, you fucking relapsed after more than a decade of being sober. Hailey was with you. You promised you would keep her safe if you ever watched her. I _trusted_ you,” I said, my voice very close to its breaking point then. “Then you get fucking drunk. Why would you want to break my trust like that, Mom? After all the bullshit you put me through…”

“Baby, I know I fucked up, and I am so sorry,” she said softly.

“Sorry,” I whispered, shaking my head. “No, Mom. Sorry’s not gonna cut it this time. You put me in danger as a child countless times, and I was there to pick up the pieces for Clayton and Fionn. It took me years before I had the courage to trust you again, and when I finally did, you promised me, you _promised_ me, that things would be different. I guess this is what I get for trusting an addict,” I said, shaking my head, and moved to walk away. “I get fucked in the ass for letting my guard down, but this stops now.”

“Honey, don’t walk away, please,” my mom said, and moved after me, taking ahold of me by my arm and, without hesitation, I yanked it back. However, she made the choice to grab at me again, and I immediately smacked her across the face.

“Something you need to learn by now, Mom,” I said, my voice thick then, as I stared at her, both our eyes filled with tears, as I gripped my hand, and she her cheek, in pain. “One thing we have in common is that we’re both survivors of rape.” I smiled bitterly then. “You should know better than anyone that grabbing a survivor can result in you getting whacked.” I shook my head then as I stared at her, knowing that I was through with backing down completely, and if this resulted in me and my mom being forever estranged, so be it. “That’s for letting my sick child cry and cry in her crib, while you got fucking plastered in the kitchen,” I say, and she merely stares at me. “I meant what I said. You are not to come near either of us; I may not have had a mother there to protect me all me life, but I’ll be damned if I don’t protect my own daughter. I want you to get the fuck out of here, right now.”

“Iana…”

“Now!” I shouted then, and took ahold of her shoulders without hesitation, and carted her off to the front door. “I am not ready to forgive you. Not again. Not after all the shit you put me and the boys through when we were little more than babies, and especially not when you could’ve really hurt my daughter!” I wretched open the front door then, and shoved her outside, while all the while, she stared at me, her brown eyes wide. “Stay the fuck away from both of us, Mom, because there’s no way in hell I can ever forgive you for this,” I declared, before slamming the door on her face.

. . .

After putting Hailey to bed on Wednesday night, I trekked through the living room, meaning to clean, but felt compelled to sit for a bit. As I lolled my head back on the back cushions of the couch, I whipped out my phone and accessed my texting app. Feeling slightly annoyed that there were three texts I’d sent Axel since my birthday, all unanswered, I rolled my eyes, fully prepared to give up completely on our friendship. However, another text came through, this time from Franny, informing me that Clark had Ezra for the night, and that she was on her way over to my apartment to see me.

I got to my feet shortly thereafter, once I heard her knocking, and crossed the living room to let her inside. I let out a sigh then, standing on my toes and pulling her in for a hug, which she immediately returned. “Sorry, just needed this,” I said, my voice slightly muffled by her shoulder, just millimeters above my head.

“I know the feeling,” she said quietly, and kept me in her arms as we shuffled into my place, and took the liberty of shutting and locking the door behind us. She guided me to the couch and sat across from me, staring at me. “Mickey told me when down the other day.”

I bit my lip. “With my mom?”

“Hell yeah with your mom,” she said, nodding.

I swallowed then, raising my eyes to hers. “You here to chew me out?”

“Never,” Franny replied, squeezing my hand. “I love Aunt Murphy, you know that, and she’s been my boss for years. But I _always_ support you, Iana, no matter what. I don’t know why she broke her sobriety after all these years, and I hope that one day you two can talk about it, but I’d never force the issue. I mean, if the roles were reversed, and my mom was watching Ezra, and the same shit went down…” She shook her head. “I might do worse.”

I smiled slightly then. “Or call me to do it,” I joked.

Franny grinned. “Yeah. I just may take you up on that.”

I nodded. “Well, I’m always here for you. You know that.”

“I do know that, Iana,” she said, her voice firm. “You’ve proven that time and time again for me over the years. Hell, if you hadn’t come by that night that I told Colin that I was pregnant, I don’t know what would’ve happened. I can’t thank you enough for saving both mine and Ezra’s lives that night.”

“I know you would’ve done the same for me, Franny. That’s what family does. You’re like the big sister I never knew I needed.”

“Back at you, Iana,” she said softly. She hesitated for a moment, almost as if she wanted to get to the point, her real reason for coming over.

I smiled then, and squeezed her hand. “You okay?”

She nodded. “Oh, yeah. Fine.”

“You sure?” I asked. “I mean, is something up with Clark and Ezra? I thought they took to one another pretty quickly…”

“Of course they did,” Franny replied, grinning. “They’re both great. Guess I’m just a little worried about the future…”

I smiled at her. “Aren’t we all?”

“Yeah, well, me for a specific reason,” she replied, hunching her shoulders. “Guess I don’t know if my husband’ll still love me by the end of the year…”

I made a face at that declaration then, unsure of how to respond. “Well, that’s a weird thing to say, isn’t it, Franny?”

She blinked. “Why?”

“Well, I mean, Clark seems like a pretty stand-up guy. After all the bullshit between the two of you went down, you still came together, because you’re truly in love. Why wouldn’t he love you by the end of the year? Give me one good reason.”

She sighed. “Appearance-wise.”

I scoffed then, rolling my eyes. “Franny, Clark’s the kind of guy who wouldn’t care if you wore a fucking grocery bag twenty-four seven. In fact, because it’s you, he’d probably like it,” I said, and kept right on smiling. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

She bit her lip then, unsure. “Well, what if I get fat?”

I laughed. “Well, you’re the manager of a diner which specializes in pie. I’d say that, as long as you keep up with your cardio a few times a week, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Iana, I’m trying to be serious for a minute here,” she said, ripping her hands out of mine and dragging them through her flaming red hair. “Please.”

“Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I said, throwing up my hands in surrender. “What’s going on with you tonight?”

Franny sighed, dropping her hands and rolling her shoulders. “Sorry. Doctor said that I’ll be a little unreasonable for a while.”

“Unreasonable?” I ask.

“Yeah,” she replied. “And I might have some mood swings.”

“Why would you have…?” My eyes widened then, and I felt the grin spread upon my face just seconds later. “Franny!” I cried out. “When…?”

“December, according to the ultrasound,” she replied, lowering her hands to her stomach. “Still a few weeks too early to find out the sex, but I know Clark wants a girl.”

I let out a shout then, and threw my arms around her without hesitation. “This is the best news I’ve heard all week!” I replied.

Franny laughed right along with me. “Well, Baby Crowe is a hell of a lucky kid to have you as its aunt, Iana,” she said, squeezing me right back. “I’m lucky enough to have you as my cousin and my sister, and I’d never want it any other way.”

“Me neither, Franny,” I said, pulling back and looking at her. “Me neither.”

. . .

The restaurant that Penny had booked for the annual summer benefit dinner was your typical hoity-toity one, where the executive chef would come by the private room and greet the diners who were spending hundreds of dollars, which seemed to justify his choice of profession. I kept my eyes down and focused on the champagne I was somehow permitted to drink; Penny explained that, as the executive chef was a business associate of the Kennedy family, he was trained to look the other way about certain things. As I swirled the beautiful liquid in the flute provided, I swallowed slightly, remembering that it was the exact same kind that Liam had brought for me when I’d just moved into my apartment.

“Terrance!” Penny cried out then, her voice filled with the warmth of pure honey as our chef came into the private room, which overlooked the Chicago skyline.

“Ah, Miss Penny,” Terrance said, his voice peppered with a pleasant French accent, as he crossed over to her, and kissed her outstretched hand. “I do hope everything will be to your satisfaction this evening,” he went on, as other servers trooped into the room, six in all, so that each would be required to put one plate in front of each person at the table.

“I’m sure it will be,” Penny assured him, “as always.” She then proceeded to go around the table and introduce us all, and, finally, she came to me, sandwiched on her other side, stuck between her and Liam. “And this is our COO, Iana Milkovich, without whom Nell’s Rags would likely no longer be here.”

“Miss Milkovich, an honor indeed,” Terrance said, and took my hand and kissed it, and I flushed then, feeling pressure on my right knee, beneath the expensive tablecloth.

“The pleasure is mine, Monsieur Dupont,” I replied, and Terrance looked enchanted by my attempt at French, before he returned to his conversation with Penny. I looked around the table as my steak was placed in front of me and, once I noticed that everyone else was involved in their own conversations, I reached out then and shoved Liam’s hand off my knee. “Jesus, do you even know how to keep your hands to yourself?!” I hissed through my teeth.

Liam sighed, his shoulders tensing. “Look, Iana, I really think that it would be best if we stepped out onto the balcony for a word…”

“Absolutely not,” I replied, cutting him off. “I’m not going anywhere with you. I told you this time and time again, Liam. These actions between us this past year, giving in to flights of fancy, have been inappropriate in the wake of your engagement. I’m ashamed of myself that I’ve allowed it to get this far.”

“Iana…”

“No,” I said, daring to meet his eyes. “I told you Liam. I _told_ you,” I went on, my resolve fading as I allowed myself to no longer be so cold. “Why can’t you just let me go?”

He sighed. “It’s not that easy, Iana.”

“Of course it is,” I replied. “You made your choice back in London, when I told you that I wouldn’t be second best. I won’t subject myself to being your mistress, like some medieval soap opera or some shit. I said that, while your relationship with Illiana continued, that you won’t have a chance in hell with me.”

“And I said that the marriage wouldn’t even be real,” Liam said quickly.

I shook my head at him. “It’s not just a fucking piece of paper, Liam. Not to me,” I whispered to him then, my voice trembling as I attempted to keep my cool in front of the four other people at the table. “I don’t care what kind of modern agreement you have with Illiana, and, quite frankly, I don’t give a fuck. You can’t just invite me into the fold if I’ve refused the invitation, and I have refused it, Liam, because I can’t be with you while you’re engaged to someone else. You’re getting married in just a short time, and I can’t allow myself to…”

“What?” he asked. “Live?”

I sighed. “If that’s what you call it, then yeah, Liam. I won’t allow myself to live with the notion that someone I care about gives himself in marriage to someone he won’t ever love. It’s fucking selfish Liam; not just to me and you, but to Illiana as well. As much as I tried to resent her during all this, as as much as I wanted to scream when she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I couldn’t say no to either. And do you know why? Because, whether I like it or not, she makes you happy. I mean, maybe you’re not in love with her, but she could make you happy. That’s all I ever wanted for you, Liam; to be happy…”

“I can’t be happy, Iana. Not completely.”

I bit my lip to ward off the tears from escaping my eyes. “I know,” I said, my voice quiet as I lowered my eyes again. “And neither can I. But, I’ll try to be. I’ll try to be happy, even if you’re going to repeatedly break my heart, Liam. I’ve had it worse,” I said then, and lifted up my flute without even looking for it, and brought it to my lips, hoping for some form of numbness to take away the pain.

. . .

Given that Franny’s announcement was a bit of a shock, I found that as I tucked in Hailey that night after the summer benefit dinner, and made sure that she was asleep before I left the room was more of a calming experience, given that it was something I could expect in any given day. I pressed my lips to my daughter’s forehead just before I walked out, looking at her incredibly thick eyelashes as they swept her cheeks and how her raven hair, just like mine, fanned out around her pillow. I turned around and switched off her light then, shutting the door behind me and heading into the living room. I went around in loops for the next several minutes, picking up Hailey’s various scattered toys and books, distracting myself from going to bed, unknowing what the morning would ultimately bring, and it was that unknown that frightened me the most, for it was one of the few things in life that we none of us could plan for.

I continued in this manner for over twenty minutes, picking up the living room, which had slowly but surely become a nightly ritual. Since Hailey was two now, soon she would have to partake in helping me, as she was as intelligent as I had been at that age, and I knew she was fully capable of doing so. However, she would be so tired at the end of the day that I didn’t want to rush her into growing up. I’d only had fleeting moments of childhood throughout my life, and I didn’t want the same thing to happen to her. She would always be my baby, and since I had no present plans of adding to my family, I wanted to prolong her childhood as much as possible, and hoped that she could grow up when she saw fit.

When the knock at the door came shortly after nine, by which time I was sipping a cold drink to ward off the heat of the night and was attempting to write up a business plan on my iPad to present to Penny for next week, I promptly got to my feet and walked over to the door. I was not expecting anyone at the moment, and had been told the age-old story that it was usually bad news if someone showed up unexpectedly at such a late hour. It was then that I raised my eyebrows when I saw Axel through the spyhole, and was slightly taken aback when I noticed how disheveled he looked. Biting my lip and remembering how worried I’d been over the past nearly two weeks of him not contacting me, I decided that it was safe as I unlocked the door and stood in the doorway.

“Axel,” I said, not questioning or condemning, but merely neutral as he raised his dark eyes upwards to meet mine.

“Iana,” he said then, his voice heavy. “Can I come in?”

I sighed, but nevertheless moved out of the way for him to enter my apartment, which he did, and I shut the door behind him. “Haven’t seen or heard much from you lately,” I said quietly, watching as he just stood there in the living room. “I mean, call me the crazy one here, but I think when you’re involved in someone’s life up to a point, even though we’re just friends, it’s considered to be a common courtesy to at least reach out once in a while, just to make sure the other one is okay. I mean, we’ve established the fact that, ever since I got back from California, that we had a relationship again; no longer a romantic one, but still. I mean, god knows I haven’t held up my end of the deal, given that neither of us were in the mood to talk at the same time, or at all, but that’s on you, too. You never seem to want to contact me anymore. It’s like I repulse you or something…”

“You don’t repulse me, Iana, jesus,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair as he contemplated what to say next. “Look, I…” He raised his eyes to mine then, and I could see the hurt and the pain behind them. “I can’t do this anymore, Iana.”

“Do what?” I demanded then, trying very hard to keep my voice in check, due to Hailey asleep in the next room. “What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“This. Us,” he said, gesturing in between us then as he leaned back up against my mantle. “We can’t be friends anymore, Iana.”

“If this is about you not being ready to accept my obligation to Hailey over some random friendship, then fine. I get it. But I want you to be straight with me and not jerk me around. I told you from day one, especially when we were dating, that you didn’t have to be Hailey’s father, but just to understand that I wasn’t going to give her away or give custody to my parents or some shit like that. If you’re asking me to choose between me and my daughter and intend to give me an ultimatum about it, then you’re even more fucked up than I thought, Axel, because you should know by now that Hailey is my baby, and she means everything to me. My mom may have given up me and the boys for a guy once upon a time, but not me. Never. Hailey is my daughter, and she’s not going anywhere, so get used to it.”

“This isn’t about Hailey, Iana,” Axel replied, not rising to the heated tone of my voice; he hadn’t moved since he’d barely contributed to the conversation. His hands were shoved into his pockets and his eyes had drifted upwards, towards the ceiling, almost as if he was looking skyward for some reason. “I told you that I loved Hailey from the get-go, and when a future for us seemed to be possible, I told you I would’ve adopted her, if that’s what you and she would’ve wanted. I never put myself before Hailey; you know it, and I know it.”

“Then, what’s going on here?” I whispered to him, crossing the room towards him then and reached out, and I immediately stopped when his shoulders hunched slightly at my closeness to him, his head going down to stare at his sneakers. “I really don’t want you to lie to me right now Axel. Please. I’ve had enough of lying…”

“Just goes to show that I’m not the friend for you,” he replied, his tone completely dejected. “I told you a year ago that Liam was a fucking liar for not being with you. I don’t know what he’s hiding, but it’s gotta be something, because that man loves you…”

I scoffed. “You’re crazy. That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“Maybe,” Axel allowed, lifting his eyes to mine, which were red with unshed tears, “but, as your friend, I know love when I see it. Liam loves you.”

“The fucking bastard sent me away after we fucked, and then got engaged to a goddamn European supermodel,” I said, looking away from Axel. “How is that love?”

“Maybe he’s trying to protect you from something,” Axel said quietly. “I told you from day one that rich families always have a dirty secret somewhere. I was Humphrey’s,” he said, his throat tightening around his words then, almost as if he was forcing them out, knowing that he couldn’t turn back now. “Liam’s family has to have something under their bed, and when he’s ready for you to know what it is, he’ll tell you.”

“What are you trying to tell me here?” I whispered to him then, slowly maneuvering my eyes back towards him. “You went silent for days… How do you think that’s supposed to make me feel, Axel? You’re supposed to be my friend…”

“You know as well as I do that, for the last several months, we’ve been acting like best friends without benefits,” he said quietly, and I chewed the inside of my cheek, the guilt literally eating away at me. “And I get it, Iana, I do. I’m not about to stand here and curse you out for not staying with me, because I know that you want someone else in that way, and were only using me for comfort. No,” he said, taking one of his hands from his pocket and holding it up. “I know I’m not wrong here, Iana. I know you couldn’t love me the way I loved you.”

“Okay, maybe I haven’t been acting like we were a real couple for the few weeks we were supposed to be one, or a friend to you in the last several months,” I said, my voice quiet, knowing that I had to give him that, at the very least. “I’m sorry, Axel. If you’re asking me to change, then I don’t know what…”

“I couldn’t ask you to change, Iana,” Axel said, smiling slightly then. “You being who you are is what caused me to fall for you in the first place.”

“Still, I’m sorry,” I said, swallowing. “I know you need someone to love you like that, and I really tried to, Axel, I really did. Before Liam and I did what we did the last time, I thought there could’ve been a chance for us to make it work, but now…”

“Now you realize how much you care about Liam, want him, and love him,” he went on, his words sounding painful, but not condemning, on his end of things.

I shook my head. “I don’t love Liam,” I told him, my voice firm.

“You don’t want to love him,” Axel explained. “There’s a difference. You don’t want to love him because he hurt you, last time you two were really together, and he’s engaged now, so shit’s gotten really complicated. Since then, you’ve managed to successfully put up a wall between the two of you, and to keep it strictly professional, because of Illiana. Whenever he attempts to find an angle, a way in, despite everything, you block it, not wanting to feel the way he made you feel ever again. That’s why you turned to me after you got back from California; yeah, I’d hurt you in the past, but it was a lesser pain, because you haven’t been in love with me since we were together during the trial.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but I immediately found myself snapping it shut as I truly thought about it for the first time. As much as I hated to admit it, Axel was right. I’d gone to him when I needed him the most, when I literally thought that life as I knew it would end forever, with me going to prison, possibly for life. And now, now when I was faced with losing Axel all over again, even if it was just as just a friend, it was terrible, but not unbearable, as it once had been, because, whether I liked it or not, the void of possible boyfriend and man I cared about the most had been filled by another man.

“Please say something,” Axel said softly.

“I don’t know what I feel for Liam,” I said, and Axel nodded. “Do I love him? No idea. Is there something there? Absolutely. I definitely need to explore that, if the moment ever presents itself to either of us, but before I do,” I said, crossing my arms then, “I need to know why you dropped off the map for days. Like it or not, we’re still friends, Axel, until you walk out that door… You came here to tell me goodbye, didn’t you?” I ask him then, my voice hitching then.

Axel nodded. “I came here to say goodbye,” he replied, “because I needed to tie up some loose ends before I go.”

“Go?” I asked. “You’re going away somewhere?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“A vacation will do you good,” I said, forcing a smile on my lips. “Maybe some new scenery will cheer you up… How long were you thinking of going?”

“If I’m lucky, just twenty-five years, if special circumstances are considered, given the situation I found myself in.”

“What are you…?” I cut myself off then, shaking my head. “Axel…” I whispered then, and went towards him then, pulling a bit at his hoodie, and seeing the cuts on his face, plus the dried blood on the tank top he wore beneath it, and immediately drew back. “Axel, what the fuck did you do?!” I demanded, my hands flying to my throat.

“I just went to talk to him,” Axel said, his voice numb then, almost as if he was suddenly putting himself back into the very situation which had brought him here. “Just went to ask why he snuck into my room, when I was a little boy, and did what he did to me. Son of a bitch fucking denied doing anything wrong,” he said quietly, his hands curling into fists from inside his pockets. “All I could think about was that smug son of a bitch laughing about how nobody would ever believe me, and he smacked me across my face, cutting me with all those gaudy rings of his… And then, all of a sudden, I saw Tommy, doing what he did to you… Just lost control,” he said then, as I shook my head at him. “I grabbed his gun off from the shelf and just fired at him, over and over again, and then there was blood everywhere, just like on the sheets whenever he did what he did, because he always went fast, never waited… Impatient son of a bitch,” he said, clenching his teeth as the tears went down his face again.

“Humphrey?” I whispered.

Axel jerkily nodded. “Yeah. Humphrey.”

I felt my own tears co-mingling with my lips then as I just stared at him for several minutes, so surprised that it had come to this. “You going to run?” I asked him.

He shook his head. “No. I’m going to turn myself in now,” he said, his focus coming back to him then as he raised his eyes back to mine. “Just had to say goodbye first.”

I nodded, crossing fully over to him then and pulling him into my arms, his sobs echoing in my ears as I held him, trying not to audibly cry. “Thank you,” I whispered. “Thank you for coming to say goodbye to me, Axel…”

Axel sniffed then, and we remained silent there for several moments, just holding each other. He pulled back from me then after five whole minutes, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. “Look, I know that you have feelings for Liam…”

I sighed. “Yeah, I do…”

“If something happens where you don’t get together,” Axel said quietly, raising his eyes back to mine, “would you be waiting for me when I got out?”

I sighed, not wanting to give him false hope, but also not wanting to crush him either. I cupped his cheek in my hand, stroking it with my thumb, careful to avoid the cuts his tormentor had given him, as one last piece of revenge. “I’m sorry,” I told him, my voice soft. “I can’t promise you that, Axel. I’m sorry. I was in love with you once, when I was fourteen. I don’t feel the same way about you that I used to. I can’t tell you that I’ll be waiting out here, the way you want me to be waiting. I’ll be waiting for you as a friend, and nothing more. I wish I could promise you that I’ll wait twenty-five to life, for what you want, but I can’t do that.”

Axel nodded. “I know that. Just hoped, I guess,” he said, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. “I’ll miss you, though, Iana.”

I smiled then, not even trying to summon my tears back. “I’ll miss you, too, Axel.”

Axel shuffled over to the door then, and waited for me to open it before he stepped out into the hallway, and turned back to look at me. “Give Liam another chance, even though he’s possibly taken,” he said. “I know you love him, even if you won’t admit it. I know he loves you, even though he can’t make up his mind about what he wants. Give it a shot,” he said, giving me a sad smile. “And, most of all, Iana, I want you to have a good life with Hailey. Nobody deserves that more than you,” he told me, walking over towards the elevator and pressing the button.

I watched as he waited for the chrome box to arrive, and when it did, he raised his hand to me, one last time. I did the same, as I leaned against my apartment door, and we mutually forced smiles onto our faces. I watched as he stepped into the elevator then, my breath hitching in my throat as he disappeared from the hallway. The elevator dinged just a second later, and I could just make out the doors closing with him inside them, as it pulled him downwards out of there, and out of my life, forever.

TO BE CONTINUED


	12. Voice in the Void

LIAM’S POV

“What are you thinking about?”

I raised my eyes to Illiana’s, across the intimate little booth we’d managed to secure at one of the hottest restaurants in town. “Nothing,” I reply easily, making a grab for my tumbler of expensive scotch on the table, and slinging it back. “Just a lot on my mind.”

Illiana nodded, placing her hands in her lap. “That’s what my father always used to say when he was afraid a business deal would fall through.”

“It’s nothing like that, Illiana,” I said, my tone gentle. “It has nothing to do with work, and everything to do with my personal life.”

“Like your feelings about Iana?” she asked, her eyes sweeping to mine, no resentment behind them as she smiled slowly.

I scoffed, signaling for the waiter to get me another scotch. “Of course I have feelings about Iana,” I very nearly snapped, nodding in thanks when the waiter returned immediately with another drink for me. “She’s the second-in-command of my little sister’s company. The last thing I’d want is for her to do what the last COO did, and nearly bankrupt the company.”

“Well, I’m not completely blind.”

“Nobody said you were,” I say, doing my best to keep my tone steady as I lift my drink to my lips and swallow.

“I know you two had something, Liam.”

“So what?” I asked, shrugging my shoulders. “You had other partners before you met me. What’s the difference?”

“The difference is, you had feelings for her. In fact, I’m pretty sure you still do,” she says, her tone not accusatory in the slightest; in fact, she sounds sorry.

“I don’t _do_ feelings, Illiana,” I sneered. “That’s what makes the two of us work. You can go shopping and be with all the women you want to be with, and I can just surround myself with work and everybody wins.”

She sighed. “I appreciate your effort to get me out from under my father’s thumb. He wouldn’t approve of my alternative lifestyle, as he calls it,” she said, smirking slightly. “And I know very well you’re not surrounding yourself with work. You’re drinking yourself into oblivion several nights a week because you’re depressed.”

“You don’t know a damn thing…”

“Oh, but I do,” Illiana countered, her voice gentle. “I know more than you think. I know so much about depression, because I’ve witnessed it firsthand.”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

“My mother,” she said quietly. “My father felt that, because of his grand social standing, that he could have all the affairs he wanted, without regard for his wife. He married her for her money and connections, just like he had. Unfortunately, my mother made the mistake of falling for the scoundrel, and, as a result, spent many nights crying because he wouldn’t love her back. He saw me as a disappointment, at first, and never touched her again. Father always said that it would’ve been better, had I been a boy,” she went on, with a little shrug of her shoulders. “But, he made do with me, and after my mother divorced him, refused to allow her to take me back to Spain. He gave me everything; an education, money… And, in return, I kept his business in the black because, whether he likes it or not, I’m a far better business person than he is.”

I shake my head then, shocked. “Dammit. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Nobody does, really,” she replied wistfully. “Except for Sofia.”

“Your girlfriend?” I ask, remembering the woman that was frequently flitting around Illiana at any given opportunity, and her expression warmed.

“Yes,” she said quietly. “Hopefully, one day, when our business obligations are fulfilled, we can get a quiet divorce, and Sofia and I can…”

I sighed. “I’m not the only one suffering here, am I?”

She smiled a little then. “Perhaps you are not.”

I shook my head. “I can’t let this happen. Not anymore.”

“All right, then,” she said, reaching up and gently touching my hand. “I formally release you from any kind of marriage agreement.”

I blinked. “Wait. You serious?”

“Of course I am,” she replied. “You want Iana, I want Sofia. We want to be with who we truly want, and neither of the ones we want wish for us to be married.”

I laughed at that. “You’d be right.”

Illiana laughed aloud then, the lyrical noise suddenly filling me with peace. She leaned in then and kissed me lightly on the cheek in gratitude, which was when there was a small shattering sound from across the room. “What on earth…?” she whispered then, and our eyes followed the sound, and we spotted Iana sitting at the bar, shattered glass at her feet. “Oh, merda,” she said under her breath as Iana got to her feet.

I pulled away from Illiana then. “I’m sorry…” I said quietly.

She smiled. “I’m not,” she replied. “Go after her.”

I flashed her a smile and ran, watching as she ran towards the front of the restaurant. “Iana, wait!” I shouted, watching as she ran outside. “Iana!”

I watched through the window as she ran up to the first Uber driver she could find, hopping into the car. I let out a string of curses through my teeth as she got into the vehicle, as I tore my way towards the doors. The anguish that filled me then as I watched the driver pull away from the curb was terrible, and I felt a small part of myself dying inside then, as someone I needed left the restaurant entirely.

. . .

IANA’S POV

Suffice it to say that things with Liam hadn’t improved in the five and a half months since I’d returned to my position as COO of Nell’s Rags. The only flipside to it all was the apartment I was renting not too far away, and that I could afford decent daycare for Hailey. Even though I was an nineteen-year-old teenage mother with only a high school diploma, I was on my way to getting a Bachelor’s Degree in Business from the University of Chicago, as well as making a six-figure salary and things couldn’t have been better. Hailey was healthy and happy, and despite tensions with Liam, my life was pretty damn good as well.

I woke up with my alarm that morning at eight, knowing that I had two hours to get to work and an hour and a half to get Hailey to daycare on time. My phone alerted me that there was a tornado warning, but it was for Northern Chicago, and didn’t say that our area would be affected by it. Shrugging it off, I got out of bed, immediately hit with the hot blast of June weather from my window as I left my bedroom and walked down the hallway towards Hailey’s room. “Good morning, baby, rise and shine,” I said, opening the door to her bedroom and seeing her, already sitting up in bed. “Don’t you look beautiful this morning!”

Hailey rolled her beautiful dark brown eyes. “Gee, thanks.”

I scoffed at her use of sarcasm, still touched that she lifted up her arms to be held, which I immediately acquiesced to. “You all ready for daycare?” I asked, kissing her cheek before I set her down on the ground.

Hailey shrugged, walking past me and towards the bathroom, and I immediately followed her, despite her frequent protests that she was a big girl and could use it on her own. Hailey tossed her long, black hair as she stepped into the bathroom, her body immediately relaxing as her feet made contact with the cool tiled floor. She advanced upon the toilet and began lifting her loose nightgown, and I instantly turned around, knowing that it was a good idea to give my daughter a sense of modesty early on.

“Sweetie?” I asked. “Daycare?”

“Yeah,” she replied as she began using the bathroom. “I’m ready.”

I smiled at how at ease she sounded about the whole thing; like me, she was born like a mini adult, which was something that pleased me immensely. Had she taken after her biological father, Andy, in any way, shape or form, I still didn’t know what I’d have done. “Good,” I replied. “Mama arranged with Penny to get off early so she could pick you up.”

“Not Papa?” she asked, and I sensed the great love I felt for Pops in her voice as she finished doing her business. She hopped down from the toilet then and flushed before gathering her clothes about her again and washing her hands.

“Papa is going away for his anniversary with Uncle Ian,” I explained patiently, turning around and smiling at her. “They’ll be gone for a week, but they’ll be back, and we’ll all have a wonderful summer together.”

Hailey sighed, but nevertheless finished washing her hands and dried them on the towel before she made her way back to her bedroom and looked through her drawers. “What should I wear today, Mama?” she asked.

I came into her room then, kneeling beside her and looking through her drawers with her. “What do you want to wear, sweetheart? It’s going to be hot today, so probably something that makes you feel comfortable…”

Hailey pondered her choices before she chose a T-shirt and shorts, and opted for a fishtail braid which I frequently styled for her. She smiled up at me as I selected her favorite pair of sandals and helped her get dressed, before I left her alone with a book so that I could get dressed. “I love you, Mama,” she called.

I turned around immediately then and crossed over to her bed, pulling her towards me and kissing her head repeatedly, so much so that Hailey squirmed and squealed with laughter. “Don’t ever stop, baby girl,” I told her.

“I won’t, Mama! I won’t!” she chanted.

I did my best to pull myself away from her then as I left her bedroom and returned to mine, getting out a pair of black ripped capri jeans and a loose tank top to wear that day. I picked my favorite sneakers to go along with it, plus the latest sweater that Penny had given me from her new summer line, not due out until the end of the month. I packed my bag, which I would take along with my laptop case, with something more work appropriate, which I would change into once I arrived at Penny’s work suite. Once I finished dressing, I pulled my hair into a ponytail and summoned Hailey to the bathroom, where we brushed our teeth together before I made sure both of our bags were packed and we left the apartment together.

“Are you going to be good for Poppy today?” I asked her, once we got to my car, and I strapped her into her carseat.

“Yes, Mama,” she replied.

I smiled, kissing her forehead. “I know you’ll be good for her, sweetheart,” I assured her, getting her a drinkable yogurt from her bag and handing it over. “Strawberry, your favorite and mine,” I said, giving her another forehead kiss and shutting the door, whereupon I got up into the front seat and drove off.

“Mama?” she asked.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Are you mad at Grandma?”

I sighed, knowing just how perceptive my daughter was. “It’s an adult thing, baby,” I told her, my voice gentle.

She nodded. “Mama?”

I smiled, meeting her eyes in the mirror. “Yeah, baby?” I asked.

“Do you love Liam?”

I felt my face flush then as I considered that. “I don’t know, baby,” I said at last. “That’s just part of the human experience, though. Not knowing everything. I just hope that, at some point, I manage to figure it out.”

. . .

The front door opened, like clockwork, as it always seemed to do, and I tried my best to bury my thoughts on the iPad document work-ups for future deals that Penny wanted me to accomplish. I was too happy to do it, as it was my job, and I had, essentially, signed up for it. However, the notion that Liam was still coming in here, every goddamn day, to seemingly check up on me, was just enough to drive me wild. I barely stiffened as he came up beside me, and set a coffee to-go cup beside me.

“Peace offering?” I asked him casually, not looking up from where I sat on the couch in the suite’s living room. “You know full well that I can barely choke down coffee, Liam,” I went on, my tone clipped. “I just drank it to rebel against my parents in my early teenage years, when I knew they wouldn’t understand my desire for Old Style.”

“It’s hot chocolate,” Liam replied, and, when I looked up, I saw he was holding a cup himself, while his beautiful silver eyes were gazing at his phone. “I think I know you a little bit better than that by now, Iana.”

I blinked, surprised that he had obtained my hot beverage of choice without even having to be asked to retrieve one. “Thanks,” I replied, my tone awkward, as I picked it up, surprised that it was still warm.

“What are you working on?” he asked, his tone casual.

I swallowed my first sip of the hot chocolate. “Some new deals Penny wants to have finished by the end of the summer.”

“How many?”

“Half a dozen, give or take.”

“Baker’s, or standard?”

I turned my face then, so that my raven mane concealed the smile my face was slowly but surely beginning to form at his joke. “Standard,” I replied, lifting the drink to my lips again. “By the way, it’s been awfully quiet around here.”

He looked around at that, something I could see from the corner of my eye. “I guess it has,” he allowed, shrugging.

“Well, I’ll have to meet with Penny soon for my final fitting,” I said, lowering my drink back onto the couch, so that it rested on my leg, and peering closer at the notes within the document she’d left for me.

“Fitting?”

“For my bridesmaid dress,” I replied, finishing up the reading and straightening up, turning to look over at him. “For the wedding, which you and I know is in less than a week. I’m so glad that Penny gave us ample time off to head to New York for the ceremony…”

“How can you talk about it like that?” he asked.

I shook my head at him. “I’m not following…”

“For fuck’s sake,” he whispered, shaking his head. “There’s no wedding.”

“No wedding?”

“No wedding,” he replied, not looking the least bit sorry for it. “Illiana broke off the engagement a month ago.”

“A month…?” I asked.

“To the day,” Liam confirmed.

I felt as if a giant weight, which I’d been unaware was sitting on my chest—and likely had been, from the moment I’d found out about the engagement in the first place—had lifted off me, and, for the first time in a long time, I felt the physicality of breathing normally… “You’re not engaged?” I whispered.

He shook his head. “No. Illiana told me she would handle her father.”

“She go back to Italy?”

“No, she went to Spain to live with her mother.”

I nodded. “So… You’re single?” I whispered.

He smiled slightly then, and the air between us suddenly changed. “Yeah,” he replied easily. “I’m a single bachelor again.”

I nodded a second time, wanting more than anything to walk towards him with purpose, and to slam him against the wall, to claim what was mine, to act out all the fantasies I’d had with Liam since last June, now that we could, but I found myself rooted to the spot. “Well, I’m glad you’re so happy about it,” I managed to get out, and I get to my feet, slowly moving towards my office, knowing that I have to keep it cool.

“I doubt that’s all you wanted to say, Iana.”

I sighed, my pace slowing, just as I come to my office door, and nearly shrink back when I see that Liam is right behind me. “It’s all I can say, Liam,” I manage to get out, and begin to slowly inch towards my desk, carefully setting the iPad down.

That fire in his eyes, the flame that had the ability to turn my knees to jelly and set my inner core ablaze, flickered, as he suddenly advanced towards me. He pushed me up against the desk, his fingers tracing patterns of heat on my skin, and I was very close to begging him to touch me even more than he had been. He cupped the small of my back in his strong hand, while his other hand went upwards, towards my neck, and moved my raven mane back and out of the way, the goosebumps the only thing telling me that this wasn’t a dream. His lips ventured towards my ear, where they rested, for the briefest of moments, before the hot breath snapped me back to reality once again.

“Tell me what you want,” he ordered.

“Liam…” I whimpered, swallowing, doing my best to keep ahold of my tone of voice. I was weakening in his verbal dominance, and he knew that; he knew the effect he had on me. “You know what I want…”

“Say it,” he whispered.

I shut my eyes. “Please…” I whispered, feeling my resolve slipping away.

“Tell me what you want, Iana,” he said softly, his voice a purr, as he moved his hand from the small of my back towards my front, drifting towards that secret spot between my legs, where only he could make me feel complete, and I was so close to moaning, begging him to take me up on top of the desk… “Tell me, and it will happen.”

“Liam…”

“Say it, and it happens.”

“No,” I whispered then, the tears filling my eyes then, as I shut them; I couldn’t bear to attempt to read his expression as I forced the word from my mouth.

“Iana…?”

“Please, don’t,” I whispered, trembling at his touch. I wanted him, so badly, but I couldn’t let myself fall back into the way things had been before, I just couldn’t…

“Iana, please,” he whispered, his hand moving from my neck and towards my chin, which he fully intended to turn, so as he could bring his lips to mine, thus rendering us both powerless to the mind-numbing oblivion that we seemed to crave like the intoxicating, crushed-up diamonds of street drugs—

“I can’t do this again!” I fired at him then, my voice choking a little at the end as I step away from his hands on me, refusing to allow my body to react completely, the only way it knows how, whenever Liam touches me. “Not again. I told you that last time that nothing can ever happen, and given recent events…”

“Recent events?” he asked, searching my face. “What the hell happened? Is that why you took yesterday off?” he demanded, searching my left hand for something before his eyes locked with mine again. “Did Axel…?”

I bit my lip, turning away from him. “Don’t.”

“No, tell me,” he said, grabbing ahold of my shoulder and turning me around, and I slammed up against the side of my desk; I gripped onto it, staring up at him in shock. “Did he beat you or Hailey or something?”

I blinked. “Did he _what_?!”

He sighed. “Look, I never trusted the guy, Iana…”

“He wouldn’t do that!” I cried out, pushing him away from me and walking out of my office, the heat getting to me. “Sure, I mean, our relationship was weird to some people because we got back together when I was seventeen, after the shootout at my mom’s restaurant. And, given our hookups when I was fourteen, during the trial…”

“Christ,” Liam whispered, looking horrified. “He fucking brainwashed you.”

“He _understood_ me!” I shot back, whipping around to face him again, feeling my eyes blazing in a moment of anger, and I couldn’t for the life of me keep the choked tone out from my voice, although it felt as if my vocal chords could rip out at any moment. “And besides, if he even looked at Hailey wrong, he’d be in a wheelchair for life, at best. Don’t even ask me what would’ve happened if he touched her.”

“Fine,” Liam huffed, crossing his arms. “He ask you to marry him or something? Besides, I thought you two were over.”

“No, he didn’t ask me,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Don’t act like you care.”

Liam narrowed his eyes. “Of course I…” He broke off then, clenching his teeth and lowering his eyes. “Look, let’s be realistic here for a minute. I mean, you never told me what went down in California with Andy that summer…”

“Because it was none of your fucking business!” I yelled back at him. “It’s not like you’re my boyfriend here! You made it pretty clear where we stand…”

“Yeah, and given that you’re with Axel…”

“I am _not_ with Axel!” I cried, and his eyes locked with mine. “I’m not,” I said, my voice calm then as I forced myself to breathe. “He and I… We’re done. Over.”

“You’re not back together?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“That night, at the apartment, I thought…”

“No,” I told him, my voice soft as I crossed my arms over my chest. “Axel and I, we’re not back together, it’s over. We ended things last November. I guess I just thought, since you’re engaged, that I didn’t want to look pathetic and single…”

“You could never be pathetic, Iana.”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes and leaning up against the wall, positioned on the outer side of the kitchen, on the threshold of the living room. “Whatever.”

Liam decided to ignore my sarcasm to what was, apparently, a genuine compliment. “Then, what happened?” he asked, and I looked away from him. “Iana, please,” he begged, and something in his voice compelled me to keep talking.

I swallowed then, knowing that Liam was likely to see it in all the papers anyhow. “He came by the apartment last night,” I said softly, crossing my arms. “He was being really distant lately, not taking my calls, and he and I… We haven’t been intimate since we broke up that last time so needless to say, I thought something was wrong…”

“What happened?” Liam asked, all trace of jealousy gone.

“He told me that he was going to turn himself in,” I said softly, feeling myself trembling as I remembered the look in his eyes, and how haunting the situation was. “His stepfather, Cara’s father, Humphrey... He killed him.”

“What? Why would he…?”

I locked my eyes to his. “The reason why his mother married Humphrey… I was originally told that the families were old friends, and it was seen as a favor, because his mother was raising him on her own, and she needed to finish school. In reality, Humphrey married Axel and Cara’s mother _because_ of Axel.”

Liam’s eyes widened. “Because of Axel?”

I nodded. “Yeah, because of Axel,” I said, and Liam sighed.

“Jesus,” he whispered, dragging his hand over his face. “I didn’t know.”

“And you shouldn’t have,” I told him, shaking my head. “That’s why I think Axel and I were together in the first place. We needed each other. He needed me to deal with Cara’s death, and I needed him for comfort because of what happened between us,” I told Liam quietly.

“Iana, I don’t think…”

I locked my eyes with his. “And I don’t think you fully understand how much you hurt me when things went down last year,” I said then, trying to keep my voice in check. “All you seemed to think about was yourself. You no longer had the excuse to fall back on that I was underage and your family and legacy could be in jeopardy because of that. I was given a cushy job by your sister, and I moved into another neighborhood this year, so it’s not like I’m ghetto trash anymore, Liam, but what you don’t seem to understand here is what a friend is.”

“Iana, I apologized for that…”

“So fucking what?” I whispered. “If you really didn’t want me, you should’ve come right out with it, _before_ we slept together.”

He lowered his eyes. “You’re right… But things are different now…”

I shake my head at him. “No, they’re not. We’re constantly stuck in this one place, neither friend, nor lover, nor stranger, and it’s gotten to the point where, Axel or not, I have no idea what we are, and even though California happened…”

Liam looked uncomfortable then, as he often did when emotions were high. “Fine, then. As your friend, what happened?”

“Friend,” I muttered. “Right…”

His eyes narrowed again. “Stop it, Iana. You know I’m your friend.”

I rolled my eyes. “If you say so…”

“I don’t want to hear this right now,” he said, his voice hard then as he grabbed ahold of my brachium and stared into my eyes. “Not from you. You know I’m your fucking friend, despite how complicated shit has gotten, with your job and my family, not to mention our trysts with Axel and Illiana this past year…” He broke off then, hesitating for a moment, fully absorbing that Axel or Illiana were no longer an issue at play here, and yet, didn’t know how to move forward completely. “Now, are you going to tell me what the fuck happened with that fucking asshole who fucking abandoned you?!”

“I fucking paid the son of a bitch off, all right?!” I said, and Liam looked stunned before me as he let me go. “I paid him the fuck off, okay?”

“Paid him off?”

“Yeah,” I said, dragging my hands down my face, “I paid him off. In exchange for him signing away his rights to Hailey, I paid for his last two years of college.”

“Jesus, Iana…”

“She’s my daughter,” I replied. “And it’s not like I didn’t cover my bases. In the document, it states that his parents don’t get any rights either. As Andy is an only child, no siblings can ever come forward with a claim.”

“And do Andy’s parents have siblings?”

“His dad had a brother who died,” I replied. “And his mother was an only child as well. No member of the Parker family can ever touch my daughter,” I said.

“And the grandparents?”

“Deceased, on both sides, I checked,” I told him, feeling relieved that I was now talking about my daughter’s safety in being with me, and that it was all out in the open. “She’s mine, and she’s always been mine, and she’ll always be mine.”

“So, that’s all you did there?”

I nodded; the tattoos didn’t matter, not at the moment. “Pretty much, yeah.” I hesitated for a moment before I crossed my arms. “If you’re fishing for information to figure out if I fucked Andy again, the answer is no. No, no, no. I haven’t slept with anyone since you and I…” I broke off then, my face flushing as I moved my eyes back down to my work table; I couldn’t look at him, not when I mentioned this, for it was still raw, as we’d barely discussed it. “Since you and I had our moment last June.”

“That was a year ago, Iana, and you were with Axel…”

“So?!” I demanded, my eyes flashing back up to his. “I told you that we didn’t—”

“Yeah, but still, you could’ve…”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Liam, I’m a mother, and the COO of your little sister’s company. I also have a pretty big family, and bills to pay. Plus, all those trips your sister sends me on for work. I haven’t had time.”

“Some of those investors must’ve been interested.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, well it wouldn’t have mattered. I was there for business, not pleasure. And besides, I wasn’t interested in any of them.”

Liam took a step forward. “Well, then maybe there’s still a chance…”

“No,” I told him, stepping back from him. “Despite the fact that Axel and me are over, chances between us don’t matter here,” I said, biting down hard on my lower lip, hating the fact that I was a teenage girl who had successfully gotten her heart broken by two different men. “You know what I want, Liam. I told you as much the last time we did what we do best. I can’t do it, Liam; I have a daughter now. No more indiscriminate sex; I just… I can’t. It’s not who I am anymore. I’m sorry.”

Liam rolled his eyes. “God, I wish you wouldn’t be so fucking dramatic…”

“Easy for you to say!” I yelled back at him. “You don’t have a kid to support in every feasible way! It’s different!”

“I have a company to support…”

“That’s not the same as a child and you know it,” I said, my phone vibrating then, and I moved to take it out of my pocket. “God, I wish you could be a bit more considerate…”

“Whatever, Iana…”

“No, don’t you ‘whatever’ me, Liam!” I cried out then, raising my eyes to his, after I’d unlocked the device that, unfortunately, pretty much every person on the planet seemed to be dependent on in some way, shape or form. “Can’t you see that acting like a toddler won’t get you what you want here?!”

“Fine, fine. Take whatever call that is, Iana, because I’m fucking done,” he said, throwing up his hands as I lowered my eyes to look at my phone.

My breath caught in my throat then; not just at the notion of him leaving, but at what I saw on my phone at that very moment. “Liam…” I gasped out then.

“Don’t,” he said, his voice hard as he moved towards the door. “I’m leaving. You don’t have to worry about me bothering you anymore…”

“No, Liam, don’t!” I cried out then, and something in my voice made him stop walking. “My weather app on my phone went off…”

“So?” he asked, not turning around.

“The tornado’s spread from the north to the south,” I told him, my voice shaking as I raised my eyes up to look at him, trying and failing to keep myself in check. I found that the notion of him leaving, walking out that door, and being sucked up into a cyclone was too much to bear. “It’s coming here, and it’s due to hit in the next ten minutes. We can’t leave.”

“I can make it,” he said.

I dropped my phone on top of the couch then, crossing the room immediately then and grabbing him by the shoulders, before I turned him around. “Don’t you fucking dare walk out that door,” I whispered to him, feeling my entire body shake as I held onto him.

“What’s it to you?” he demanded, refusing to look at me.

I reached up then, taking his face into my hands, and I felt my heart hammering in my chest then when he shut his eyes at my touch. “Because I can’t fucking lose you, too, Liam,” I told him, and his eyes snapped open at the unexpectedness of my words, while all the while I was willing for my voice not to shake. “I just… I can’t. Not you. Please…don’t go.”

“Iana…”

“Stay with me,” I whispered then, my voice barely above a whisper, our eyes refusing to unlock from the other.

He regarded me then, stiffening slightly, and I released him, suddenly feeling as if I’d let go of something very important. “Why should I?”

“Because I fucking care about you,” I whispered then, and felt the tears pricking my eyes. I shuddered then, as he lifted his thumb, and caressed my bottom lip, and I felt the yearning coursing through my veins. “I’ve put up with a lot of shit in my life, Liam, and a bunch of that shit has been your shit. But the eye of the storm is gonna hit in just a few minutes, and I refuse to allow you to walk out that door. And you know why? Because you could fucking die. I’m not about to let that happen.”

“Why’s that?” he asked.

“Because your mom needs you, Penny needs you, the Kennedy Bureau needs you…” I broke off then, realizing that those words, no matter how important they were, were not the ones Liam wanted to hear. In that moment, as Liam and I stood, literally a hairbreadth away from life and death, I knew I had to tell the truth. “I need you,” I replied, meaning those three words then, and something seemed to click within him then.

“You need me?”

“Yeah, I need you,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper, as I felt the intensity of his gaze upon me then as the wind blew outside, and the trees thrashed along with them. “Don’t you know that by now?”

Liam nodded then, taking my hand and leading me past the main room and towards the back, and I quickly grabbed my cell phone as we walked by the couch. “I told Penny to put in a shelter here,” he told me, hesitating in the middle of the hallway, for I’d since dropped his hand in a moment of uncertainty. “We’d better hurry, Iana. Like you said, the storm is ten minutes away, and we don’t want to be caught in it.”

I was about to step forward, when a tree suddenly came crashing through the main room of Penny’s penthouse in the wake of a violent wind, and I was immediately knocked to the ground by the sudden impact. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” I screamed, pushing myself up to my feet immediately. “Shit…” I whispered, and winced slightly in pain.

“Iana!” came Liam’s scream, as he did his best to navigate through the thick branches of the white oak tree, and caught a glimpse of me as I moved towards him. “You okay?” he demanded then, clutching my arms and staring at me.

I nodded, then, my movement stiff as the wind whistled in both our ears. “I’m fine. Just landed pretty hard on my shoulder,” I replied, and Liam looked shocked at my declaration. “I’m _fine_ ,” I said, my voice firm. “Trust me, I’ve had worse.”

Liam swallowed then, obviously tempted to ask me what that ‘worse’ was, but another bash against the side of the building caused him to lift me up and carry me out from the wreckage the tree had caused.

“I can fucking walk, thank you,” I said through gritted teeth and Liam, albeit reluctantly, set me down in the hallway.

Stepping forward, he showed me what I thought had been a linen closet in the bathroom, but actually opened up to a stairwell. “Come on,” he said, flicking on a light and motioning for me to close the door behind us as we walked down.

“Sure this is safe?” I asked, walking down and trying and failing to grip at the walls. “Put some railings in here next time,” I muttered.

“For some reason, Lacey thought they’d throw off the feng shui or something, and Penny was inclined to agree with her,” Liam replied as the lights flickered around us, and I could tell from his tone that he thought his little sister’s girlfriend’s reasoning was bullshit. “Not like this’ll be on the cover of _Vanity Fair_ …”

“ _National Geographic_ , maybe,” I said, and Liam chuckled softly ahead of us when we could finally see the bottom of the stairs. “They like catacombs, don’t they?”

“Last time I checked, those were ancient ones. You ever see the ones in France?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me!” I said, shuddering as we neared the final half-dozen or so steps. “Those gave me nightmares for weeks!” I hesitated for a moment close to the base of the stairs, catching sight of a rectangular shape in the semi-darkness, which could only be a door. “Is that it?” I asked Liam quietly.

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s a room of reinforced steel, with a couple of cots, blankets, and a few different kinds of non-perishable foods, plus water,” he explained as we headed down towards a door, where Liam keyed in a code. The door slid sideways then, and Liam moved out of the way to let me inside first, whereupon he stepped in behind me, and the door shut automatically behind him. “It can sense body heat,” he informed me.

I hesitated slightly, my thoughts going to Uncle Lip, Aunt Mandy, and Ronan. “What about the other apartments…?”

He grinned. “I may have helped the rest of the building with the funding to make sure that the other units came equipped with these.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course you did.”

“You like it?”

“Looks great,” I told him, tossing my phone down onto one of the cots, pulling my charger out of my pocket and putting it down next to it. “Least we’re safe. And together.”

“Yeah,” Liam replied, standing up against the door. “Together.”

I bit my lip then, moving to sit at the edge of the cot I’d thrown my phone on. “We could be here awhile, you know,” I said, slowly raising my eyes to his, and my eyebrows shot upwards then as he went over to the little mini-fridge in the room, retrieving an ice pack, which he handed over to me without hesitation. I felt amazed that he’d so accurately anticipated my needs, without me having to ask for it. “Thanks,” I said, shocked by this behavior. I removed the blazer I’d worn that day, sitting there in my camisole, jeans, and sneakers as I tossed my hair to my left side, and placed the ice pack on my right shoulder.

“How do you figure?” Liam asked, and I looked up at him again. “That we could be here a long time,” he said helpfully.

I swallowed then, taking in the way he was looking at me, now that I’d taken off my blazer, and felt as if my body was betraying me by visibly flushing. “The Tri-State Tornado, of which Illinois was one of the states, lasted three and a half hours, and ended up killing over six hundred people in our area,” I replied, turning back to Liam, who clearly looked impressed. “It’s also the longest tornado in history.”

“Fuck,” Liam said, leaning back against the wall. “So we could be here as long as that?”

I shrugged. “Could we be? Yeah. Unless this tornado has a stick up its ass and wants to break the Tri-State record,” I said, smirking.

“You said Axel understood you…”

I swallowed then, knowing that Liam would pick up on that. “Yeah,” I said softly, pressing the ice pack more firmly into my shoulder. “Yeah, I did.”

“What happened to you, Iana?”

I sighed. “Lotta shit, Liam.”

“Tell me.”

I sighed, rolling my shoulders and wincing slightly, for my right shoulder flared up at the movement, and I knew I’d have to take it easy. “I told you that I thought of Clayton and Fionn as my sons, because our mom dumped us with our uncle when we were kids…”

“I remember,” he said, crossing the room again, and I watched as he retrieved a first-aid kit from a high shelf. He walked with it and sat on the other cot, opening it and taking out an ace bandage, which he worked into his hands for a moment before inching forward. “Can I?” he asked, and obviously he knew not to break my boundaries without permission.

I nodded, mentally crossing my fingers that I wouldn’t attempt to launch myself at him, now that he was so close to me. “Sure.” I hesitated for a moment before I took off the ice pack, and noticed that the minor swelling had gone down considerably, and yet I inhaled sharply when Liam reached out and began wrapping up my shoulder.

“Did I hurt you?”

I shook my head at him. “No,” I said quickly, my cheeks flaming as my eyes locked momentarily with his.

“So, Clayton, Fionn, and you lived with your uncle…”

“Right,” I said, snapping out of the moment. “Our dad ran off to evade the law because Mom told him to—something about his old record coming to light or some shit—and then everything went to hell. You know how I hate cops?”

“Sure,” he replied, holding the bandage with one hand while the other worked with the clip to hold it into place. “You said that you’d never tell anyone about our relationship when you were underage because of that hatred.”

I blinked, surprised that he remembered that. “I did, didn’t I? Well, it’s because my mom hooked up with one,” I said quietly.

He raised his eyebrows, gently letting my shoulder go. “Couldn’t have been easy for you to see your mom move on that quickly.”

“We later found out that she did it to clear our dad’s name, but what she didn’t know, what nobody knew, is what went on behind closed doors.”

“He was abusive towards your mom?”

I sighed. “Yeah, he was, but everyone knew about it. Uncle Ian tried to get Mom to leave him, but she kept saying she loved Tommy, and that she was fine… What she didn’t know, what nobody knew, is that everything Tommy did to her, he did to me.”

Liam blinked. “What are you telling me? Weren’t you…?”

“I was five,” I replied, the lump appearing in my throat as I could physically feel the wool rug underneath me then. “Just five. I was a mother of two little boys and fighting to keep us all together. All I could think of was us getting taken away, so I learned to cook, clean, take care of the kids, and still manage to go to kindergarten. But it all came crashing down when Mom decided to go to AA on Friday nights, which was when my uncle worked a double shift, and Tommy would get off early from work.”

“He… He hurt you?” Liam asked, and I could tell from his tone of voice that he couldn’t bring himself to say that word.

I nodded. “He did,” I replied. “Pretty much every Friday, like clockwork. In the living room, on the fucking wool rug. I learned very quickly that I had to do everything he said. The alternative was death.”

“For you?”

“For my entire family, which I would be obligated to watch,” I replied. “And then he said he would kill me, too.”

“Think he would’ve?”

“Eventually,” I admitted, “but not at first. I think he would’ve used me for his sick pleasure for a little while longer, and then, once I was too old to satisfy whatever sick fantasies were going on in his head, he’d have killed me.”

“Was he the only one?”

“No, he wasn’t the only one,” I said quietly. “The second one was my middle school principal. I was thirteen. Later, I ended up beating up his son, who is Ezra’s biological father, which almost got me sent to jail.”

“Family retribution?”

“More like attempted murder, on the son’s end,” I muttered.

“Of you?”

I shook my head. “No. Of Franny. Told him she was pregnant, and he freaked the fuck out. I don’t know what I would’ve done, or she would’ve done, if I got there a second too late to step in and help her…”

“Fuck,” he whispered. “That sucks.”

I shrugged. “It’s over now. All of it is over now.”

“That why you think you’d never be with anyone long-term?” Liam asked, finally getting to his feet and returning the first-aid kit to the shelf.

I sighed, leaning back and lying on the cot. “I don’t know anymore, Liam,” I said quietly, my eyes locking with his. “You’ve turned my entire world upside down, and I don’t know what I can do about that.”

It was then that I heard a bang from somewhere outside, and I knew then that the storm had finally hit. My heart was in my throat, and when I sat up, I still noticed that Liam was respecting my personal space. I considered this for a moment, whereupon I felt as if my life was flashing before my eyes, and I couldn’t have it all end like this. I knew my daughter was safe, for her daycare was equipped with a shelter of its own, and, knowing that, I knew I could do what I had to do to be happy, if these proved to be my final moments.

“Fuck it,” I whispered. “Fuck all of it,” I went on, and launched myself off the cot without a moment’s hesitation and walked deliberately over to Liam then. I felt his shocked yet blazing gaze on me then as I approached him, and felt fire on every inch of my body as our eyes remained locked. That was before I grabbed his face and yanked it down to mine, and my lips met his almost instantly, the desperation behind the movements truly life and death. I wrapped my arms around him then, a shudder escaping his mouth and mine then before his arms came around me, and our hearts thundered together as one, and I felt my legs threatening to collapse under me at the impact of what the physicality held. “I need you, Liam,” I whispered, pulling back slightly and putting my forehead against his as the wind whirled outside, and I held myself against him, doing my best to keep my voice from trembling, but my emotions officially held no promises. “If we fucking die, know that I died needing you more than ever.”

Liam looked determined then, never wavering in holding me against him. “I’m not going to let you fucking die, Iana. Not now. Not ever,” he assured me, “because I fucking need you, too,” he said then, before putting his mouth back on mine then.

Automatically, I reached up then and yanked off my camisole, before I tore at his buttons and pulled off his blazer. We stepped out of our pants in fluid motions before I dragged him towards one of the cots, but Liam couldn’t seem to wait any longer. As the wind beat at the outside of the building, Liam slammed me up against the wall, doing away with my bra and panties quickly, while my fingers hooked into his boxers and yanked them down, and I felt not pain my shoulder, but, rather, exaltation of all that we did, and at the feeling of his hands on me. I stood on my toes then, before I braced myself briefly against his shoulders, winding my legs around his torso, urging him inside me as quickly as I dared.

My breath hitched in my throat, as I managed to take his entire length inside of me, and my eyes very nearly threatened to roll back in my head. “I need you,” I whispered.

“I need you, too,” Liam whispered back, as the entire apartment building shook around us, and as the outside area was ravaged by another storm entirely.

END OF SEASON FOUR


End file.
